What disagreements do you have with your S.O.?

[xmrth]

I'm curious:

What disagreements/conflicts do you have with your significant other?

I was looking around the forum of course, but it's more like big situations, not little things like "oh they don't like when I do this" or that, etc.

 

It always seems to me like people have this sort of "perfect relationship" but then you get to talking with them about it, they have realistic relationship problems just like everyone else. I'm curious what other's here have problems with.

I also feel like I'm all alone with certain things, and so does a friend of mine-- and we seem to be two girls who think the same and have the same kind of conflicts. You sort of realise just how NOT alone you are, and it's almost comforting in a weird kind of way.

I hope this isn't out of line-- you don't need to answer if you don't want to, obviousely.

[justagirl20f]

I used to believe that all relationships sucked when you got right down to it. You know, like those friends you have who have been together for years and "love each other" but staying faithful to one anther seems impossible so they always argue about that. Or the couple that is "really in sync" but he never calls when he should and leaves her hanging around the house waiting. Or the couple that seem to have no problems whatsoever, then you find out that one is just really domineering and the other caves their will under the slightest pressure or threat, so there isnt ever conflict.

 

It's easy to assume that all relationships have their problems. Without fail you're gonna have issues. But since meeting my current BF I've changed my outlook completely. We never have disagreement or conflict of will, not because one of us is constantly compromising, but because we honestly truly have similar outlook on things, leaving no cause for argument.

 

I think a lot of the time people who are in crappy relationships soothe themselves by saying "all relationships have problems" and thereforeeee stay in the rut of being in an incompatable relationship. I think if these people looked at their relationship, saw it for what it was, and ultimately refused to settle, they would be in better relationships. Sure they'd go through more partners before finding the one right for them, but there's nothing wrong with that.

 

I don't know if that answered your question at all, LOL. What did I fight with past partners about?? Everything from not respecting me to infidelity to letting me down, through substance abuse... What do I fight with my current BF about?? Absolutely positively NOTHING. I can't even imagine what we'd fight about, as we are so similar in values and goals. So it is possible, if you just refuse to settle for less.

[tea]

I never fight with my boyfriend... we have small small dissagreements, but we work those out soon. sometimes he compromises, sometimes i compromise, sometimes we both apologize and move on.

 

we did have one almost very serious argument... over... whether you should sympathize with people or pity them. i said i don't think there's a difference but for him there's a huge difference.. however, after 10 minutes we couldn't agree, and it's not a big deal since we were just arguing a hypothetical case, so we just dropped it and moved on.

[AlleyCat]

While my b/f and I rarely argue, we have some things that we occasionally have minor conflicts about. I think it's healthy to have some differences and not necessarily agree about everything - I think it makes life more interesting.

 

Some of our disagreements include the fact that I smoke and he doesn't and he thinks I treat my cats too much like humans (that probably sounds weird but oh well ). I think he's too possessive about his car and his computer, and he's too private at times. We've learned to compromise about these issues (and others), so they're really not a big deal and I think it would be odd to not have things you don't like about your SO after being together for over six years, like we have.

[OceanEyes]

Good idea for a topic xmrth!

 

"Bigger" problems my boyfriend has with me

 

He thinks that I am stubborn. Stubborn in the sense that if we argue and he tries explaining a point to me, that I won't listen to him because I have already "made up my mind". He usually says something along the lines of "why do I even bother trying to explain things to you? You don't trust what I say anyhow!" when we argue. He doesn't think that I trust him, what he says, and his intentions as much as I should after all of our time together.

 

So you can see, his issues are not typically 'small' issues, but they've gotten quite a bit better over the past 1.5 years.

 

"Bigger" problems I have with him

 

I find that he can sometimes be a very cold and moody person. He is sometimes a bit too overbearing physically, and sometimes asks for more attention/ affection that I can give him (I'm not always in the mood for cuddling - he IS). I will sometimes push him away physically and emotionally because I don't know how else to say "BACK OFF for a little while". I am the kind of person who needs some 'personal time' every day. I can't have him in my face every second or I start feeling very irritated.