Mixed emotions

[Charlotte12]

Hello there! I haven't posted a new thread in a few days and felt like I needed to talk a bit today. Writing over here is really therapeutic and it helps a lot.

I'm sure many of you have been in my shoes...I have been dumped by a good boyfriend, I was a in a long term relationship, he broke up with me suddenly, later I found out he was with someone else (You may read my story at my previous posts) Even though I am feeling so much better, I am still having a lot of moments where I am so angry and confused. I have read and many of you over here would say that exes never come back when you are expecting them, that you have to completely disappear from their lives and act as if they never existed. Well, I dissapeared. I only talk with his family when they contact me. But still...it is really hurtful to know that he doesn't care about me. I can't get over this...does someone new enter in the picture and you forget about your gf of six years? Those words he said to me the last time I saw him are running over my head. "You will never lose me" was the most meaningful. I don't understand it...I knew this guy for a long time. He was a nice guy, he was a decent guy who treated me right at all times...what the hell happened here? How does someone change his mind so suddenly? As I said before (I am sorry for saying it again) I kept expecting for him to reappear in my life at least to apologise. Now the days go by and the months will follow and I see nothing may happen. Will he ever talk to me again? Why do I want him to talk to me? I don't know...I still have feelings obviously but I keep thinking that he left me for someone else and that's horrible. That's a horrible feeling. He ditched our relationship to be with someone else.

 

In spite all of what I mentioned before, I've come a long way since day 1.

Ohhh feels so good to vent, thank you for reading.

[SooSad33]

Hi Charlotte,

 

All you are going through and feeling is all part of the 'stages of grief', so it's normal and it does come around in 'waves'.

A year later and I still feel off and on hurt, confused and angry.

Remember, mine was 5 yrs and he left for someone else (cheated his way out). Despite that, he still snuck in and tried to 'remind me' that he did still care.. missed me, still loved me, etc.

** If he did 'love' me, I believe he wouldn't have wandered. So- whatever, idiot!**

 

That is in response to what your ex said to you.. "Those words he said to me the last time I saw him are running over my head. "You will never lose me" was the most meaningful. I don't understand it."

They can say all they want, but remember... 'Actions speak louder than words'.. so true

 

As for this?.. " How does someone change his mind so suddenly?"

If someone has moved on quickly from one relation to another, often they emotionally left the relationship months ago, but you just didn't know. That's why we end up so shocked & hurting. No real warning signs. (as mentioned, they have checked out of the relationship already.).

 

Does he think about you? Yes, he does.

Does he miss you? Yes, I'm sure at times, he does.

 

Keep working on 'accepting and healing'. Yes, it does take a lot of time. Emotionally & mentally.. months.

You're not alone.... ((hugs))

[miss_sunshine]

Hi Charlotte

 

I just wanted to say I am so sorry for your pain and I know how you feel. My ex ended our relationship after 11.5 years, he was a good guy and we had a good relationship too and it just came out of nowhere. He did not know if he wanted to get married and have kids and if he ever would and he said he felt bad everyday for not giving me those things he knew I wanted and could not live with the how bad he felt about it all anymore. It's weird as only a few months before we were at his mates place and his mate was saying how he was thinking he might propose to his girlfriend and my ex said to him "well you better not do it before me". He told me that in the car driving home, he did not need to tell me that as I did not hear their conversation, so when I look back on that comment I find it all pretty weird. Anyway my point is, that I understand how you feel about those comments they make and when you look back on them you think how are you moving on and not contacting me. I have been listening to a song called Amnesia by 5 seconds of summer and that is really speaking to me today "It's like we never happened, was it just a lie? If what we had was real, how could you be fine?"

 

I too really hope one day we will speak again and I will get some sort of apology. I am a good person and I know I was a good girlfriend to him and I deserved better than the way things ended, even though I know there is no perfect ending. I hope you continue to find healing and that you get the closure you need.

[mulligan]

Charlotte, I am very sorry to read about what happened. The circumstances are similar to mine as is the hurt. It has been 6 months for me and the loss of what mattered most to me still shakes me. I have one good friend that always has time for me. I will never forget this support.

 

I would have taken a bullet for her. It sounds like your feelings were equally strong. I cannot help regretting sometimes this characteristic. But I would not wish to be as cold and hard as her either.

[janut1]

Sorry to hear of your loss. It's hard to hate the nice guys even when they leave you huh? I was thinking about that yesterday. I don't hate my X, but I keep thinking I should. I still love him even though he also left with no explanation, really NOTHING said about breaking up. So I have no idea and never will know what happened. He is most likely in another relationship already knowing how he hates being alone. And maybe he found her and left me for her, but I will never know and really don't want to know. I don't stalk him because I know it would hurt me at this time to know if he has moved on. So sad really...

 

I'm doing my best to move forward. Some days are great others are not. So the rollercoaster ride is getting old for me though. I'm truly sick of feeling sad, depressed and lonely. Hopefully we will all get off of this ride soon.

 

Hang in there!