Boyfriend wants to start having sex

[Esprit]

Alright so, I was over at my boyfriend's place last night and while we were lying in bed he brought up having sex. Not that we should have it right then and there, but talk about having it soon.

 

At the time, I was very comfortable with idea of giving him my virginity. We talked about birth control and he told me he'd be happy to take me to a clinic etc etc. And I was thinking "Great - I'm ready for this".

 

The thing is, now whenever I think about it...I get a little nervous. This is a big thing for me and I really want to know I'm ready. I absoltely love my boyfriend. He means the world to me. But still, I'm nervous. We've had oral sex a few times, and its been great. Having sex has been on my mind...but I guess I just assumed I wouldnt have to really think about it for a while...

 

A small part of this nervousness is to do with me being really self-conscious. Slowly, I've been getting over this...

 

Anyway, I'm going to go check out a birth control clinic sometime this week...if anybody has any suggestions or tips they'd be greatly appreciated. I just feel unsure...Anybody have anything to say?

Thanks.

[Ated]

How long have u been together? And how old are you both??

 

It's normal to be nervous of course... seeing as though it will be your first time. It is a big deal... The first time you will have sex will not be good. BUt it does get better. It might also hurt...

[BrandonBo]

if your ready he should be ready he should wait as long as u need till you are comfortable with it but be careful you should tell him how u feel and stuff he should have no problem with how you feel

[Esprit]

We've been together for 2 months. Usually I'd think that's a bit early to start having sex...but we love eachother tremendously and it just feels right.

 

sonic101 - What exactly do you mean by "the right steps"?

And will there always be blood? I'm pretty sure I've long since broken my hymen, but can't be too sure.

 

Thanks again

[ayekasong]

There is not always blood. I did not bleed when I lost my virginity. Actually it didn't hurt that much either, it was just a little uncomfortable.

[Esprit]

Heh, not at all!

 

As far as the pill goes, is it the end of the world if you forget to take it?

 

Thanks again everyone

[RayKay]

Heh, not at all!

 

As far as the pill goes, is it the end of the world if you forget to take it?

 

Thanks again everyone

 

Well, the pill is only 99% effective if you take it properly...meaning everyday at about the same time, use a backup method if you miss it, are on antibiotics, in your first month using it, etc.

 

If you are not taking it properly, the effectiveness drops accordingly. Missing a pill can lead to pregnancy.

[Esprit]

So...to be safe, should I wait until I've been on the pill for at least a month?

 

Thanks guys!

[Meow18]

I think that its wise to still use condoms. I mean, its better to be safe than sorry. If you are worried that you might miss a pill, then it would definantly be wise to use condoms. If you miss a pill, I think that its recommended that you use condoms for at least the next couple of days. Also, I know many people who have gotten pregnant from just being on the pill and not using a condom, its not rare. So I would recommend using condoms as well.

 

I am on the pill and I really like it. It has made my period a lot more easy to deal with and I know exactly when its coming and when it will end. So I think that its a great thing.

 

My first time wasn't bad at all. We took it slow. I didn't experience pain or blood. I know that many girls do feel a lot of pain, so much that they want to stop and also there might be blood. If you are worried that their could be blood, maybe put a towel under you so that you don't mess up your sheets or something. I think the major thing is to just take it slow and relax. The more nervous you are, the more painful it might be.

 

I'm not going to say whether your ready to have sex or not. Only you can say when you are truly ready. I think though that a good sign of knowing is not having any doubts about being ready. I mean, being nervous about the first time is normal and thats fine. However, questioning whether you are ready or if this guy is the one you want to lose your virginity to is a sign of not being ready.

 

It sounds like you love your boyfriend a lot and that he has a lot of respect for you. I think that sex is best when its experienced with someone you love (of course I've only had sex with my boyfriend, so I wouldn't know about what sex is like without the love). However, I the thing I really like about sex is how close I feel with my boyfriend, so I couldn't imagine just having sex with someone I didn't really love. I think that if you wait until you are with someone you truly love, then you won't regret it.

[Esprit]

Thanks for the reply, maggie.

 

Yes, I really think I'm ready. And yes, I love him very much and I know I mean so much to him...he's definitely the one I want to do this with.

 

Yes, I definitely plan on using condoms as well. I was just wondering how safe I'd be (with a condom) for the first month or so on birth control?

 

 

Thanks again!

[Meow18]

I think the pill starts working after about a month of being on it. Of course it could only be a couple weeks, I don't really remember. I do remember though that it doesn't start working right away.

 

Condoms are ok to use alone, without any other protection. You just have to remember to use it correctly. You should be fine with just condoms. However, whenever you do any kind of sexual activity, there will always be a chance of pregnancy no matter how many different kinds of protection you use.