Dixoadam Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 So 2 weeks ago my girlfriend of 5 1/2 years broke up with me because she wanted to find what was best for her. When she broke up with me she told me really loved me and asked for a hug before I left. I personally suffer from General anxiety disorder so sometimes nothing is good enough for me because I always think the worse. I would use her as a crutch and I can see how I pushed her away. Since then I have talked to her a little bit nothing to crazy. I told her that I was going to talk to a counselor to help with my anxiety and she told me that she was really happy to hear that. I then told her that I was going to become the old me who was happy and positive about moving forward and she said I really hope so. I then told her that maybe we could reconnect in the near future and she said yes. I havnt talked to her for about 4 days now and my friend told me that she asked him If I was doing alright. Is she still wanting to be with me? I don't want fee hope. I deleted my Facebook and deleted some pictures because I want to move on but if she wanted to be with me I would love to work on it. What should I do? I also left a letter on the back of a picture of us in jamaica and she has not acknowledged that she read it. Any help would be great. Thanks a lot. Link to comment
SophieGrace Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 I don't think she wants to be with you. She was just inquiring about your well-being which is normal if you have known each other for almost 6 years. Link to comment
AintEasy Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 You have done pretty well so far and are making the right steps in a positive future for yourself. Now is not the time to ask if she is still wanting to be with you. I know its really hard to grasp right now but you need to either keep no contact with her, or perhaps in this situation very limited. In the mean time make sure any and all changes are for yourself. They need to be for your own well being for them to stick. Perhaps once she sees that you truly mean it she MAY come back, but that is never a guarantee. The important step is to learn from these mistakes and change for the better. That is all you can do for now. Stay strong and whatever you do, do not beg her back. It will only push her away. Link to comment
Dixoadam Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 I appreciate the answers. I do agree that she may never want to come back and that I have to work in myself. After 6 years what's a normal time frame for me to feel low and upset about losing her? I think about her all the time and I don't want to. I keep thinking that she jus wants me to change because we had such great times together and I believe that she really just wants the old me back. What should I do? Link to comment
Dixoadam Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 I also recently deleted all pictures from my phone and deactivated my Facebook for now to try and help myself. I miss her a lot and wish that we could be back together cause I know I can do better but that's life I guess. But then again whatever happened to fighting for what you want? I know people who are back with their ex and they fought for it. I also believe if it's meant to be then it will be. Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 You don't "fight for what you want" if the other person doesn't want you. Link to comment
Dixoadam Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 So if she is just waiting for me to change I just show that and let her come to me? Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Change is something you do...not something you talk about. Link to comment
Dixoadam Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 No I know that but if I change myself and maybe in the future we meet up for coffee and she can see it's the old me or a better me then you never know right. I know I have to fix myself. I will do that. I just love her a lot that's all. Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 If you change? I would focus on the changing first and let the future unfold by itself. She left because she wanted to focus on herself. Link to comment
palmer14 Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Similar thing happened to me. She ended it because she was more focused on herself and the things she was doing and couldn't make the time for the relationship, and we started to grow apart. We weren't together for as nearly as long as you, but I do feel better about it everyday. Move on as best as you can, and expect that she is never going to want to come back, and maybe something will change for her. I know what you mean by using her as a crutch, she became the only thing I really cared about, and I became kind of dependent on her and it pushed her away. Try finding more things that make you happy besides her Link to comment
stronger1 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 This is what I want you to do. Think very hard on the things you didn't like about the relationship. Think hard on this because sometimes during the hurt process we block the bad and only think of the good times. Make a list on the things you need to change with yourself and start working on yourself day by day keep yourself busy with your goals. And everyday when you wake up go look in the mirror and tell yourself it's her lost. You are awesome!! Link to comment
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