Has she lost interest in me?

[tripped]

I met a girl about a month and a half ago while she was visiting a friend. We met at a party and even though I knew she lived 4 hours away, we had an amazing connection and we couldn't stop talking. Since then, I have visited her once and she has come here twice, and she is actually moving to my city next month (this was always the plan, even before meeting me, it just recently got confirmed).

 

However, she is currently in town for her second trip, and something seems off. She doesn't seem to be into my advances (if I try to kiss her, she will give me one quick one then look away or change the subject), she has excuses why we can't have sex (she had to get up early one morning, then the next night her body was "achey"), and tonight (her last night) she just informed me that she is going to spend the night with her friend and have a girls night. All PERFECTLY acceptable, but it just seems weird. We haven't seen each other in 3 weeks, and won't see each other for another two.

 

Am I being paranoid? Or is this odd?

[BigKK]

I'd say she's probably losing interest, I mean its kind of long distance... I wouldn't put all my eggs into this basket. Although maybe it gets better when she gets back?

 

Perhaps you're advancing too much hence she's making excuses? I don't know... perhaps her excuses are valid. I know in fresh relationships we are having so much sex that either party needs to remember to eat. So if you're already getting an off feeling maybe your intuition is correct.

[eskimobobseal]

I believe this is a sign that she's losing interest for whatever reason. Like the above poster said, don't put all the eggs in one basket and try and see other women while keeping your eye out for her. She may come around after she moves to your city, but don't make it a life or death situation for you or you may end up hurt bad

[gdgfx]

Agreed with everyone else, but...

I wouldn't put it down to her losing interest. I'd put it down to her not being right for you. Put it this way, she hasn't gave you a reason as to why she's being like she is, there is distance involved and she doesn't seem phased by that and not only that but there seems to be inevitable times apart between you two that she doesn't seem to be patching up. I mean, someone in that situation who would be ideal for you would be making sure everything is sorted so this new budding relationship can go further, wouldn't you agree? It's okay saying she lost interest but really? She suddenly came along, you got on well together and now she's distant. You have be realistic and not become overly attached to people you've just met, because this happens. You want to believe you have a bond, which is a belief and not a fact, you want to believe you get on well which is based only the limited time you have known each other and you want her to be committed to this new friendship/relationship which she isn't and doesn't have to because she doesn't really know you or have ANY reason too only that you've met up a few times, maybe slept together and had a little fun together.

 

I don't know how old you are, but I'm saying you are early twenties, right? Don't fall for girls so easily! Of course, we should be allowed too. Wouldn't it be great if we met that ideal dream woman where would throw all our emotions and feeling towards and she not make one unfair move who takes it all in confidence and has no ulterior motives but, hey! This is real life and although those women exist, they are pretty hard to find. I'm guessing you enjoys to party so she will have experience meeting other guys, that being said, she's had every opportunity to know what she's looking for and without insulting this woman I've never met (she could be an angel sent from above, who knows!) she's probably got a little more experience than you have and sees you just as a hook-up, perhaps even a hook-up with friendship attached. She could be partying in some other location next week or next month or whenever and come accross more guys.

 

It's your job to set yourself apart from those guys because let's face it, young guys at parties have their d*ck in their hand and your brain scattered amongst the empty beer cans and leftover pizza. You have to be the guy that stands out, and if that means being a little bit more mature, and knowing when to detach yourself and just be a cool guy to get along with, have fun and get to know girls, you'll find that at the end of the week when that girl you got with that weekend before doesn't text you back; you can at least say, well hey I wasn't looking for anything more than just some fun and possibly friendship! Instead of coming here asking for advice because I've been in your situation and I'm not saying girls at parties are like some sort of mindf*ck, but really they can be! Some you will lose and some you will win.

 

Just have fun, don't go running for every girl you encounter and if this girl comes back around then so be it, if that happens then great, I wish you the best of luck. Just don't go doing what you are doing now and expecting things to happen when if they were to happen, they'd of happened by now and all your questions would of been answered by her mutually contributing which so far she isn't. She's just another girl at a party. If you want serious girls, and who knows, maybe she is, you might end up being together... I'd get on a decent dating site if you want that exclusivity and start building a relationship up from the ground up because from what I can remember from the parties I attended, sweaty house and techno nights full of people on allsorts, illegal raves going back 10 years now, bars and clubs you could get high in when the smoking ban here in the UK wasn't implied, and the people I met -- nothing much came from party encounters. It was fun at the time, yeah, for that moment when you've had a drink (and maybe more....), when you're in the moment; you might want this girl but really, when it's all said and done, it's all fricative and slightly fictional which is why parties are great because it's a chance to unwind, chance to escape the midst of your stresses and be yourself but that doesn't automatically mean you'll be walking away with a women you'll end up knowing for the rest of your life, but hey, maybe I'm wrong. I used that mentality and that approach and I never had to deal with these sort of situations. But, everyone is different, right?

 

Hope I helped

[SoulTaker]

Tripped, you might now be rushing the dating process with her. You've only been with her for a little over a month, met in person a few times due to long distance, and yet you're already in bed with her.

 

Maybe she's having second thoughts on how she went about things. There's nothing in your update on whether the two are you are "exclusive". Is she looking for a FWB, casual relationship, LTR,..? Sometimes, "long distance" provides a buffer, and things change when that buffer will no longer there. She holds the answer to your question. If you feel a change with her, then ask her where the two of you stand.