Saw him for the first time in a month...

[SilverManic]

A few weeks ago he answered the phone when I called a friend. Now he was on his lunch break when I came out of the estate agents. I said hello in a happy and polite voice and he said 'yo' as if to say 'what the hell are you doing here' He said he'd try harder and that we would be friends, but since the argument about why we wern't being friends he hasn't tried at all. I did try to keep in contact but didn't want to be obsessive so I stoped calling, stopped going into his work (even though it's the only book shop in the area and I read ALOT), stopped going to see my friends that live in the same house as him.

We still haven't given eachother our stuff back and I still like him but I'm over the relationship. I just want to be his friend and he won't even phone me, I tried phoning him a few times but since we split up the friendship isn't there with him. I'm begging to think he hates me and that we can never be friends. What do you guys think? Is there a chance we can still be friends and should I speak to him about it?

Thanks,

~S.

[fmfisdead]

I think at this point a friendship is pretty much out of the picture. Its hard to be friends after a relationship but it is a possibility down the road. And even then, I don't think its a good idea to be like best friends just acquantinces most likely.

I don't think he hates you at all, its just hard to be friends at this point, and by you wanting to be friends he most likely views it as you trying to get him back. And are you sure that your not? I think at this time you should just let him be and if he really wanted to pursue a friendship he would call you back and greet you nicer than just "yo." Well I hope I helped in some way, if not pm me and we can talk more.

[TrueHeart]

Perhaps you just need to give him some more time. Usually immediately after a break up (which ranges between days to a few weeks), things are still tender inside and out. If you are sure that the relationship is over, then stay confident in it. Unfortunately, not all ended relationships convert to a friendship very easily, or atleast in a small short amount of time... so give yourself some more time. I'd get your stuff back though, right away-- first thing. If he doesn't want to be friends and you do, you cannot force the issue. Time will only tell how strong your friendship is for eachother, but don't hold your breath.

 

I don't believe he "hates" you persay, but I do believe he's dealing with his issues a little differently than you are. A lot has to do with why you originally ended the relationship to begin with.. Give him time, and yourself.. If the friendship is meant to happen, it will... I've attempted to be friends with both my ex's, and it proved to be more of a hassle, stressful and emotional than it all was worth..

[SilverManic]

Your probably right. He was the one that ended it and said he wanted to be friends though which is why I'm so confused with his lack of effot to be friends with me. I also sort of think it just may have been an excuse so he could feel better about dumping me. I'm not compleatly over him but I'm over him enough to say 'I can be happy with out him, I can move on, I will be happy' it just gets a bit hard sometimes. Especially with the N/C thats going on between us.

Thanks,

~S.

[TrueHeart]

You'll do just fine, just remember that strength comes from believing in yourself! Keep your head up... it won't be this way forever, though it seems to be that sometimes.

[clodhopper]

my ex said the same thing when we broke up 4 months ago - that he wanted to stay friends. we were in different cities though so it was very difficult to actually be friends.

 

now we're back in the same city and the second time i saw him we had a talk and he said he really cared about me and wanted to get our friendship back and see where that takes us. i'm frustrated though cuz i feel like hes not putting in any effort in... maybe its just too soon, i dunno.. maybe i just have to give it some time (since that talk was only a week ago) but sometimes i feel like he doesnt care, even though he really seemed to care when we talked...

 

i'm not sure what to do, if u have any thoughts... but yeah just know you're not alone. give it some time. if the friendship is meant to be, i guess it will happen