How Do I Deal W/ Her Finding Someone Else?

[10023711]

I've posted about my situation before and I felt better after some good advice for a long period of time but recently I've felt crummy again about something that I've come accross. Skip now if you don't want to read about high school drama.

 

Background Info:

----------------------------------

-We are 18, this girl initiated interest in me/flirted, I've known her for 10 months and she's had a bf the whole time. I've told her I like her in the past b/c she honestly seemed like she wanted me. We never a whole lot and we never talked on the phone.

-I asked her out in person when they where broken up. She said they are complicated. She said she would text me though. (Didn't) -A week earlier she told me she didn't like him (and made a face of disgust). She even called him a 'fagbag' but later that evening ate lunch w/ him resting in his lap.

-At graduation she came and talked to me. A week later I said its either a yes or a no. She said 'maybe'. I asked why she said that and she told me they were still complicated. I said I would take it as a no but let me know if things change. She asked what we would do and I said 'Idk movies'. She said she would let me know.

-I recently told her bye b/c she was toying w/ me. (she sent me a 3 and some other stuff and didn't respond back). After telling her bye, she then told me to never text her again and said she always told me she didn't like me.

--------------------------------------

Now a month has past and college is in a couple days. I've recently felt bad b/c I accidentally found her ex's twitter (seriously) and seen old pics of them and his new 'girls'. This had me thinking if she is not w/ him then she is w/ someone else. She is an extremely attractive girl and she could probably get most guys. There was a point in where i wanted something real w/ her and wanted a real relationship. I now realize she is not good for me. I am a virgin by the way, 18 years old, by choice (didn't want to rush when i was younger). What drives me crazy is the fact that maybe she just would have wanted sex only and not a relationship and now some other guy is probably giving to her. I would be ok with just that.

 

I've listened to everyone's advice and actually forgot about her but that stuff i seen on twitter got me thinking again and feeling down.

 

I asked her on specifically a "date", maybe if she didn't want anything serious I screwed my chances? It's like I can't get over her. Do you think she will text me? Its been a month. Do very attractive girls normally run back or find someone else? I don't think i want anything serious at this point but maybe just some fun?, i still do have feelings for here though. If i did text her what would be the correct way to go about it?

 

Thank you.

[eskimobobseal]

Why were you trying to pursue someone who wasn't emotionally ready to be with you? She clearly had someone else in the picture that she valued more, and was using you as a play toy to help her self esteem. You were being her door mat...

 

If she had interest, she probably would have contacted you. I guess a short text to see if she's single wouldn't hurt, but I highly doubt this one is going to materialize into anything. No offense, but you seem a little bit clingy/desperate for her and that's not healthy. I understand though, I've been there. Look, this isn't the last girl in the world, there are literally millions out there who are ready/willing to give you romantic attention. You just need to go out there and find them. Don't waste time wondering what this girl is doing, use that time to better yourself as a human being and go out and TAKE what you want. Be confident, have some swagger in your step and forget about the women that are "meh" about contacting you and go meet someone that's going to WANT to be with you and give you the relationship you're looking for.

 

You saw pics on Twitter? So what? Quit acting like this is your ex-wife or something. If you want to shoot her a quick text to see if she's available/gauge her interest, go ahead - but if you don't get a reply or you get rejected, don't take it personally. You're freakin 18 years old, waaaaay too young to be hung up on some chick you'll probably forget about soon anyway. Get out there and meet new women.

[10023711]

 

If she had interest, she probably would have contacted you. I guess a short text to see if she's single wouldn't hurt, but I highly doubt this one is going to materialize into anything.

 

Most likely I will not text her. In that text argument we had she claimed that she told me she didn't like me, thought we were just friends and said "no" to me asking her out (she said maybe). I don't know if she meant all of that stuff but it would be hard to contact someone after they've said all of that. But who knows. And yea i'm in that needy/desperate state right now. I haven't really outwardly shown that to her. But it is taking a toll on my health and mindset. Thanks.

[CraigHowes]

Actions speaks louder than words. The red flags were there right from the start but you ignored them and kept going. There's nothing wrong with this and we've all done it thinking oh it'll be fine they'll change, I'll change them, I'll save them. Life doesn't work like that my friend.

 

At your age people are still experimenting and finding out who and what they are. Hence relationships can be full of drama and issues as your both learning things.

 

What you need to do now is learn from this experiences and set up some expectations for when you meet the next girl. Notice the red flags and decide whether they are deal breakers for you.

 

Having a bf, going through a recent breakup, telling you it's complicated, I'm not ready are all deal breakers and means you should run.

 

Stop snooping and get some self worth and value and realise that you deserve better than this. You deserve a girl who is available to you, likes you and is ready to date you without expectations.

 

Freedom comes when you let go of whatever doesn't serve you anymore. She isn't serving you anymore and the quicker you accept this the quicker you will heal.

[10023711]

I agree w/ you. Many people told me I should have at least slept w/ her and stuff. I don't want anything serious anymore, maybe just a one night stand and i would let her know if she did reciprocate interest that that is all i want. How should I go about contacting her given the things she said? She claimed she told me that she didn't like me and thought we were just friends. This is the same girl that said she couldn't imagine dating this one guy to his face but then after a year went out with him. I don't want to date her though anymore, just thinking about maybe sleeping w/ her.

[CraigHowes]

Sleeping with her would just rip open a healing wound and what would you accomplish by doing so?

 

Why do you want to settle for second best when you could have the full package with someone who is available to you?

 

You've crossed the friends to relationship barrier and trust me as a guy who's been through this all before there is no way back. Please do yourself a favour and throw her back in the sea. She is a trout, do you want to be a trout with her? No you want to be a happy pristine fish.

 

Your friends are just giving you young guy talk, I mean come on we all do it but it's what you want not them as they are only jesting.

 

Sleeping with her even if she accepts which is highly doubtful will only make your hurt 10xs worse and the situation a ton worse.

 

There are plenty more nice girls out there please let this one go and learn from it.