Heartbrok3n445 Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 I have broken NC a few times as you will see from my previous posts and I'm really angry at myself now. I feel like I've ruined everything. If I had just shut my mouth then maybe I wouldn't feel so crap. I just couldn't control myself. I so desperately wanted to know why he gave me hope then basically took it away. I was angry. I am annoyed as well because he was suppose to move his stuff out by a certain day and he still hasn't done anything. He KNOWS that he needs to. I dont want to talk to him cause it wil just annoy him and he already knows anyway. He knows by doing this its making it harder for me and that I would need to contact him to find out stuff (I'm not going to though). If I was him (since he seems to be over it and I assume doesnt want to hear from me) I would have got my stuff out asap to avoid any reason for contact. I'm struggling enough. With the comments he made at the start of the week giving me hope to the obvious annoyance that he would have now has made it worse for me PLUS this whole moving out stuff. I am so mad at myself for not going NC right away and just sticking to it. I've now ruined any chance that he would maybe want me back. Now he will just remember me as annoying and clingy and stupid. I dont know how to let this go. Link to comment
pavlo81 Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Why have you got 2 threads in this? Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Why have you got 2 threads in this? I agree with greta. Link to comment
Heartbrok3n445 Posted May 9, 2015 Author Share Posted May 9, 2015 I dont? Where is the other one? Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 So pack up his stuff, call him and tell him he has X amount of time to get it, it's in the yard. After that you are going to put a sign "free stuff" on it and anyone can take it. Ready, set, and go. OR if it's not that much stuff, pack it up in a box, drive it wherever he is or a relative, dump it on the doorstep, snap a pic to show him where it is, send that with a "Here's your crap, goodbye." And then do just that. Stop storing his crap. Stop talking to him outside of that. Stop hoping. It's over and done, you need to move on and fly free, his crap needs to go. Trust me, if he wants it and knows you aren't going to keep it until he decides to keep his own sweet slow time in getting it, he'll be there. Or not. Whatever. Things of serious value of course you mail to him with a return receipt as proof--ie. laptops or what have you. But clothes or books or junk like that? Nah. You need to act and act now, because he will never do it and is likely keeping the stuff there, so if things don't work out like he hoped they would with some other girl he can show up and simply move back in until he is off again. If you want to be a revolving hotel for him, great. Keep it there. Otherwise get rid of it and him for good. Break the chain. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 And you didn't ruin anything. If he was going to come back he'd come back sooner or later. It's never too late to start NC, but you do NC to help yourself heal, not to get someone back. That you have zero control over other than the obvious if you chase them and act all frantic and clingy then of course they won't want you back. You need NC to get a grip and really learn if this is even something you'd want after all. In the meantime get rid of his stuff and cut the line. Link to comment
Heartbrok3n445 Posted May 10, 2015 Author Share Posted May 10, 2015 Thank you ParisPaulette. Well I tried to call him yesterday afternoon to tell him that he needed to get his stuff out TODAY otherwise I would be leaving it out the front but he has blocked my number (probably because I was so crazy and clingy this week so I didnt know what else to do and I contacted his parents who didnt know we had broken up. His parents have helped move all his stuff out and its now at their place and they said they'd deal with him giving keys back etc. He's going to be so angry at me for going to his parents cause at the start of the week he asked me not to say anything so he could but I had no choice. He knows how much harder he has made everything for me. I've had to move all mine and his stuff out and go through our stuff which has made it even more hurtful. He hasnt had to do any of it. He knows how bad this would be for me and I am still so confused by why he has done this to me. Well, idk why im confused because the answer is quite clear. He obviously does not have any care or respect for me. He knows this is hit me really hard and that I want him back. I cant help but think if I just went NC at the start then maybe he wouldnt have done this to me He just gave me that hope and I clung to it and wanted it so bad. I really regret doing that. I should have learnt the last time. He has done all this to me yet I STILL want him back!? How pathetic is that!? I still have that hope that maaaaybe he'll wake up in a month or two and realise he made a mistake. How do I let go of that cause I feel like that will stop my progress? Link to comment
mhowe Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 Just picture his face when he finds out you involved his parents. He won't soon forget that and he also won't forgive it. So accept that you took the final step to close the door and now you can look forward to what the future holds. Link to comment
pavlo81 Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 I feel ta pain tell him to get farked abd try and move on....easier said than done I know Link to comment
Heartbrok3n445 Posted May 10, 2015 Author Share Posted May 10, 2015 I wishhhh it was that easy! Only we also have a joint loan that the bank declined us splitting it so I still feel like I cant be 100% cut off from him apparently we can try again in a month or two but I dont really know if ill be in a place where I can communicate with him... But hey! I was soooo close to msging him tonight cause I've been so down but I didnt very proud of myself lol Link to comment
Heartbrok3n445 Posted May 10, 2015 Author Share Posted May 10, 2015 And also he already knew his parents found out. He has ignored them too anyway so oh well he knows I had no other choice. I feel like in this situation I did the right thing. He has NOT done the right thing in this situation. Link to comment
mhowe Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 I wishhhh it was that easy! Only we also have a joint loan that the bank declined us splitting it so I still feel like I cant be 100% cut off from him apparently we can try again in a month or two but I dont really know if ill be in a place where I can communicate with him... But hey! I was soooo close to msging him tonight cause I've been so down but I didnt very proud of myself lol I am glad you fought the urge. Because asking the man who broke your heart to comfort you is not a good idea. At all. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.