Brokenhart84 Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 So 3 months of NC has passed and I decided to contact my ex. Obviously, I wanted to touch base with him. I sent him a text message stating that I mailed something of his. He appeared to be happy to hear from me. The conversation wasn't long. He asked if I was going to stay at my current job when I move and where I planned on moving to. I told him that I planned on moving further up (which is actually closer to him). Now...out of nowhere he asks "how has the dating scene been for you?". I responded by telling him the truth with the exception of stating anything about our previous relationship. I told him that I haven't focused on it too much. Not because I'm jaded or anything. But because I've been focusing on myself. I told him a few things I've been doing such as swimming. I told him that I'm now stronger, happier and confident. His response was "I'm glad that you are happy. Keep going stronger". Well, I decided to throw the same question back at him. He stated " honestly almost the same I've concentrated on me as well...I had a few dates but nothing that caught my attention at all. So no need for a second look. Been putting my needs first". I responded by stating " Good for you. That is what's important". I then made an inside joke which he replied with laugher. I also sent a text about an exhibit he might be interested. That was the end of the conversation... I am happy that I broke no contact. I feel like I kept it together. I don't feel bad or anything. I believe that it is going to push me to move on. I think about him all the time and I do still have feelings for him. I would say that I was uncomfortable with him asking me about the dating scene. I thought it was weird. I gather from his response that he is disappointed with the dating scene. Not to say, that changes the status of "us". Link to comment
mhowe Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 He asked to make sure the call wasn't about getting g back together. You did fine...now keep the focus on you and your healing and moving forward. Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted April 4, 2015 Author Share Posted April 4, 2015 He asked to make sure the call wasn't about getting g back together. You did fine...now keep the focus on you and your healing and moving forward. It was through text. I honestly don't think that was the reason. He was actually pretty surprised to hear from me. I think it was just random. He wouldn't tell me about his "negative"'dating experience if he was concerned that I was going to try to ask for a second chance. Link to comment
mhowe Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 I am sure he was not expecting to hear from you...it's been months. Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted April 4, 2015 Author Share Posted April 4, 2015 I'll never know what is in my ex mind. What I do know is that he is trying to move on which I was not in denial of since the breakup. I don't think he's getting the result he expected. I just want to get to a point where I move on emotionally from him. I don't think that it will happen unless I decide to push myself to date. However, I know that it is wrong to have feelings for someone else while trying to move on. I don't see how else when I'm already occupying myself with meaningful activities and going to counseling. I honestly don't want him to occupy my mind the next 3 months. Link to comment
shessofly Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 Not sure how long you two were together but I would say three months isn't much time as far as being over it is concerned. Resist all urges to break nc.... I really think this is key to getting over someone. Start practicing redirecting your thoughts away from him. I wasn't ready to start dating until about 11 months after my breakup. The dating scene has been disappointing for me too but I know the time will come when I will meet a good match for me. I was extreme with nc. got off fb, stopped taking peeks at twitter, changed the direction of conversation when people tried to talk about him... Ran into him yesterday at a store close to two years since the breakup and felt nothing. Zero attraction, no hard feelings... Nada. It was great. Give it time, keep doing healthy things to heal. Keep going and you will get through it. Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted April 5, 2015 Author Share Posted April 5, 2015 Thank you. He doesn't have social media which is good. I'm going to stay focused on moving on. Link to comment
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