Ontario Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 Hey, everybody. My name's Ryan V., I'm a seventeen year old junior in high school, and I have a sort of problem involving my relationship with my girlfriend. Recently, I've started dating a girl I met at work. She asked me out, and I accepted her offer. Sure, I jumped the gun a bit, I'll admit. Problem? She's thirteen, and in seventh grade. But we've been going out now for a good one-and-a-half; maybe two months. I love Ashlee alot, and normally I'd think that's all that matters. We're three-and-a-half years apart in age. Big deal. Bigger age-gap relationships have been done before. What I really have a problem with is the disapproval of my peers. I rely on my friends, my peers, to survive high school. Were i to tell them about me and Ashlee, people would call me sick, and the few that found out called me a "cradle robber" and a "rapist." They know not the whole story. ashlee and I have not had, and will not have sex. We both agreed to that--it's wrong and illegal (for us at least) I did not, and will not commit statutory rape. But everyone assumes the opposite. They think they know it all, and it really sickens me that they do so if they do discover my little secret. If more people were to find out, how would I explain in the most effective way? How would I get them to screw off and let me live my life my way with my girlfriend? Any and all criticism and advice is accepted. Link to comment
caramellabacix Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 when i first met the guy i was recently hooking up with, i was thirteen in eighth grade and he was a seventeen year old junior. we became friends, and remained friends until i was finally a junior myself. we then took it to the next level, after we both matured a bit. he is now nineteen, almost twenty, and i am sixteen. as i grew older, the age gap seemed to become more acceptable to my friends. they see us more compatable being sixteen and twenty than thirteen and seventeen. however, other problems that have nothing to do with age are keeping us apart right now... your friends just need to warm up to the idea of you and ashlee being together. however, middle schoolers and highschools find it very hard to relate eachother... and it may be hard to keep the relationship going in the long run. but that's just my 2¢ Link to comment
PAdreamer Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 I am a huge advocate for age gap relationships. My fiance and I are 8 years apart, and we don't have a problem with the difference at all. I will say that the younger you are, the more awkward an age gap relationship can be. Once you get into your 20's, most people who are a few years older than you are going to be at a similar maturity level. But there's a huge difference between middle school and high school students, as a rule. I think that maturity is the key factor in a relationship. If you and the person click, and you can relate to each other, then that's all that matters. Maturity dictates a person's communication skills, likes and dislikes, and how ready a person is to commit to a relationship. Obviously there are always exceptions to the rule. If you feel comfortable with your girlfriend, don't worry abut what your friends say. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 It's not easy at all to find someone that you're compatible with and that you really like. That special 'click' is sometimes hard to find. So, if you found someone like that, who cares what your friends say! Maturity level, as the other posts said, is very important. Maybe once your friends get to know her, they will warm up to her, as another poster said. Good luck! Link to comment
Ontario Posted January 27, 2005 Author Share Posted January 27, 2005 I suppose you're right. And Ashlee doesn't act like a seventh grader--she has the maturity level and intelligence of a freshman. We share alot of the same opinons and views and stuff... Thanks. You've reassured me. Link to comment
PAdreamer Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 Part of it, also, could be the age your friends are at. Guys that age often try to play it up like they're above the rest, you know? It may be subconsciously, but in their minds they're probably thinking they're too good for that. It's pride on their part, and they need to get past it. Link to comment
TrueHeart Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 As far as your age-gap goes, and others age-gap relationships, you have to know that each scenario is different depending on the age of the involved parties.. Your age gap at YOUR age IS a big deal to some, versus say, the same 3.5 year age-gap between someone 23 and 27. Age-gap relationships as a whole can be a very controversial subject to some, especially those who have never dated a person younger/older than them. So how you do gain acceptance from your peers? How do you stop them from the labels they're calling you? In this instance, it might be more difficult to find a solution. If you love her, thats all it should be right now.. Keep your private life as to yourself as possible with these judgemental people.... Link to comment
drahcir Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 Ummm...i suggest that you and Ashlee just remain friends for the next couple of years. Even if you don't have sex, people might have wrong ideas about you. Just be her friend....get to know her...take care of her....be there for her. If you really love her, then you will be patient in waiting a couple of years before you can develop a strong romantic relationship with her.... take care, Drahcir Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 Ummm...i suggest that you and Ashlee just remain friends for the next couple of years. Even if you don't have sex, people might have wrong ideas about you. Just be her friend....get to know her...take care of her....be there for her. If you really love her, then you will be patient in waiting a couple of years before you can develop a strong romantic relationship with her.... take care, Drahcir Oh! Who cares what other people think !?! Waiting around for a few years doesn't sound like a feasible option to me. If a guy said to me, "oh, i love you, let's date in a few years" I'd say, "goodbye!" Link to comment
drahcir Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 Ummm...i suggest that you and Ashlee just remain friends for the next couple of years. Even if you don't have sex, people might have wrong ideas about you. Just be her friend....get to know her...take care of her....be there for her. If you really love her, then you will be patient in waiting a couple of years before you can develop a strong romantic relationship with her.... take care, Drahcir Oh! Who cares what other people think !?! Waiting around for a few years doesn't sound like a feasible option to me. If a guy said to me, "oh, i love you, let's date in a few years" I'd say, "goodbye!" ---True LOVE waits for someone..... Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 ummm.... ok, whatever. There will never be a "right time for love" It's love, not a space shuttle launch. I have a life to get on with, I refuse to sit around waiting for years for some guy. Besides, women are the ones with the biological clocks... why should we have to wait !?! (Not that that's Ashlee's issue) Link to comment
PAdreamer Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 Ummm...i suggest that you and Ashlee just remain friends for the next couple of years. Even if you don't have sex, people might have wrong ideas about you. Just be her friend....get to know her...take care of her....be there for her. If you really love her, then you will be patient in waiting a couple of years before you can develop a strong romantic relationship with her.... take care, Drahcir Oh! Who cares what other people think !?! Waiting around for a few years doesn't sound like a feasible option to me. If a guy said to me, "oh, i love you, let's date in a few years" I'd say, "goodbye!" ---True LOVE waits for someone..... True love also won't worry about what others think. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 You are right on PAdreamer! Link to comment
TrueHeart Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 Nice.. All of those are in fact true.. but the last one by far hits the nail on the head. Link to comment
Ontario Posted January 29, 2005 Author Share Posted January 29, 2005 Alright! I get it! thank you! Link to comment
drahcir Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 ummm.... ok, whatever. There will never be a "right time for love" It's love, not a space shuttle launch. I have a life to get on with, I refuse to sit around waiting for years for some guy. Besides, women are the ones with the biological clocks... why should we have to wait !?! (Not that that's Ashlee's issue) ---the girl in this post is only 13...don't worry, her biological clock won't run out any time soon... Link to comment
PAdreamer Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 LOL! That's true. But I think the main point here is that you shouldn't put love off if it's there for you. I'm not saying you should jump into every relationship without a second thought. But if you have it and you want it, don't walk away because of outside influences. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 Drachir - I'm surprised that you didn't read my post more carefully. You're the criminology student after all. I have a life to get on with, I refuse to sit around waiting for years for some guy. Besides, women are the ones with the biological clocks... why should we have to wait !?! (Not that that's Ashlee's issue) I said it wasn't his girl Ashlee's problem. Anyways....I ditto everything PAdreamer said. Link to comment
PAdreamer Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 HAHAHA Annie! No comment.... *snickers* Link to comment
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