Becoming attractive?

[ApathyKid666]

Hi,

 

So lately, I've been getting remarks about several people thinking I'm hot (sometimes 'sooo hot'), and that I'm cute. Its usually some of my friends that tell me that their friends that i was usually recently introduced are the ones saying this. There are also college girl in my sisters dorm from college that see pictures of me on her door that make comments. And usually its girls of a more or less significant age gap. I turned 17 two months ago and the girls mostly being attracted (if not always) seem to be 8th graders and freshman, or older girls like I said from college.

 

This is so new to me! I've always been the not so attractive red-head kid. Granted my hair has changed to a light brown and my style has kicked up a bit the last few years. I just don't see why all the sudden I'm able to attract girls of these age gaps, but never anyone really my age. I've had one girlfriend my age and that was during freshman year. That ended horribly and we've been at eachother's throats ever since (only one more year and I never have to see her again

 

I think the recent years of always being rejected and never really liked have taken their toll and given me a low self esteem about how I look. I met one girl online (yes a freshman this year, still a little young) and she finally put a picture I sent her and I was amazed at the score I received. I believe it's at 9.9 at the moment. Then again, I'm somewhat of a pessimist and I don't much trust HotorNot or those other rating systems; one reason being one picture of you make look good to someone, but another could send an entirely different message.

 

My problem is my low self esteem and my need for a girlfriend as I feel thats the missing block in my life right now. This freshman girl I met online however; we've taken a high liking to eachother to the point we talk about what could happen when she can date (she can't until she turns 16). And we've estimated even when she can and even though we like eachother chances are slim. We go to separate private school, but live in the same town, and have seen eachother once outside of the internet since we both play for the same soccer club... it happened by chance we did see eachother though, and only from afar, its not like we talked or anything. The fact we met online and her parents being very, very protective and sheltering is mainly the problem. I mean this girl is great... she's 2 years younger than myself, but she is smart, intelligent, and wise beyond her years, as well as mine. Her heart is in the right place and it seems like we're copies of eachother on the inside.

 

I guess my problem is what could I do about this girl? I've never met her parents, I don't think I ever will unless a miracle happens (which I pray for). And even if I do I don't think they'll like me too much for the way I dress and all of that fun stuff.

My other problem is what can I do about this self esteem thing and applying that in looking for a girlfriend? I'm not used to thise whole becoming attractive in a sense, and girls my age still don't seem to be taking the bait, which is making me nervous. My brother was almost the exact same way... never that great and toward the end of highschool years BAM. Girls, mostly younger were all over him. He always had a thing that he had to date older or same aged girls though and has had a successful girlfriend for over 2 years. I'm not so picky and can tolerate a younger girl so long as they are mature enough to understand whats going on... what do I do?

[Prosper]

Hi Pal,

U and ur brother are different. What he can handle may not be what u can handle. There is no wrong in getting a gal 2 years younger than u. Why are u bothered by what they say? Matured people choose very much who to be bothered, who not to be, do u know tat?

 

Dun feel obligated to have a gf to be with u for 2 years, i know the envious feeling can be really painful at times. But find someone u think u are comfortable with, and go out there, enjoy and have fun. Suitability we shall talk about that later.

[sisterlynch]

Self-esteem and the way that you look are intermingled. People often cant tell how cute or not they are just by looking in the mirror. This is why relationships are so important to us, they give us confidence that we are ok.

 

Looks aren't the only thing that attracts attention from the other sex, there is also belief in our personality (or intelligence or sense of self) that needs to come from within.

 

Here is the deal, just be you, be gracious, don't take others for granted, be polite and considerate of the feelings of others. Know that your looks will work to your advantage in the future and just don't worry about yourself so much.

[silentone14]

Can you drive? Guys at my school get girls cause they drive sometimes. Also just the fact that you are older might have something to do with it. The girls your age don't take the bait cause they know you better than anyone outside your age. It might just be the girls in your town, because they all know you. Have you ever thought you could have a better life somewhere else? They fact of just knowing the impression you could make on others would change your life. People who already know you know what to expect from, or know stupid things from the past that they don't find cool.

[Spartan1]

Confidence is the key. Trying to get that confidence is a journey that begins in your teens. If you want a golden rule to go by this is it:

 

"Act confident. Make firm decisions. Do not be bothered if you are dating or not. Enjoy life, have a smile on you face with all women you meet and learn to understand body language a little. Also make female friends"

 

Believe it or not it takes time to do this properly and get the right balance. But basically you have a great start! If you are getting compliments then obviously looks wise you are hot to the women. Thats great but will only get you so far as you have already realised.

 

Ironically. To attract the ladies you have to not actually care about having a girlfriend. Think of it from another perspective. If a girl asked you out just because she wanted a boyfriend, how special would you feel? Not a lot. So you got to play the game. You do that by not giving a damn or at least portraying you do not give a damn. Then when you meet a girl you like ask her out.

 

Good luck!

 

 

Spartan

[ForAnother]

Hey man... I just wanted to point this out. "I need a girlfriend because it is the missing block in my life." Some peopel believe that that is a silly thing to think is missing. I believe its probably that block... but its not going to fit the way you think it is.

 

I think your looking at the "girlfriend thing" during the relationship... but the true learning will come after you break up with her. When you realize what you did wrong, and that you really didn't need a girlfriend to fill that block. It is then you will learn the importance of a gf.

 

Learn from your next gf, understand compinsate.... do all the silly stupid romance stuff and get that part of you out, then you will be ready to date a girl that you trully have feelings for... cuz your first romance is almost always BS.

 

ForAnother