No Contact - what if she contacts me?

[troutboy]

Been a few days now, I'm a bit hurt by my partner of 1 year calling it off with me, saying she didn't feel the same way about me as I did her and I was smothering her. Although I know she really does care about me alot. The problem is we work in the same building so I do see her on the odd occasion - how do I handle this? Also she has sent a few text messages to my phone, just friendly stuff, but I know it won't be long before she starts calling me - I have'nt replied as yet. I miss her to bits, but should I totally ignore her efforts?

[SteveNaive]

Hey troutboy...

 

the no contact rule only does serve one purpose: It enables you to heal while avoiding further painful experiences. Some people see it as a tactic for getting someone back, however, I somehow do not believe in that sort of "psychological warfare"...

 

It really depends on where you want things to go... I would not completely ignore her contact attempts if you would like things to be friendly between the two of you. I would not assume that she is trying to get back with you just because she is contacting you. It may be she really does care about you, but maybe she cannot see herself in a relationship with you...

 

However, should you really bump into her at work, just try to be friendly, greet her... I think it would be plain silly just to ignore someone you know so well, don't you think? If she really should call and you would like to answer the phone do so. Try to be friendly, yet save your distance... Maybe you will be able to deal with each other as friends. Maybe even she will start to realise that she is missing you more than she thought she would...however, no guarantee for that on, ok?! I have experienced in a couple of occasions that women try to be friendly on a break up, in order to make it easier not only for their partner, but also for themselves. It's just not so hard to walk away, if you know that your ex is doing allright...

 

Whichever way you decide, let us know how things develop...