Friendship VS. No Contact ???

[ajk]

i think it's totally okay to take her to work. i actually think she probably does miss you...otherwise, why would she ask that? i'm sure there are plenty of other people she could ask. i also think that she realizes the support/love that you give her...she knows she can turn to you if she needs something. sometimes people need to see what they are missing and how much someone means to them.

[Marko]

Thanks for your help guys....

 

I don't want to be too optimistic, in fact I'm expecting to and ready to accept the worst, but I do have a good feeling about this. She tells me she cares about me and misses me, and I did have to change. It took her breaking up w/ me to open my eyes to a lot of things, not just the relationship, but for myself.

 

I'm really nervous about being w/ her tonight. She said she might just want to chill out tonight, cuz its been a rough week. Chill out??? I would think that would mean she wants to come over. I can't really hang at her place, and I can't think of anywhere else we could go to "chill out".

 

I hope thats her plan, cuz then I could have it all laid out.

 

I should also note that we had a good relationship. It saddened her deeply to end it, she just thought if she didn't do it now, it would come up down the road in the long run.

[jazn84]

If your ex is immediately seeing some else already I would assume NC would be the best option right?wat if you want her back? I feel the NC rule will be a disadvantage maybe. Im not sure.....

[ShuShu Fontana]

If you want someone back NC could be the best way to do it. I was way too available to my ex. It was too easy and I think he lost interest. If I had set up boundaries and acted like this was really, really over, maybe he would have thought harder about losing me. Keeping in cotact with him he never had a chance to miss me and know what it was like to not have me in his life.

[fantasia2004]

same here right on the money shu shu

[fantasia2004]

Remember she is not herself these days , don't let here string you along...

[Sophia_Jane]

Myself and my ex both hurt each other with In fidelity - for a lot of reasons. We had minimal contact for about 3 weeks but becuase we had not just been partners for 5 years we are also best mates and still kinda are.. We still have feelings for each other - but we dont have sex we hang out some weekends liek this weekend we went cinema, lunch and shopping..

 

But we did decide to live on our own and this really has given us time to think and we are working on ourselves, by ourselves as we both have personal problems.. In a few months we decided we will sit down and discuss where we go from there and whether we may have relationship counselling to see if there is hope.. At the moment I enjoy the contact we have at the moment - It kind of feels like dating again - which we never did but we just take it one step at a time - nwe dont plan out our futures together we just hang out oncf ein a while - I htink this really helps honestly. I knwo people say NC but I think it depends on the situation,,,,

[Marko]

well my "date" was a disaster.

 

for some insane reason we decided to take a road trip. I broke every rule. Folded. I was horrible.

 

Then we made love. Then she freaked out. Then I freaked out. BAD.

 

very emotional.

 

we've spoken a little since then. I couldn't handle things and i tok off for Chicago. She thinks i will move back there w/in 2 months, tho I try to convince her otherwise. (a big part of our break up was she didn't think i was hapy in fla.)

 

she called the other day, and I gnored her call, not knowing what to say to her and almost fearful of what she might say to me.

 

I called her back yesterday. We had some small talk and agreed to go to lunch when i return, next tuesday. She is also supposed to call me tomorrow to let me know how her dentist appointment went.

 

I've been having really bad panic attacks, and still haven't slept more than a couple hours going on the 3 weeks we have been apart.

 

I COULD NOT imagine being more miserable. Im at a point where I wish I would just keel over and croak.

 

Im learning a lot about myself right now, specifically why the relationship did not work, and I need to work on them. I just miss her so much.

 

on a side note, that last night we spent togther, I stayed up the ENTIRE night, holding her, playing w/ her hair, and caressing her.

 

love makes you do funny things.

 

I just wish this would all end and my life would resume.

[DragonGirl724]

READ THIS:

 

"METHODS" TO GET BACK AN EX:

link removed

 

& itll answer your question & save you time & energy with 'getting your ex to come back'. i wish that topic would become a 'sticky topic'. it sure as hell will save a lot of people a lot of grief!

 

some people are just too afraid to let their past go that they hold onto hope & live in a make believe relationship w/ their ex. im sorry, it sucks but the relationship is over. ITS NOT HEALTHY! check the link.

 

-DG724

[Jinky]

Friendships, be civil- not best buddies, dont always be available, see other people, be fun, be free, be yourself. No contact is a healing thing, if a person was ignoring me- i'd soon get fed up.

 

Wouldnt you?

[organik]

Friendships, be civil- not best buddies, dont always be available, see other people, be fun, be free, be yourself. No contact is a healing thing, if a person was ignoring me- i'd soon get fed up.

 

Wouldnt you?

 

Friendship when you love someone is too hard... and NC doesn't have to mean ignoring the other person until they soon get fed up... I'm doing NC, but i've made it clear to her that the only option is to make an effort to reconcile, and when she's ready, to call me. She told me she's not ready yet, but when she is she will call. I think giving each other space is important to help both of us grow and heal, and when the time is right maybe things will work out.

[Mustang]

I think NC has to be done at some point. It is IMPOSSIBLE to make the transition from bf/gf to friends without some time apart.

 

Also, a common thing seems to be that people tend to get back together when the old relationship is a thing of the past. As an example, a previous ex of mine (three years ago) and I are really really close friends now and I'm pretty sure we could easily get back together now if we both wanted to. When we broke up there was no chance. Where as now, it's totally new.

 

Things are still a bit strange with me and my current ex. I wanted her back for so long and I've only recently felt free from it all. Would I like to get back with her? I'd say yes. But I realise that no NC/LC plan will work. Everything has to happen naturally. And if it doesn't, then it doesn't matter because I am not expecting or hoping it to.

[tushboy]

I did NC the first time my ex dumped me ..but that was because he had got back to his Ex....but this time around he's dumped me again but doing NC is tougher as I know he's just going to start dating some one new....sigh...but I do need strict NC.