3 years on

[daftpunk174]

Hi everyone

 

I'll try and keep this short and sweet.

 

Ex GF and I broke up 3 years ago (she dumped me) Went through the standard post break up meltdown. Tried to get her back and succeeded momentarily only for her to change her mind again. This all lasted a few months and somewhere between me losing two stone in weight/having a semi breakdown and me putting all my energy into trying to "win her back" I saw the light and came out the other end a bit tender but on the road to recovery.

 

Fast forward to present day- it still hurts! It pains me to admit that to myself but it does.

 

I was thinking of a good analogy for this pain and it's almost like a disease or illness that lays dormant in your body but then wakes up when you give it the right conditions. A bit like shingles if anyone's heard of it?

 

Anyway, I still think of her most days (mostly before falling asleep).

I think of what I'd say if I ever heard from her again, the good times and the bad.

Day to day, I'm pretty fine it's just.... STILL THERE!! eeek!

 

When she left me , she left the country (she moved to my country to be with me) and went home. When she left, I knew I'd never see her again and it was devastating! Hence my breakdown and general neediness post breakup.

 

My fears were true, I never heard from her again!!

 

I've managed to completely avoid anything to do with her for three years (Facebook etc) and I told all our mutual friends that I didn't wanna know! This worked for me moving on and it felt better picturing her as she WAS and just keeping her in my heart that way.

 

Anyway, a few days ago, I met up with some mutual friends and one of them mentioned something (doh!) ....It wasn't the news that was shocking, it was just hearing something about the girl I loved and who I've kept in my heart all this time. Honestly, It knocked me for six! My heart was beating though my chest, throat closed up, head started spinning (crazy!) ...it wasn't even big news!!!

 

It just made me think "!!" Why does this still have the power to effect me like this!?" Why do I still care so much?!

 

Some advice would be great.

 

I'm not planning on getting in touch with her at this stage but sometimes it does cross my mind.

 

Important note- I don't have a girlfriend and I've only casually dated a few people in those 3 years and I realise that that's a big reason why I still care.

 

Thanks

[kbbcoop77]

How long were you together

[daftpunk174]

How long were you together

 

Hiya, we were together for 3 years. 1 1/2 years long distance and then the same living together.

[rickyspanish]

for me after 3 years it was when I found out she left the state that things started to finally turn for the better for me. I had all the same thoughts for 2.5 years ( what would i do if i ever saw her what i would say etc.). after she moved it was kind of like the final bit of hope was erased. It felt like a mini breakup but lasted only a week or two then i started to feel my happiness and thoughts about her shift. I started looking at other girls again and began dating. Again the key was losing all hope. But it's not as easy as just saying "ok im not going to hope anymore" i had to have something happen. in this case it was her moving far away.

[Dottieflanogon]

The obvious reason is you haven't found anyone yet to replace her. If things worked out with the girls you dated , the last thing you'd be doing is posting on this forum about the ex. You'd be happy and content in that new relationship. You would care less what the ex is up to.

 

 

You just need to keep on dating until your next love appears in your life. Be patient,good luck

[sky09]

The obvious reason is you haven't found anyone yet to replace her. If things worked out with the girls you dated , the last thing you'd be doing is posting on this forum about the ex. You'd be happy and content in that new relationship. You would care less what the ex is up to.

You just need to keep on dating until your next love appears in your life. Be patient,good luck

 

You can never replace a person. You can find somebody else to spend your time with, though. Anyone that crosses our paths is a unique individual that brings a unique experience into our lives.