depression/anxiety before school year starts

[scorpion91]

It's almost the end of my 'summer break' and I feel a bit of depressed. I tend to get like this at the start of every school year around this time, when I'm alone and haven't interacted with anyone yet. I somewhat have this mentality of an 18 year old student fresh of the boat. Though, I'm 23 years old and I'm a grad student and I live on campus(on campus apartment). I haven't found anyone that approaches me to hang out with them or anything like that. And I'm not a 100% full blow loner, let me clear that up. I do have friends, it's just that sometimes they are busy and such, but whenever I cannot get a hold of someone on my contacts, I feel a sense of abandonment. And I begin to feel some degree of depression that sinks in, I do not know why.

 

I do feel like coping with this sadness, but going to a bar tonight and having a few beers and maybe finding some new friends near my age(21-23 year old age range). I just want to talk to someone tonight because I keep feeling sad and anxious.

 

 

One friend of mine had withdrew from my college over some bs; another friend got evicted from my apartment complex over some drug bs. I wasn't there when that happen, I was studying. He didn't get kicked out of college or anything, just some probation from the school though. Though, these two friends had been close friends of mine I knew on the reg in the spring. Though, I did know other people on campus besides those two guys. I didn't cling to them every second of the day, let me clear that up.

 

I've dealt with social anxiety and GAD and depression for a long time and dealt with struggling to fit and other bs, a dysfunctional family and a father with PTSD. That's basically all of my psycho-social background in a nutshell.

 

I do see freshman come by and such around my apartment block, but I'm hesitant to talk to them.I mean, I do want new friends but I feel like it's "odd" to ask 18-19 years to be my friends. Then again, I was friends with 18-19 year olds last year and it worked okay.

 

I do know from counselors I've seen, about trying to join other clubs and stuff. Yeah I know that, maybe I should try that.

 

Sometimes I feel a mixture of emotions at once where I feel bi polar in some way.

[lexi17]

Hi Scorpian,

 

Thanks for sharing your feelings. I don't think it's weird to be friends with 18 or 19-year-olds or 40-year-olds. You're all adults, so any friends can be good friends. And I agree that joining groups and clubs and stuff is a good idea.

 

However, it seems like maybe the problem is more than just social. Like the part where you feel abandoned. Maybe you should try seeing a counselor again and sticking with, not just for solving the problem at hand but for having someone objective to talk to long-term since this is a recurring thing. I'm not saying you need medicine or anything either, but one of my friends who has a similar problem found it really helpful, that depression would come back no matter what she did and even affect her thoughts but once she started seeing someone and taking the right medication, it got a lot better.

 

I guess I'm saying I don't know what the right answer is for you, but I believe that there is one out there and that it's worth it to keep trying to find the things you need in your life not to feel like this.