she's giving mixed signals, aaahh

[wanderer]

hey, it's been a while since i've been here. here's an update on what's going on that i could use some advice on:

 

so i've been hanging out with this girl that i met about 6 weeks ago. you might remember the story i posted about when we first met. we've become good friends over the past few weeks, and we hang out pretty much every weekend (not alone, but with friends). also, about two weeks ago i asked her out and we went on a date. neither of us have asked the other out since, but it's not an awkward situation. she's 16 and she's never had a real boyfriend before, only a temporary bf at a summer camp last summer that only lasted two weeks. as far as i know, i'm the first guy to ever ask her out, much less go on a date with her.

 

my problem is i'd really like to ask her out again, but i'm nervous and i'm doubtful about it. i'm really into her so i want to take her out again. the trouble is, she's the type of girl who's sort of cynical about relationships - you know, the kind of girl that if you sang her a song or painted her a picture, she'd be more likely to see it as corny (but still sweet) instead of a really caring gesture. that's not to say she's cold or anything, don't get me wrong. so anyway, this makes me hesitant to ask her out again, because i'm not sure if she's into me as someone who could be more than a friend. she'd been giving me mixed signals over the time that i've known her. she says she has a thing for musicians when she knows full well i play guitar and drums, and she sometimes sits on my lap or puts her head on my lap if she's laying down. once we were watching a movie with some of her friends and she had her head only about 3 inches from my head/shoulder. but while she does this kind of stuff, she doesn't say anything flirtacious to me and she hasn't mentioned our date, and sometimes when i get a little flirty with her, just like complimenting her (not too much, just occasionally when it fits a conversation, and i say things that i believe, not just stuff to maker her feel good)but she kinda shuts off or drops a cynical joke or remark (not like bitterly or smuggly, but in a way that makes it look like she's a little uncomfortable). also, she told my best friend a few days after our date that she sees me as a friend (he told me she said this) however, i know she really had fun on the date two weeks ago because we were out for like 6 or 7 hours and we could keep a conversation going the whole time, not an awkward moment. plus, when we hang out on weekends, it's usually for a long time, about 5 or 6 hours at a time. on these occasions we usually hang out with friends and go places, and she usually rides next to me in the front seat (i'm usually driving)

 

so i'm confused about her. help!! sorry for the long post and sorry this is another "does she like me" thread, but thanks for reading and thanks in advance for any input, it's greatly appreciated cause i'm in the dark here.

[Celadon]

Hi wanderer -- oh, I think she might like you. Just because a girl is embarrassed by compliments doesn't mean she doesn't secretly like them. Sounds like she's just got a personality that is more likely to say "yeah right" than, "oooh, thanks!"

 

Go ahead and ask her out again, but keep it light and friendly. Nothing mushy, since she doesn't feel comfortable with that. Girls love to be impressed by thoughtfulness, but some like poems and others like other stuff. Like, she might be the type who would snicker at a love song, but really like a funny song. Both would say "I care" - but in different ways.

 

Hey let us know how it goes...

[wanderer]

my school has a valentine's dance coming up in mid february... maybe i should ask her to that? she goes to a different school than me, so i'm not sure if she'd be comfortable with that. or it may be too "formal" an occasion. what do you think?

[Celadon]

Hm...okay, well, I don't know if you went ahead and asked her or not, since you posted a few days ago.

 

If so, what did she say??

 

If not, then my suggestion is to ask her to something less formal, like just see if she wants to hang out again. It doesn't have to be super romantic, just a nice time - dinner, movies, bowling, music or whatever there is to do in your city/town. Think of this as getting to know each other better, without everybody else around.

 

Don't wait too long, though! The time to ask her is now.

[wanderer]

it is best to ask her now or wait until like valentine's day? or ask her now, ABOUT valentine's day?

[Celadon]

Oh, I meant just ask her NOW now. For this weekend, or for next weekend (which I guess is Valentine's Day).

 

Just do it, to borrow a slogan from Nike. You don't need an occasion in order to ask her out, is what I'm saying.

 

For example, a guy I know asked me out to dinner tonight. (He asked on Sunday.) We're getting to know each other better. I didn't feel like he needed a big reason. I appreciated the chance to spend time with him one-on-one.

 

Good luck!

[CptKipling]

To cut to the chase:

 

What have you been waiting for? She's been waiting for something from you since after your date. Like Katie said, stop thinking about it so much and just do it. From what I'm reading, your making yourself look like someone who has a complete lack of confidence, which is a very bad idea. You might even be driving her away by "flirting" (complimenting someone isn't actually flirting btw, flirting is joking around, teasing, perhaps touching a little and maybe verging on getting sexual) and then not doing anything about it. I've seen my friends do this before, and it's never ended well. Please, for your own sake, stop it. Generally over complimenting and making compliments too serious at your age will completely remove your mystery and will make you less interesting. Make her want to come to you, don't be the one chasing, because whenever a guy starts chasing like this its almost always chasing her away.

 

I hope you don't think this is an attack, I'm just trying to help you out.