Monday memories and a question: Why is it so hard to let go?

[Charlotte12]

Last night I was about to sleep and I felt a sudden ache...after a few seconds I found out it wasn't all the food I had during the weekend. It was my soul. Yes my friends, my soul is hurt. I imagined a picture of my ex's house and realized how much I missed to be there. I actually almost lived over there so...it was like my second home. I know I will always be reminded of the good times I spent with that human, but right now I am reminiscing a little bit too much. Last week I discovered I have a big cyst on my ovary so that is making me feel a bit emotional. I am still not sure if it is a bad cyst, but chances are I will have to get it removed in the upcoming months. I've never hard surgery before and that really scares me. Also, this reminded me how much my life has changed in just a few months. My break up will be six months old in two weeks. That's a lot of time. And a whole lot of time without speaking with the ex. Guess what? Stupid me, first thing I felt like doing was running into my ex's arms when I found out about the surgery. I feel more than stupid guys, I am sorry I can't be in a cheerful mode today but why is it so hard to let go? I think I should let myself go and stop thinking about him, blocking the memories as I blocked him from facebook but somehow...I can't. It's hard. I struggle to understand things that can't be explained and maybe I will never find out the truth. As I have told you in previous posts, I do all I can to be healthy...I exercise, I eat well, I work, I go to therapy and I try to smile even if I don't want to. This year has been tough as hell but I have learnt a lot of things too, and even though I wish I could still have my relationship, I am not going to let that ruin me. I still have dreams and wishes and I feel really alive. But how do you do to stop missing someone who doesn't miss you? How do you cope with the indifference? I am in NC because I didn't have a choice...he is in NC because he chose not to contact me anymore and that hurts a lot.

Sorry for all the rambling and thank you for reading. Writing here is better than therapy sometimes.

[butterflyburn]

The good news is it does get better with time. However love is almost like an addiction. Moving on will require such will power almost like recovering from an addiction. I had major surgery last year. You will be well. There is an army of great people online. Consider joining a medical community. Those people are amazing. Cysts are nasty but not too complicated. You will be fine either with key hole surgery or a more complex one. Hang in there love. Your new reality is without your ex. When you do come out of this surgery without support from the boyfriend you will gain even strength to curve a new life outside of him. Good luck honey

 

 

A luta continua

[SooSad33]

Yes,.. i know. This pain can be debilitating.

 

One day at a time. It all takes time. I think it will start to ease off in another cpl months.

We all go thru those emotions.. those memories etc. Over and over.

 

Have you tried therapy? ahve you spoken with your Dr? Do you feel really depressed or heightened anxiety?

My anxiety was sky high & i needed therapy. Took about 9 mos to start feeling 1/2 normal again.

 

it all takes time...

 

tc