How did you move on?

[ubasti]

I want to know other peoples experiences with break ups and how they healed and move on. Perhaps it can help those who are still hurting and feeling lost. Thanks!

[Jeffbobo]

As if they were dead to me. Little or no contact whatsoever. Get rid of everything that has anything to do with them.

[fireflies]

I kept busy... working, volunteering, reconnecting with friends, shopping, watching funny movies, reading self-help books, doing whatever made me feel good at the time. I decided to take all of the time and energy that I'd normally spend on loving him, on myself and others instead. I was tired of feeling like my life was over if he wasn't at the center of it.

 

I got rid of mementos to stop idolizing him.

 

I made a list of reasons why he wasn't good for me and would review it (and add to it!!!) whenever I started to miss him. This really hardened my resolve.

 

I prayed that God would watch over him, because I could no longer do so. This gave me permission to stop thinking about him.

 

I used a tally counter to keep track of how often he entered my thoughts. At my worst, I was thinking of him over 170 times a day. By the end of six weeks, the tally was under 10. After 3 months, 1-2 times a day. Five to six months in, I realized I hadn't thought about him in weeks. After being hopelessly in love with him for 4 years, I considered this a miracle! Keeping track helped me stop the obsessing and feel in control of my progress.

[Penseur]

I try my best to accept the fact that for the next X number of months, it is going to be an emotional roller coaster. There are plenty of things to do to help with the process, such as keeping a journal, talking with loved ones, taking up self-improvement exercises/activities to boost your self-esteem, and such forth. The simple fact remains, however, that it is going to be a very tough road ahead if you were at all emotionally invested in the relationship and cared at all. Walk straight into that pain and feel it at its most penetrating depths. Just keep in mind that even though it may not seem like it, the greatest moments of self-improvement come from these kinds of life events that happen to every single person.

[whitwhit]

Focus on how they didn't meet your needs, and reignite your lust (you don't have to sleep with people, just try to discover your attraction for the preferred sex). Rediscover your fantasies.