I got her number...

[Naya2279]

Ok, so I've made many many posts here about my situation, but i'll recap quickly. He started talking to his ex behind my back and went to see her over Thanksgiving. So now we've been playing this game of "I don't know what I want, but I don't wanna lose you crap". I go for a week or weeks with NC and then he comes to see me at work and he tells me that he is going to give her the boot that he knows what he wants, and me being stupid believes him and so on...

 

Anyways, I know that they still talk everyday even though he says he's gonna end it. She lives in RI and we live in WV. She doesn't know I exist. She doesn't know that we had been dating for 2 years before he went to see her. Well, I snatched her phone number off the caller ID the last time that I was there. I just wanted to have it for my safe keeping. I dunno. I think I only want to use it if I know that there is no chance at all that we will ever get back together. Obviously, he thinks that I came to see him, but really I wanted to get the number.

 

I know you all probably think I'm psycho and stuff, but I thought I was doing sooo well until he came into work last week to see me because I wouldn't answer his calls. I don't wanna believe his lines. I told him that I know he's trying to play us both. He swears it's not true that he's really just confused and that he's an idiot for putting me through this and what nots. I just can't believe a word out of his mouth anymore.

 

I don't wanna call her because then I know that we will be over for sure. But, I can't sit here and wait in the wings for him to make up his mind either. I dunno, he told me today that he wants to come up and visit with my parents because he misses them a lot. I just don't know what's going on anymore.

 

I thought I was doing so well. I stopped thinking about him 24 hours a day and was going on with my life and now he's drawn me back in. Am I crazy? Should I just call her and end it? or should I wait and just see what happens?

[mscolly]

Tell him, and above all yourself, that he must absolutely choose, no compromises, no half-way measures: 100% you else the ex.

 

Give him another chance if you want, but make it clear from the very beginning, that the first proof that there was any sort of even minimum contact with the ex, it's over between you. No "we'll just remain friends", no "I'll try but forgive me if I fall again".

 

You decide for yourself that that's how it must be, and make it clear to him what you've decided. But remain decided. He must be convinced that you're convinced. One slip on your part, if he sees he can make a compromise work, then he will try to make it work.

[Deckman33]

I second everything mscolly has said, he has to choose between you and her, just make it plain clear to him. He is obviously stuck in the middle, and I am sure that if he truly loves you, he'll realise that you mean much more to him than she does.

I wouldn't advise you to call her now, not before he makes a choice. And if he comes back to you, and she still tries to reach him, then you can call her and tell her to stay out of his life. When she will know that he is with you, she'll eventually forget about him.

Good luck.

[Prosper]

Hi Pal,

There is no point in calling her. U can stop her from being with him, not by using such method. In fact there is no method to keep someone with u. I cant. U cant. No one can.

 

If u want to call her and make known of ur existence. I quite agreeable with that. No one relationship shld be under the table, esp when u are not the one who is infidel in the first place. U can be a bit cheeky by dialling her number and claimed to look for him, and ask him back for dinner or things like that. If ur bf or her wants to play the guessing game, u play it first. Let her guess. WHY YOU?

 

Besides, u shld leave him to settle with her. He had made u confused. He had also confuse his ex as well. Yes! He is an idiot. Thats the fact. A genius dont confuse people, they convince them. Who is he?? Let him be the fool to settle things with her.

 

Enjoy ur time now. He will be back once he is done ~

[Hope75]

Naya,

 

I do not think you should call his ex!!

 

What do you hope to accomplish by this? Your problem is not with her, it is with him. HE is the one who can't make up his mind, HE is the one who goes to see her and then visits you at work.

 

Here's what you will accomplish by calling her:

 

1. Show him that you can't be trusted, you took her # off his caller ID and then started trouble by calling her.

 

2. Piss him and her off, by calling her and getting in a place you don't belong. Do you really think if you sabotage whatever he has with her that he's suddenly going to see you as this goddess that he made a big mistake leaving and come back? NO, he's going to see you a a untrustable meddler, which is what you will be if you call her.

 

3. Hurt yourself in the process. Do you really want to hear what ever she is going to say to you?

 

WHY are you so desperate to hold onto this guy who is dragging you along and still seeing his other ex too? He does not sound like he's worth all this angst and trouble.

 

You were doing so well before. I suggest you handle this like a mature adult with self respect and dignity, and rip up her number, forget him, and move on with your life.