Ex got engaged and getting married in a couple of weeks

[gardnergirl2]

I do know how you feel. It took me three years and counseling. I was thrown in to a low grade depression. Mine moved in with his new one a mere month after we broke up. She was my total opposite, and a felon drug addict who wouldn't work ( just telling the truth). He didn't end up engaged and now can't get rid of her. Still, I know the gravity of your pain. The whole experience changed me, sadly. I was a sweet, loving girl to him. I still am, but I have hardened my shell a lot. People throw around the "L" word and they don't really mean it.

In some ways, I have changed for the better. Nobody will ever have the power to hurt me like that again ( at least I hope not!).

I wanted to second the idea about getting counseling. It has helped me so much. I also started a mild anti depressant. I have been told that this event was the trigger and had it not been this, it would have been triggered some other way.

My faith in God, my friends, and time have gotten me through it. Now I can truly say that since he didn't really love me like he claimed, I am glad he went on. I deserve a whole lot better.....

[Ms Darcy]

I agree with batya and shessofly. A commitment between two people, whether via marriage or some other way, has to be defined by those two. So perhaps in the future you can communicate with your partner better about your relationship expectations. For this ex, it's over and done. So perhaps you can get some therapy to help you move on.

[scorpio4567]

I don't think you ever tried to fully let go. The fact that you have been in touch through a mutual friend tells me a part of you was always keeping hope. I lived with an ex gf for 7 years, said she didn't want kids. We broke up, she met someone and had a kid within a year. However, I did not feel any pain, it did not bother me. Why? Because I made it clear to all my friends I did not want to hear a thing about her, Nothing! Therefore, I didn't find this out until 3 years later. By then I was already over it. Point is, make it clear to your friend or friends to never bring her up. Get rid of anything in your house that reminds you of her. Pretend she's dead. It's hard to imagine making though but you will.

 

It is true that I haven't let her go. Not because I wanted to but because I wasn't able to. I don't know why I fail in letting her go. As far as keeping tabs on her, I haven't. I kicked her and her friends out of my life, social media accounts, chat groups etc. Although, no matter what I do, some of the information regarding her keeps popping into my life.

 

She got married last week. Its over. Its done. I guess I have to learn to live with some unanswered questions.

[Ms Darcy]

If you have the attitude that you have to live with unanswered questions, that to me suggests you are still holding on to something. The best route is to move towards acceptance and completely letting go.