3 Months later...and I still feel lost

[frida]

Our relationship lasted almost 13 months. We were inseparable. Never fought, laughed a lot, he was my best friend. Day after new years he called me and ended it. At first he didnt know what he wanted, gave me many different excuses and cried.

 

We go to school together, have a class together 3 times a week, and see each other in passing at work.

 

When school started in January I went to him to understand why and it was pointless because he gave me no real reason again, just that he didnt see it working out.

 

In February I decided to go up to him in the cafeteria and tell him that I still loved him, saw my faults and wanted to work it out. But, we were interrupted when his friend came to sit down with him. I left and expected him to contact me later to finish the conversation, but he never did.

 

So I tried to move on. Play it cool at work and class, went no contact, tried to pretend that he just wasn't there.

 

Now things were said in January when we spoke and I tried to figure out why everything had happened...I told him I regretted everything that ever happened between us and I know for sure that it hurt him (he told me when I went to him in February).

 

Its now the end of March and he contacted a friend of mine to get lunch (she asked to get lunch with him in January to see what was up, but he never followed through). At the lunch they talked about very general things until the very end. He asked if I hated him. And she told him to contact me. She said that I was hurt with how he handled everything but I didn't hate him. He said he understood he just didn't know how to handle the situation at the time because he didn't feel the same way. But now he doesn't know how to act because we don't acknowledge each other when we are together. He asked her if he could contact me, whether it was text (which he thought would be weird) or in person. She told him she would talk to me... I said it would be fine and I don't hate him.

 

It sounded like he moved on with his life and made all these new friends. It really hurts to think that he doesn't care. He told her that when we were together that we would always be friends, but I don't know if I can, because I still love him.

 

Please help! Give me insight or suggestion or anything!

(a part of me still wants him, but I know it will never be the same/ he would never come back)

[Brokenhart84]

A lot of us are in the same boat. He's moving on and you have to focus on moving on as well. Making new friends, starting new hobbies. He already knows how you feel. I wouldn't keep discussing that with your friends. Do not remain friends with him. Do not do it. It allows him to heal and move on faster. He chose to walk out of your life. Therefore, he doesn't have the pleasure of being your friend.

 

It really hurts but you have to also "appear" to be happy and moving on.

[imokayreally]

I have been in the same boat. I never got proper closure, either. And I can say that things will get significantly better with time and distance, until you're practically never thinking about him and don't really care anymore why it ended. And you will have relapses where you suddenly feel like everything was perfect and miss him terribly and ruminate over whatever mistakes you think you might have made, but just remember that these are false memories. That you have forgotten the bad and are putting the relationship on a pedestal. That you will meet someone else who you will care for just as deeply (and likely a great deal more) and who cares deeply enough about you to never leave you.

 

Easy enough to say, I know. But almost everybody has been through the same thing, many, many times, and come out stronger and more experienced.

[frida]

I've doing better than when it first happened, I even started seeing a therapist. But out of the blue he contacted my friend and he's been looking at me and lingering after work. I don't understand why. He made it evident that he didn't want to be with me, so why does he care if I hate him? Or ask about me to my friend?

[frida]

So what do I do if he contacts me? I have to see him three times a week

[shessofly]

He probably feels bad for hurting you...don't read too much into it. If he tries to play the lets be friend card tell him you're not ready for it.