Carolyn6579 Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 I don't trust my husband because I don't believe what comes out of his mouth anymore...I have tried to let go of the past and give him the benefit of doubt however I am always telling myself I told you so..my husband has been unfaithful from the start and now he wants me to be comfortable with new female friend's and I don't think he understand or he just doesn't care about my feelings or how this makes me not trust him even more....I don't feel I am enough of maybe we are not right for each other..we live in the same house and sleep in different rooms and I am considering a divorce however neither of us want to leave the house so we are in the uncomfortable place.please any ideas... Link to comment
kalikat Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 Questions - How long have you been together? And when did you find out he had been cheating? Just curious... But here is my true response ('cuz I have been there)... And I am sure this sounds hideously sexist, but in MY personal situation this was an absolute fact... My ex husband figured that I would just "forget" his history of cheating. And (of course) it happened again. A few times. And when I pointed out the fact that he was "suddenly" hanging out a lot with the new girl at work, he would quickly turn the tables on me and express his disappointment in ME because I refused to let go of the past and he would tell me what a terrible person I was because I didn't even give my own husband the benefit of the doubt. Then he would storm out of the house (to supposedly cool off). Later I found out that the entire thing was really a ploy to make me feel guilty about doubting him...but his actual destination was his new "friends" house. And, yeah, there were scented candles and bubble baths involved. Made me nauseous. Divorce followed soon after. SO - my experience taught me that some men think they can manipulate the situation, and they will make you feel guilty for what they are doing so that you stop asking questions. Could have been just my ex that thought he could get away with doing whatever he felt like. But I think a lot of guys do the same thing. And, by him getting angry at me, he somehow justifies his unfaithfulness in his own head. Advice... I would say to be super aware of his goings-on for awhile. Do not let him guilt you into or out of any decisions. And continue sleeping in different rooms for now. Because eventually, the truth will become self-evident. Link to comment
shellyf62 Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 Why are you still with him if he cheated? My ex cheated too, and I threw him out. Once the trust is gone it can never be recovered. You will always question everything. Leave & start a new life, it will be like a weight lifting off your shoulders. Link to comment
crowleysgirl Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 So he was unfaithful from the beginning.... Why do you think he will start being faithful now? Link to comment
Andrina Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 Players always have harems. Male/female friendships are common when one isn't in a serious relationship. Once a couple becomes a couple, I don't believe in close friendships of the opposite sex, or giving out phone numbers to any new acquaintances of the opposite sex. If I started dating a guy whose best friend was Suzy and they went to the movies and bowling etc. on a regular basis, I would've dumped him because I need to be the only important relationship in my man's life other than his relatives. I've told my husband the rules, which he has never broken and isn't that sort of person, but I like to make myself clear. I do not give my number to men and he doesn't either. I don't mind Facebook friends of the opposite sex such as friends from your past and co-workers, as long as the communication is spare and has nothing sexual or flirty about it. Your husband hasn't changed. Houses are possessions. Buy him out or sell it and downsize. Get a lawyer and take the garbage to the sidewalk. I'm sorry this horrible thing has happened to you. With time and distance from him, you will eventually get a chance at a better life. Link to comment
Carolyn6579 Posted July 28, 2015 Author Share Posted July 28, 2015 We have been together seven years and he cheated from the start and lied about it until we got married Link to comment
Carolyn6579 Posted July 29, 2015 Author Share Posted July 29, 2015 I don't and that is why I don't trust him Link to comment
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