Why lie to me?!?

[foreverlonely584]

So I recently asked out this girl and thought she might be different from some of my previous girlfriends. Well.....I was wrong. We went out once and I told her that the NUMBER 1 thing to piss me off was lying to me. Imagine that....she lied. I understand that people do tell little white lies, but not telling me that another guy asked you out a few days before I did and that you're suddenly dating him is not a LITTLE WHITE LIE!!! I guess what irritates me the most is that she sat there during out first date telling me how important honesty is and that "you will know when I'm lying." Then she goes on to tell me that she likes talking to me and hanging out with me. I don't want her to think that I'm just going to sit around waiting for something bad to happen and I'll be there for her, because I'm not.

 

Basically I give people the same respect they give me, so when you lie to me, don't expect me to be all happy chipper, like nothing happened. Anyone of my friends can attest to the fact that I will tell you the truth, whether it's the good, bad or ugliest! That's just me and most of my friends act the same towards me.

 

So, I guess my question to anybody reading this is, how do I tell this girl that I don't want to hear from her again. Mind you, I don't want to sound like too much of a jerk, because honestly, I'm not. I've been told many times that I'm the nicest guy you could meet, but I just don't appreciate being lied to.

[DN]

Just say, without explanation "I don't want to talk to you anymore, please don't contact me". Neutral, non-aggressive tone.

[foreverlonely584]

Easier said than done. I don't have a temper usually, unless I'm lied to...only then it seems to come out. I'm not sure how to keep it controlled while "discussing" this situation with her.

[LifePak]

Have you ever considered that maybe she doesn't feel there's anything wrong with dating 2 guys at once? I'm not telling you to compensate for less. But i don't think u should be upset with someone just because they have different values from you.

 

So forgive her for being different and move on.

[foreverlonely584]

Well that's the thing.....she told me that she's a one guy kind of girl. And no, I wouldn't mind her dating another guy....it's just that she just pulled me along for about 3 weeks before telling me about the other guy. In my book, that's not right.

[DN]

Why is that easier said than done? If you do that you won't have time to get angry before you hang up. Why do you want an explanation? You feel she lied to you and don't want anything more to with her.

 

Or do you? if you do, then you need to admit that to yourself and decide what you want to do about it.

[cutekttylvr926]

Okay,

 

Here goes. I just went through the same prob with my boyfriend, only I lied to him. I lied because I was afraid that he would be extremely upset or angry at me if he found out the truth (that I hitch hiked to come see him). Anyway, sounds to me like the girl has a fear of how you are going to react if she shares something with you. My advice is to not be angry at all, but discuss the situation. Let her know how you feel about two timing, and she will probably be amazed at your ability to level and totally drop the other guy.

 

Hope this helps!

[LifePak]

Don't mind my attitude. Cause you're a guy, i don't want to soften my tone.

 

Don't create a standard just to make yourself right and angry.

 

Besides, she sounds quite different to me. She tells you about the other guy.

 

I see different reasons as to why she might be telling you this.

But I'm not going to tell you, you ask the girl why.

[dreamweaverdude]

forever,

 

it nevers feels good to be lied to, but if all you lost was three weeks consider yourself lucky. Better to find out now that three months or three years down the road. She may also feel that if there is no real committment then she is free to dat whom and whenever. Did she really have an obligation to you not to date anyone else? Doesnt matter if she sais she was a one-guy girl or not sounds like to me she was keeping her options open. Not defending her, but sounds like you want to control her before you really get deeplu involved with her. Maybe she sensed that....