Why can't I get over this feeling?

[Amp33]

Before I had my last relationship I was never into dating. I had a steady FWB for about two years, and then I moved. I was 19 living in a new city starting over, didn't know anybody. And eventually made a few friends and started looking more into dating, and I met this one guy. We hit it off so well. I told my friend after a couple days "this is the guy I'm going to marry." We started dating, moved in together, got a dog together, and we got engaged. And shortly after getting engaged our relationship did a 180 and we broke up. Tried to reconcile twice and it didn't work out. I do still have feelings for him and I'm pretty sure he does for me, but I know that it was a very toxic relationship, and I deserved better..

 

Now, a year later I have very much come to terms with the fact we do not belong together and I am much better off. It seems though when I meet guys I have an incredible connection with, I become afraid of how much they like me.. Once they start to treat me like how I feel I deesve to be treated, I get scared and want to abandon ship. Every time. Why do I do this? It was never like this when I met my ex, I wanted nothing more than for him to be mine when we first met.

 

Why am I becoming so afraid?

[m444]

you are afraid because you are hurt. you experienced it all before, and you SAW what can it turn into. and you are afraid it might happen again. it's perfectly natural.

 

the year has passed and I would suggest for you to try baby steps in relationships. cure for that kind of fear are time and new experiences where you take things slow and follow your instincts. it is also possible that it scares you when the guy is too much into it. so maybe you need someone who is more relaxed in that area.

 

also, the thing you had with your guy was special. it was easy and it was good, and it was the first. we hurt, and we grow, and we learn how to make bad experiences our friends. but no guy will ever be the same as him. or it should