Buco24 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Hi guys! A few of you may remember my story. Me and my ex bf broke up back in September. First went totally nc (I should add we work together), then started talking again and then texted a lot and had sex a few times. At the end of 2014 I told him I never wanna see him again and won't wish happy new year and so on, I didn't. But on the 5th we started working again and a few days later we talked. We said we'll try the next few weeks, date, got to the movies, cook together, workout and so on.. We did that the last few weeks but it always didn't feel right. Something was missing, I can't tell what. I didn't really feel comfortable. I wrote him an email today, we didn't see each other at work. It was a nice email saying we can still have our own freedom and friends although we're in a relationship and so on. He said that he can see how much I changed and so on. And then he said maybe we should talk tonight about my email and the last few weeks. I agreed. But now I'm so scared. I have a bad feeling that he'll say I can see how much you changed but I don't love you anymore I feel like I just wanna cry. It feels like I'm going to be hanged soon. I know we have to talk and decide how it will go on. There are only two options, we'll be back together or it's over once and for all! I know it can't go on like this but why am I so scared?! Maybe it's only because I can sense how it's going to end No matter what I still have a tiny little bit of hope left inside myself although I know there's nothing left to hope. Please pray and keep your fingers crossed for me! I will write what happened after I talked to him. Won't keep my hopes high though Hugging all of you! x Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
Mari Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 There are more than the two options you listed. You could just have a nice evening without either happening. How about you go to this thing without thinking the fate of the world depends on this one meeting and just have a good time? Stop thinking about whether you're going to get back together or not. He could dump you tonight, claim he will never ever be with you, then get into an accident on the way home and end up in a wheelchair. He would lose most options with other girls and then hassle you and say "I wish I could just be with you, please take me back". Or, he could say he really wants to be with you and no one else, and profess his undying love for you. And you'd be so happy that he will never be with anyone else but you and that you're back together. And then the next day he might get hit by a bus and you'll never see him again. So yeah, you can't really predict it. Just go, be yourself, enjoy the time you get with him while he's still alive and you have something with him. Link to comment
greta96 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 You're scared because you are putting all the power in his hands. You both have a say in this, why is he the only one who gets to decide what happens? You talk as if your whole life and happiness are hanging on what he has to say, and that couldn't be farther from the truth, not to mention unhealthy. Nobody should have this kind of power over you. If he decides to part ways, you will survive and love again. You will meet guys who will give you a nice, steady relationship, instead of this rollercoaster he's given you. You'll be okay. You wish him luck and under no circumstances do you agree to being "friends" or FWB. Plus, chances are what he has to tell you is good! Why assume the worst? Maybe he wants to tell you that the changes he's noticed are good, and that he wants to take things to a deeper level. Good luck and keep us posted! Link to comment
Buco24 Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 Ohh thank you so much guys!! Your words made me feel a lot better!! You're totally right! I will see what happens, I can't change it anyway. I'll definitely keep you posted! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
Dcgent Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 What do you want to happen with this relationship and how do you see your future? It sounds like it has been on and off again and it hasn't be fulfilling. I think you need to take in to account how YOU want your future to be. You need to trust your gut and accept the future by making your future. What do you envision your future to be regardless if it is with him or not? i.e. do you want marriage, kids, trust, respect, love, security, etc? One you establish that...can you see that with him? Will he provide the comforts that you seek in life and the challenges you'd like to face to grow? Do you think he can provide the support you will need? Link to comment
Buco24 Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 Yes it's been on and off. I always thought we were meant for each other! And I always believed in us. I wanted him to be the one! I want marriage, kids, trust and love, yes! But I don't believe that he'll be able to give me that Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
Buco24 Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 So we talked and it's over! He said that we got along pretty well the last few weeks. That he could see the changes and he believed them that they were real. But he said he didn't get his feelings for me back. He likes me a lot as a person but doesn't love me. That he can't give me what I want from him. I'm pretty devastated right now and can't really think straight. I feel like I lost my best friend!! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
Shane Falco Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Sorry. I saw this coming from your other thread, but it still sucks. Hopefully now you'll accept that it's over and start to move forward instead of trying to trying to sell him on being with you. If he wants to be with you, you won't need to sell him. And please don't try to sleep with him again to get him to reconsider. Link to comment
Mari Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 So we talked and it's over! He said that we got along pretty well the last few weeks. That he could see the changes and he believed them that they were real. But he said he didn't get his feelings for me back. He likes me a lot as a person but doesn't love me. That he can't give me what I want from him. I'm pretty devastated right now and can't really think straight. I feel like I lost my best friend!! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Sorry to hear that happened to you. In other good news, looks like you don't have a kid with him before he figured out he likes you a lot as a person and just doesn't love you. You may now start looking for someone that loves you more than just a person and stop wasting your time on this guy. He's a dead end that's not going to go anywhere. Relationships tend to wind down after the honeymoon phase. If you meet a guy that's already not sure about you early within the first couple years in the relationship then things aren't going to get a whole lot better without either person changing. Link to comment
Buco24 Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 Sorry. I saw this coming from your other thread, but it still sucks. Hopefully now you'll accept that it's over and start to move forward instead of trying to trying to sell him on being with you. If he wants to be with you, you won't need to sell him. And please don't try to sleep with him again to get him to reconsider. There's no way I'm gonna try anything at all. It's over! It's hard to accept but he clearly said he doesn't love me and that hurt enough. You can't force someone to love you! I had hopes because we were so much in love beforehand but his feeling didn't come back. We didn't argue the last weeks, everything was fine but the feelings didn't come back and that was the most important part. I know I need to let go! Not sure how but I have to. Thanks for your words! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
Buco24 Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 Sorry to hear that happened to you. In other good news, looks like you don't have a kid with him before he figured out he likes you a lot as a person and just doesn't love you. You may now start looking for someone that loves you more than just a person and stop wasting your time on this guy. He's a dead end that's not going to go anywhere. Relationships tend to wind down after the honeymoon phase. If you meet a guy that's already not sure about you early within the first couple years in the relationship then things aren't going to get a whole lot better without either person changing. You're totally right! I need to be happy that it's over now before having some serious things going. I did everything I could for this relationship, everything was fine at the end but the most important part, the feelings weren't there, that's what hurts so much! But now I know I wasn't the one who made mistakes. We just weren't meant to be. I'm so scared of the future though. Turning 34 in May. I can't see myself finding someone serious to plan marriage and having kids. I hope future holds something nice for me and that I get to see and live it soon! Thanks for your words! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 I feel that way right now as well. I just turned 31 and it's a bit scary. But I have faith that I'll be just fine. Focus on bettering yourself. Link to comment
Buco24 Posted February 19, 2015 Author Share Posted February 19, 2015 @brokenhart84 I'm sorry for you, I know how you feel! But we have to be stronger for ourselves! I don't know your story but I wish you luck and all the best!! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
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