can i forgive my ex?

[Hulahoops88]

After weeks of NC and me crying and longing for my ex, she has finally come around to the idea of us being together. There is one problem though:

 

Now that its come to the time of us re-kindling, I find that I cant forgive her for some things. When we broke up she was with another guy and lied about it. I feel now my trust has been betrayed and dont know what to believe now or not anymore. She doesnt seem like the lying type. I know we were apart when it happened but what lie about it?

 

She also gave me the total cold shoulder for the longest time. I was blocked on FB and never heard from her until I initiated contact. Now that she sees me doing well etc - does she only want what she cant have i.e dumpers remorse or does she still have feelings for me??

 

I am so confused because for the longest time i wanted her, now i am worried that I should just forget about it?

[ThatwasThen]

Why did you break up the first time?

[overthemoon86]

Hi there, can you provide some more details about your relationship and break up?

[Lola1104]

luck you im waiting for my ex to come around (even though I shouldn't be) & it's the worst. I totally understand how you feel though... but why did you guys break up?? She needs to prove to you that she really wants the relationship.

[Hulahoops88]

Hey guys. We broke up in August. I initiated the break up as I thought i was moving country and could not give the promise of a future like my ex wanted. A fear of commitment also wedged in on my side. In november we tried getting back together but the fact she slept with someone played on my mind. I brought it up and we fought hard. The last few weeks we have patched things up and she wants to go again. I know she loves me and i cant get angry she was with someone else but it still plays on me. She tried to lie about it to protect my feelings but I just lying whether its for good reasons or not. I am just wondering is it normal for someone to be resentful when their ex sleeps with someone else when on a break?

[Hulahoops88]

I feel your pain mate. I went through a long wait before I eventually got on good terms with my ex. Any questions on how i did it then i am happy to help?! good luck

[overthemoon86]

It really depends on if YOU are okay with it. Everyone is different. You seem to be battling with it and so my assumption is that you aren't okay with it. And if that's th case then you will be never be able to have a trustworthy and healthy relationship because you will constantly be battling over what she did while you are broken up. Things to think about.

[Betteralready]

The title question on this post is not for anyone else to answer- only you can!

 

Is it humanly possible to forgive the person you love for having sex with someone else? YES.

Is it possible for YOU to do it? I don't know.

 

Is the fact that she slept with someone else, while you were NOT together, enough to throw away the potential for a lifetime together with this person?

It really might be too much for you to forgive. If so, walk away. If not, start getting over it.

 

The bigger problem seems to be that she lied, and I understand your concern there, because you need to be able to trust your significant other. Does she have a habit of lying? Or has she shown herself to be trustworthy for the most part? It could have just been a mistake, and it seems like you've made mistakes too.