idontgetit Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 so, i've recently gotten back into the dating scene, broken heart has healed, and i've started dating this guy. we've agreed to take it really slowly, and it's been about two months since we've been talking (we're also long distance). anyhow, so i stayed the weekend at his house, and although we weren't intimate, he did take off his shirt... to reveal the absolute hairiest man alive and he's pretty out of shape.. the trouble is that he's an absolute sweetheart and seems perfect in all other respects but i'm not that attracted to him without his shirt...i know it's terrible to say, and completely superficial. i could probably get over the out of shape part, but the hair. he did mention that he was thinking about getting it lasered but since this was the first time i saw him, i didn't really say anything because i didn't want to hurt his ego. any advice how i can address this without coming off terribly?? Link to comment
SaSaRai Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 dunon... but i really wish i wouldnt have read this post after that day that i've had....... Link to comment
PrincessLinzay Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 I feel you girl, hairy backs aren't so hot. Try as I may, I can't seem to think of a way to bring it up without hurting his feelings or making him insecure. The only way I could really think of would involve him bringing it up first. At that point, you could tell him how sexy you think a smooth body is. Don't really have any other great advice, unless you tell him you're going to get your legs waxed and ask if he would like to join you? Link to comment
idontgetit Posted January 12, 2005 Author Share Posted January 12, 2005 hey P.L. Funny, i thought about that whole waxing the leg thing... as for him bringing him up, I wonder if i missed my window of opportunity when he mentioned getting it lasered... should i have agreed then? that would have killed the evening. Link to comment
dreamweaverdude Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 Well again I follow Princess in a reply. I can empathize with your man. I have hairy arm, hairy back, hairy everything.... I mean its rpetty bad even when your butt has more hair on it than some parts of your head... LOL... but like others... you can ask him to shave it.. I have a male friend who's back look like a fricking gorilla... no joke... THICK. and he has it shaved periodcally..... I would suggest mentioning it to him and suggest ways to reduce the hair if it really bothers you. Tell smooth skin is a turn on and he'll be shaving everything he can. Link to comment
RayKay Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 Ooh yeah, I dated someone once for a few dates with a very hairy back, so know how you feel....just not attractive..and we are not talking "sort of hairy" as that is fine (I like some hair on a guys chest!) but mega hairy. Well, he is obviously sensitive and aware of it if he suggested lasering. So, I would ask him if he knew about lasering as you thought you might like to get your legs done, etc....broach the subject that way. Or once you get intimate (if you do) offer to shave it all off, if he does the same for you (well, back at least!). Or I know for me, my skin would not have liked the rubbing as I am sensitive, tell him that. Good luck, I was able to avoid the issue by having the relationship end anyway (not because of hairiness though!). Link to comment
PrincessLinzay Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 Well, if it's a difference between you staying with him or leaving because there's no physical attraction, Im sure he would have appreciated your honesty. Im pretty sure he already has some insecurities with it since he brought it up. As you get to know him better, you might be able to bring it up more easily. But I can understand it being a mood killer. You could pretend you got your hand stuck in the back hair? That might be a hint.....lol....Im so just kidding, but the mental picture was funny. Most hairy guys know they're hairy, but are too lazy to shave or maintain it. I personally have a friend who calls himself the yeti and jokes around about it. One of my two brothers is hairy, but he's vain so he shaves it (still sensitive about it though). It's a tough call, but if it means staying or going, I would try to gently bring it up I think. Link to comment
caramellabacix Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 yeah, i tried asking a guy why he didn't shave once, and i sort of got yelled at in response.: "BECAUSE IT'S JUST NOT A TOP PRIORITY!" Oh, wow, jeez...I never tried asking him a question again. Link to comment
idontgetit Posted January 12, 2005 Author Share Posted January 12, 2005 well, i have had one suggestion from a friend who thought i should nair him as it would be erotic?? i must have missed something on that one- chemical smell coupled with hair everywhere?. shaving a face fine, shaving a back... agh.. as for the rest of him, i'm completely fine with a hairy chest, but the weird thing is he has almost no hair on his arms and has a bowling ball for a head!! it's unbelievable. i just haven't got a clue how to broach a subject like that. i definitely won't dump him for such a small thing, but maybe i can figure out a way to sedate him and wax him in his sleep... Link to comment
idontgetit Posted January 12, 2005 Author Share Posted January 12, 2005 P.L. that visual of getting my hand stuck is TOO funny... and so sad.... maybe if I wear a ring that catches. ouch. Link to comment
bzborow1 Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 I agree with all your posts, and think you should take all those steps. But if there's a future guy, perhaps before you get involved with him you stipulate ahead of time you have a pet-peeve against hairy backs? You said it was an online thing so if you have a profile you could put it in light-heartedly. Link to comment
PrincessLinzay Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 Heh, I could think up all kinds of funny hair scenarios! Oooooh, idea. What if you strategically place gum in the bed where his back will be so it gets stuck. Then he'll have to cut it, and since it would look silly to have a bald spot, he would shave! Heh. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 He is a grown man, I doubt you would hurt his feelings if you had a mature conversation about body hair. Probably the best option if he has thick dark hair is electrolosis, it has the best results and will probably cost a total of $500 for a lifetime of being hair free. As long as you can keep the conversation from turning into being demeaning or negative then it seems that it will have a positive result. Link to comment
idontgetit Posted January 12, 2005 Author Share Posted January 12, 2005 day walker- really? that's not one of those sensitive guy things, sort of like the balding issue? honestly,how the heck would you even open that kind of question? yes, we're all adults both adults, but i don't know him well enough to know what his sensitivity threshold is like. P.L- you're so bad!!!! that's too funny though. hmmm- don't know about the gum bit. knowing me, i'd accidentally be the one who ended up in it first...no, keep thinking!! bzborrow- maybe i wasn't clear. it never started as an online thing. we met at a work conference, but live in diff cities at the moment so can only see each other on the weekends. obviously with a suit on, i had no clue what i had in store!! Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 the guy obviously knows that he is hairy he even has suggested things to remedy the problem. The topic can come up over time at a certain point im sure he is gonna ask a question that will lead in that direction or if the conversation is headed in that direction then you bring it up. If this issue is that important to you then you have to bring it up otherwise nothing is going to be done about it, what you say might harsh but its true. Link to comment
youngin Posted January 12, 2005 Share Posted January 12, 2005 wow is hair really that much of a turn-off fer u girls? Does that include ALL non-facial/head hair? Link to comment
idontgetit Posted January 12, 2005 Author Share Posted January 12, 2005 youngin- no, not at all.. plus it depends on the girl. i like guys that look and feel like guys so some hair, but this guy looks like chewbacka... hairy back... i mean more than most guys have on their chest.. have you ever seen robin williams in a tshirt? multiply that by 2 for the back. if he was equally hairy on only his chest, or just had a few tufts on his back, fine, most guys do...this is a rug Link to comment
Mun Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 My friend Nairs her fiance's back... so she endures a few minutes of hair everywhere ( in the shower) but loves the end result. Plus he is really vain...so he loves the "attention" I too suggest that you tell him your skin is sensitive ...make it sound like it's your problem and not his and he might be more co-operative. Link to comment
Mike_Wazowski Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 Well...he did mention that he may get it lasered....Why don't you do a little research yourself on the subject, find a few salons in your area and then present the info to him....It's a subtle hint! Peace! Link to comment
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