Am i being to Stubborn??

[Phoenix_girl]

Hi,

 

I was wondering something. My bf and I are on a break and we have been for sometime now (i'm not sure what to call him so i still refer to him as bf from time to time). Anyway, the break was his idea and at first i hated the idea but i have come to realize that its giving me a chance to work on my own life, etc etc. He said he needed time to fix his life before he got into anything serious (maybe a deeper committment? I dont know) and he has been struggling to find a new job and get his own place, etc etc. I am 21 yrs old and every one keeps telling me not to waste my time waiting for him to come around. But i dont consider myself waiting for anything. i keep my eyes open, but I havent seen anyone that i feel attracted to or compatible with. I consider my bf to be "the one" and feel committed to him. I asked him if he would be upset if i walked away from "us" and he said that he would be, but didnt want to hold me back if its what i wanted to do. We still see each other when we can (its long distance) and talk at least every other day (when im not working 13 hrs a day and sleeping the rest Most of the people around me know how much my relationship with him has meant to me - the good and the bad. My mother is probably the most vocal and it seems that she is against me being with him, even when she has never met him. He hasnt seen or been with anyone else and neither have I.

 

I guess my question is - Am I being stubborn? Are people right when they tell me to give up? I dont feel ready to just move on. I feel that he and i both are growing and maturing into something more, and I want to stick around for a while and see how things develop. I'll admit, i am stubbirn and because of that i like to get what i want...........but am i wrong to try this time???? And if I'm right to following my heart, then how do i get people to stop making me feel so horrible?

[cassiana]

You live apart and he wants a break. Then he says that you shouldn't wait for him. My dear he has dumped you but is too chicken to say. Act accordingly.

[sayer7]

I agree. It's hard to let go but it's better to face the harsh reality... his definition of "break" seems too clearly similar to a "break-UP."

 

I wouldn't call him a bf anymore.

 

Good for you for continuing to better your life outside of that relationship. Continue to do that.

 

I've been in your shoes, but I held on for 8 years... and I wish I'd let go after the first 6 months. And I'm a very stubborn person, too, but after ahwhile you realize that maybe you don't need HIM in particular, but maybe there are certain qualities that he had that you liked and kept you hanging on. The positive side is that there's other guys out there that have the same qualities... it's just a matter of finding them.

 

Keep your eyes peeled and be patient with yourself.

[ShuShu Fontana]

You don't consider yourself waiting for anything yet you're committed to him. You don't find yourself attracted or compatible with anyone else because you feel like he is "the one".

He's not seeing anyone that he's *telling* you about.

If you want to be with this guy I would tell him it's all or nothing. Either start dating you now or close you forever. Somtimes people need a kick in the head. He's not going to do anything if he thinks he can call you up anc have you back whenever he wants.

I personally would drop him and find someone who lives where you live. LD relationships are crap. He sounds a lot like my ex with his stringing you along while he's probably already made his decision. We had officially broken up but he would call me all the time and hang out and TELL me it was over but never really acted like it was...unless his new LD girlfriend was in town. I thought he was "the one", too. I agree that it sounds like he's just too chicken to lay it on the line. move on and find someone better and closer.