Why can't I just be narcissistic and not feel.

[HurtGirl15]

It just seems so easy for someone who has narcissistic qualities to move on and feel nothing.

While so many of us suffer and wonder and hurt and struggle.

I wonder what it must feel like just to be able to walk away and start right up with someone else

and have such a great time. If you read my previous post you'll know where I'm coming from.

Even though I know that he was not the one for me, before finding out about the cheating, it

still hurts and I have such a sense of loneliness and emptiness, while he's off professing his love

to someone new, only after 1 1/2 months.

[fed up]

Hi there..I just read your original post and it sounds like we've been through something very similar. While I do believe my guy was physically loyal, I do also think he was always "looking". It makes me sick. He also had stupid stuff on FB all the time, and would cat-call other women, calling them "hot" "yummy" "gorgeous"

he is 47 years old!!

Then he was so shocked when I dumped him - it was so hard on me to see who he really was. Always broke, always between jobs, drank way too much, heavy smoker, always the victim but he could charm the skin off a snake with his sweet talking ways.

I feel duped, disgusted and wonder if I will ever trust men again. Ugh

 

The only way to get over someone like this is to turn your thinking around - and realize you dodged a bullet, and you were strong enough to end it. Karma will bite him in the ass big time. he can seduce and lie and charm all he wants, but no woman will stay with him for the long haul as he reveals his true character. he sounds like an absolute slime ball and as more time passes you will be fine. Close your heart to that loser.

[bulletproof]

I'm not sure it has anything to do with narcissism per se.

 

He may seem like he's having a "great time" but my guess is that his behavior stems mainly from a place of great pain and thus he feels the need for constant companionship and validation, at any price. Not that he's excused from bad behavior, but sometimes it helps to remember that the people who hurt us are sometimes very unhappy, and certainly not worth being envious of.

 

Either way, I read your other post and I would say that in the future, be very wary of someone throwing around the word "love" within weeks of meeting. I would also be wary of a lot of heavy "past relationship" talk in the first few weeks of dating. Maybe just approach it next time as going out with someone to have fun, laugh, talk about more positive stuff.

[HurtGirl15]

Thank you both. Narcissist or not i know he cannot be truly happy deep down inside. He has so many "people" issues and there's always someone he's angry at.

I do know that I will be so much better off, and yes, i dodged a bullet. And probably not true, but it seems like he never has to face the loneliness because they're always someone else right away. I will do things the right way and take time before getting involved with someone again. But there are just those times when things feel so lonely and empty. My routine has changed. It also doesn't help that he owns the house next door and I have to look at it daily. It's a rental and I haven't seen him there since we split. He never did spend any time caring for it before we got together. I hadn't seen him in all the years he owned it. But it's there, the lawn is over grown, and it looks like crap. I guess just another reminder of how he is.

 

From what I have heard through the grapevine, his new gf's father does not like him at all. I am actually acquaintances with the father. My ex is almost the fathers age. He told me he got bad vibes about him and that he can sense a player. I guess he expressed this to his daughter and my ex took him off of his facebook page and did the "F him" stuff. Most men would understand a fathers concern, especially since she has an 8 year old daughter who's life he's already in. Just so sad.

 

I just want the sadness to go away. When I do think about him I do think about all of the negatives, as they far outweigh the positives. I know I'll get there but I want to be there now!

[catfeeder]

[...] I would say that in the future, be very wary of someone throwing around the word "love" within weeks of meeting. [...]

 

Glad you pointed that out, BP, it's a hUge red flag. Nobody knows us well enough to truly love in such a short period of time. People who rush into 'love' usually burn out of 'love' just as quickly and as recklessly. Not the deepest sort of folk...