Need opinions...

[Redabc123]

Hey everyone,

 

I might be overthinking these situations:

 

Guy #1 I went out on a coffee date last Saturday, nice guy, good conversation, good chemistry. He asked me out on a 2nd date yesterday for Saturday. He said he would find something fun for us to do. He texted me earlier today and said everything was booked up and wanted to know if I wanted come over for a romantic dinner and wine. I just met him and although I want to hang out again I don't want to give off the wrong impression by hanging out his house. Is it to early to go over? If so how can I let him know this without sounding bad.

 

Guy #2 Went on 1st date last Friday...really nice guy great connection BUT he has 3 kids has been divorced twice and has had a vasectomy ( TMI lol) We went on our 2nd date last night, I decided to go just to see if we had chemistry and we do we also shared our first kiss but the baggage that he has is kind of scaring me. Are these red flags?

 

Thanks in advance

[and so it goes]

Guy #1 Dodge the romantic dinner. Way too soon, I usually try to let the woman make that suggestion - (I'm a guy)

 

Guy #2 Maybe, maybe. I'm guessing you are dating men age 30+? If that is the case, then you are going to seeing guy baggage.

 

 

Guy #3? Find him

[Mischa234]

Guy 1 wants to get in your pants, would decline and make him work very hard to turn things around. He has already planted the seeds of disrespect, not worth your time. I am usually straight up and say "I'm not comfortable with that", and take their reaction and subsequent behaviour as a mark of their intentions/character.

 

Guy 2 has 2 failed marriages and won't have any more kids... what exactly are you looking for in a partner? Because this one is not going to offer you a safe, secure marriage and kids. Being a stepparent is really hard too (speaking from personal experience). If you're already uncomfortable with his baggage, you're in for a shocker. Split asap.

 

Guy 3 sounds like a winner.

[IAmFCA]

Guy #1 - no, no date at his house. OK to counter with, since restaurants are full, how about we do something different, like go bowling (or play tennis, or whatever)...

 

Guy #2 - yes, those are red flags. i went on a few dates with a super nice guy with similar stats. I didn't want to be biased against him for having two marriages; it took me a few dates, but I did figure it out. He was all into me, and wanted me to be all into him. The idea that I needed time to get to know him and trust him seemed odd, and that made me trust him less. People who couple up too quickly often do it because they need to, not because the person is so compelling to them. Anyway, with two marriages, I wonder if a person has done the work to break the pattern, or is just repeat repeat repeat.

 

Between these two, I pick Guy #1, IF he accepts a counter offer.

 

Be prepared to dump them both by date #3, if not before.

[suhbliem]

with all the fish out there why settle with all that baggage. take a hike I say. married twice? he's a charmer but once you have him he's hell apparently.

[Hazyillusions]

^Not necessarily. If he happened to marry two women that cheated, then he can't help but divorce. Sometimes life doesn't work out that well you know. But I'd probably skip the baggage and find a guy 3. First guy doesn't sound like quality either.

[Mischa234]

^Not necessarily. If he happened to marry two women that cheated, then he can't help but divorce. Sometimes life doesn't work out that well you know. But I'd probably skip the baggage and find a guy 3. First guy doesn't sound like quality either.

 

A guy that gets cheated on by two different women normally has some serious issues himself, regardless. That's a highly, highly unlikely "coincidence".