He emailed - says he needs more time

[PrincessLinzay]

~Hey Sweet~

 

I know it's hard, but you have to do what you think is best for you. It really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, it's up to you in the long run. If you think the relationship is worth salvaging, I guess I just wouldn't reply to his email. See if he contacts you again, then try to get a better idea of what you're up against.

 

I guess to me, when I love someone, not seeing them, talking to them, or knowing what goes on in their life is torture. I wouldn't be able to remain in a relationship like that. I guess in all, I feel that if a relationship is really going to work, you have to work through your problems, not run away and ignore them. I feel that the NC he initiated in this instance is a cop out. A way to NOT deal with the issues at hand.

 

It's almost as though he's having an opportunity to move on, while keeping you on the backburner at the same time. I still don't think it's really fair, but I understand your reluctance to take a step at break up.

 

For the best of both worlds, I would just leave his email unanswered and from this point forth let him make all the effort. Keep yourself occupied as often as possible to take your mind off things. Look at it as an unspoken breakup and start moving forward, then if things do end up working out, you are independent and not so reliant on him for your happiness.

 

Good luck hun. And keep your head up.

[ocean9]

Sweet,

 

How are you feeling now? How is the day going for you?

[sweetsparkle]

hi everyone. i feel better today. i finally went out with my friends last night for the first time in weeks. and i was actually enjoying my time with them. i guess what i've come to realize is that no matter how much i dwell, i will not change how he feels nor will i change my current situation.

 

so here is what i've decided. i am not going to email him back. as princess pointed out, it's better to wait to see if he emails again and take it from there. also, because i still love him and my heart can't bear to just leave, i will give him the time he needs, BUT i will start moving on. i don't want to be the person i was last month - always crying, always checking my email, always talking to mutual friends to gauge any info on him. This month, I will focus on myself and also think whether this relationship is really right for me. i actually never sat down and thought about whether or not i wanted him. all i thought for the past month is whether he will come back to me.

 

also, i think i made a huge mistake by talking to mutual friends. i know some of them told him that i was really sad and that i missed him alot. so, i'm going to stop all contact for now.

 

thanks again everyone. because of all of you, i am stronger. i feel so cared for........

[arwen]

Hey sweetie!!

 

I am so happy to read your last posting! Virtual hugs all the way from north-europe!

 

You made this decision because you felt inside that you needed to get yourself out of this emotional rut. Funny, I actually like my moments of hitting that rock bottom all alone in the dark. Somehow I got used to finding myself there several times a year, and I have learned that the rock bottom is not the place where I hit the hard ground and die, it's the place where there is no possible way to feel worse than there, so it can only get better. Plus, the rock bottom is a good solid foundation to start the climb up again, right?

 

Jump up!

 

Try to find the joy of your existence outside the question if your relationship is ending or not. You have power and you will find a way to move on. Regardless if that's with or without him.

 

There will sure be times that you will feel yourself slipping on the way up, don't worry. Cry when you need to and throw the emotional mess out here on the forum. Venting helps

[Softmoonlight]

Sweet,

 

I'm so glad you are going to try to look through things differently this coming month. It will really give you a lot of dignity if he comes back and says "I don't want us to be together anymore." If you have the courage to say,"yeah I've been thinking things through and this isn't the relationship for me either," you won't sit the way most of us do, having piles of regret and embarrassment about begging someone back who never loved us enough to begin with.

 

Good for you. keep us posted on what happens. we are truly thinking of you and hope the best happens for you.

[shabazz]

first off, how old is this guy? I mean he must be older to be wanting to pay more attention to his career than to you? I just think that most people, not all people, make sure you understand that previous statement, when they say they need time (especially males) they are either involved in another relationship, aren't sure about you, or they just want to keep you around just to know you are there because you are comfortable. Turn the situation around, and put yourself in his shoes, and decide if the things you would say to him would mean anything I mentioned above. I hope that helps a little bit?