Guys post, girls read...

[corvidae]

I thought I'd start this thread in response to the thread asking women to write about common mistakes men make. So here's the idea, I thought it would be good for men to post their complaints about women here, and women can read and maybe learn a bit more about the male mind. Please, let's be constructive, nothing unpleasant. So guys, speak to the women, tell them common mistakes/assumptions etc they make and what you think they ought to do differently

[Scout]

I really think this thread is a good opportunity for women to understand how men perceive them sometimes, but I urge everyone not to turn this into a female bashing/male bashing marathon. Or else it defeats the whole purpose.

[shuntaro603]

sometimes girls complain that guys are insensitive and self-centered and most of them always go out with those insensitive jerks.

[Double J]

Many girls tend to be manipulative, whether they're conscious of it or not. They know a guy likes them, but they won't tell them they're not interested in order to enjoy the attention they're receiving. I think the worst thing a guy could do is be content in a friendship with a girl he really really likes. Chances are, it's only going to remain a friendship, and he's going to be thought of as the emotional counselor and only get sucked in even more.

 

I've met girls who complain about a certain guy all the time because he's a jerk, he's insensitive, etc., and then you see her spend the following weekend with him. Seriously, these girls have no self-respect. They're only carried by their emotions. Girls sometimes have to quit trying to play the role of "I can change him." Just like us guys can't change a girl, they usually can't change us.

 

Many girls will just continue to fall for the same jerks and routine until they're ready to settle down and have kids.

[KBlade]

think more with logic as opposed to your emotions.

I think this is a biological thing that has developed over millions of years. I'm sure I heard that somewhere anyway, like why guys are better at map reading.

 

Anyway, here goes...

 

They expect you to just "Know" what they want, like you are a mind reader.

 

If a girl is wrong about something and you prove to her that she is wrong and there is no possible way she could be right, its your fault she was wrong

 

basically girls seem to say one thing but mean another and then because you don't get this "girl language" you're insensitive. lol ](*,) link removed

 

Luv them tho

[cleverme123]

Just have to throw this out there. I use to say that men didn't mature until they were 30 something. But the truth is that women like to do the bad boy thing until there well into their 20's. It is like a curiosity thing. The what if's. And females are stubborn and bull headed which is why we always go back into the pattern of dating the same types of men that we complain about.

 

So like one day reason strikes us and we get the urge to want to settle down, (don't worry guys it does happen) we look for people that show some aspectes of being a good person and think of how they would be as a father/husband. If all goes well, you don't get burnt a million and a half times trying to get there and if not, you get rather bitter.

 

In the end, we always are just looking for someone to put the pieces back together and take a lot of crap before realizing we are in love and quit dishing every emotional test we can give. No one ever said it was easy.

[kalshane]

My chief complaint would be how a woman will knock herself out to be with you in the beginning. She'll go all out hook you in to her. Suggesting fun things to do, Loads and loads of sex, wanting to hang with your buddies, going to your favorite places, and doing all the things you're into, romantic notes, gifts and surprises, did I mention lots of sex?

 

Then, once they have you and you decide to commit.....pshhhhhhfttttt. It all fizzles out. They get complacent and lazy about the whole relationship.

[jimmyjoe]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

 

 

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put

it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us

complaining about you leaving it down.

 

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the

tides. Let it be.

 

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it

that way.

 

1. Crying is blackmail.

 

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints

do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just

say it!

 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every

question.

 

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's

what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In

fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

 

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the

ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

 

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it

done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it

yourself.

 

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during

commercials.

 

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.

We have no idea what mauve is.

 

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like

nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the

hassle.

 

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an

answer you don't want to hear.

 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is

fine...Really.

 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to

discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster

trucks.

 

1. You have enough clothes.

 

1. You have too many shoes.

 

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

 

1. Thank you for reading this.

 

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know

men really don't mind that? It's like camping

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Sorry I had to, found them on another forum.

[Abacab]

Here are some observations:

 

Women's brains are like hard drives. Anything wrong you say or do will be reminded to you even after ten years!

 

Women play hard to get. When you get married, there's always older girlfriends asking themselves why they didn't remain hooked-up with you!

 

Women communicate with their girlfriends and mothers. With you, they talk.

 

Women are conscious of their appearance. Although so are we, we couldn't care less.

 

Women love organization and tidiness and put everything back to where they belong. However, keys, books, cd's and other stuff are more easily found where they were left by us.

 

Happy new year to all of you!

[corvidae]

My complaint about women: women seem to be under the impression that when it comes to starting/getting relationships their sole duty is to exist. I saw a TV program the other day which explored the dynamics of male/female attraction, and for one 'test' (I won't bother explaining the object of the test as it's not important to my point) they had an attractive female sit on a wall and watched to see if men would approach her. When hardly any did the narrator concluded men were 'rubbish'. This was half-joking, but still! It illustrates a point that can be seen anywhere you go, that women think their job is to sit, or stand or just 'be' and men ought to come up to them and win their approval, sort of like in that movie Kung Fu where those kids have to wait patiently outside the temple to prove they're worthy of entering. And when men don't do what women want them to do, they act like there's something wrong with men! I overheard two women complaining that men never come to 'chat them up' in clubs. They were attractive women, so one of their friends said something like 'what's wrong with men, tut!'. She tutted! Tutted! Honestly. And, to top it all off, women don't realise how hard it is for men to do all the initial leg work, so we don't get the respect we deserve. Several women I have spoken to have expressed the notion that men 'get used to it' and thereforeeee don't feel the pangs of rejection like a woman would!!! No really, some women actually said that. Go ask some yourself, it seems to be a commonly held belief. I'd just like to remind you here that women are supposed to be 'empathic' and 'masters of body language'. They hide it well don't they. Also, a girl I knew once remarked that she thought it would be easier being a man because then you could 'just ask someone you liked out'. I am baffled, utterly baffled, as to what she meant by this. If a woman reading this post is able to explain then please do. I am baffled as 1. how being a woman prevents you just asking someone out and 2. why she thinks all the fear and humiliation of rejection is any less for a man. Baffling.

 

OK, here's the last thing, and that will end my mornings rant. It's when women say they 'can't get a boyfriend'. By my experience, what they mean is, they CAN get a boyfriend (someone probably asked them out not long ago and they said no), but they just complain anyway. When a man says he can't get a woman he means he can't get a female human of any variety to go out with him. Ah well. Those are my complaints. Hope they are in some way constructive.

[69_king]

well said, corvidae! Women, for the most part, expect men to do most of the work in dating. Its just a tradition that has been ingrained in them.

 

Although, one thing that does bug me is when a girl actually does make a move on me, even something simple like smiling or just being a little extra friendly, but then when I try to do the same thing or ask them out or something they say no and suddenly drop me. I thought this was something to do with me personally but I've analyzed what I've said and how I've said it and it could in no way be a turnoff. I think they suddenly try to play hard to get or something at that point. Well, I don't play that game!

 

Men are people too! We are not unemotional robots that just go around looking for sex all the time.

 

 

Another double standard is how it is perfectly acceptable for a women to say that she is looking for someone with a solid financial future. Like it is their right and they will settle for nothing less. Those are the kind of women to stay away from.

[MetalJoe]

First post from me, found the forum totally by accident...

 

Although, one thing that does bug me is when a girl actually does make a move on me, even something simple like smiling or just being a little extra friendly, but then when I try to do the same thing or ask them out or something they say no and suddenly drop me. I thought this was something to do with me personally but I've analyzed what I've said and how I've said it and it could in no way be a turnoff.

 

It happens a lot and it really annoys me. I've had the old "can we just be friends", the "I don't see you that way" or the "I think it's best we don't see each other again/for a while".

 

The worst example is that of the last date I went on (heh, don't ask when!). It was a blind date and we got on really well, or so I thought. We laughed and talked almost all day, she even took me lingerie shopping (I kid you not). At the end of the date, she gave me a hug and a kiss and said she'd had a great time and that we should do it again. I phoned a couple of days later to arrange something and she told me that she didn't want to see me again. The friend who set us up was at a loss as to what had happened.

 

I think they suddenly try to play hard to get or something at that point. Well, I don't play that f***ing game!

 

From past experience, playing "hard to get" means "not interested". I've learnt the hard way and won't repeat the mistake again.

[Santa]

I agree with the above, especially corvidae.

Also I hate it when you see a girl digs you, you ask her out, you go on a date, and you think it should all go good from there, and then like when it doesn't, I get confused. Once I said something about this on the date like "How come you seemed so into me before, but yet you've basically made no moves etc" or something like that, and she got really annoyed at me, saying something about me being a bad person because I went out with her because I thought she liked me, or something. Doesn't make much sense... But I think she was living in some dream world, where I had no idea she liked me, and that I should treat her like a princess and win her or something... I think i've learnt my lesson there - pretend you don't know, and act like you need to impress her...

Also, when girls chat me up at bars etc, I get kind of intimidated, so usually make an excuse to leave very quickly. This isn't because I don't like them, I just feel uncomfortable if I have no choice, and they are someone i've never even seen before. But still it is brave of the these girls, just I think they would be more successfull if they made eye contact a few times first, to give me time to think, and then they came up, rather than coming upto me when im chatting to a mate or something and not in the mood. Thank you.

[Ceema-k]

Cool topic.

Anyway, I am a believer in equal rights for both sexes, but in the dating/relationship realm my beliefs are a bit more traditional.

 

1.) Please don't compete with men and be a "ball buster". Men should be men, and women should be women in relationships and dating. Men do not seek out relationships so they can butt heads with someone. They already do that every day in their professional lives and in their daily routines. I think there is this societal pressure for guys to "be a man" all the time, but in the 21st century, the defintion of a real man has certainly blurred. The last thing we guys wants is to have a hard day or week and retire to our personal lives to decompress, only to do battle with a partner.

 

So please, let your man be the man. Love him, support him and stand by his side.

 

2.) Put your money where your mouth is. Girls talk about wishing guys would stop playing games, but they perpetuate so many of them. I really feel that most regular, nice guy's approach to dating is numbingly simplistic. Games are used to protect ourselves, but only to a point. If girls are still stuck on the "bad boys", they should recognize it in themselves and not accept dates with anyone who even mildly whiffs of a typical "nice guy". Doing so only wastes everyone's time. If girls recognize a nice guy for what he is, they should as much of the game-playing as humanly possible. No one likes jumping through too many hoops.

 

3.) Guys appreciate sincerity a lot more than mixed messages.

[corvidae]

Santa! You get girls chatting you up in bars! Lucky you. The most I've had is someone who may have winked at me or may have something in their eye...it was hard to tell.

[MetalJoe]

Bah! Santa gets all the luck!

[youngin]

playing "hard to get" is evil and wont work. dont do it. leading some1 on is also evil. dont do it either. 8)

[RayF]

i'm only 20 but all it's taken is to land one amazing woman for me to know EXACTLY what to avoid in future women. (this is also why i'm having such a hard time letting go of her).

 

But i also know my worth as a man, as a good guy, intelligent and good looking, hard working and honest. Willing to put allot into a relationship. I won't accept any less from a woman.

 

1. On Game playing.

 

You avoid my calls intentionally? that means i think you're either

 

a) not interested in me or

 

b) playing hard to get

 

this equals

 

c) I'm not interested in someone like you

 

 

2. On approaching men.

 

I hate being rejected. it dosn't matter how much confidence you hae this will always and forever suck. Girls you should try it sometime then you might know why allot of men just won't do it. even if i wouldn't be interested in you right off the bat that might change if youn put YOUR neck on the line and approached me instead.

 

I won't stop approaching girls but girls, i'd expect the same thing in return, it would be nice.

 

3. On the bad-boy

 

I could respect a woman who fell for a bad boy but when she realized his type she didn't put up with him.

 

this is the type of woman who knows what kind of man will actually treat her right. And in turn, this is the type of woman who will actually treat a man right.

 

she has enough self respect to know how these things work and what she deserves.

 

also a huge turn off is if you're oer 21 and still falling for these types... youre way too old for that, or even if you've slept with 10 of these guys but now realize the mistake you made? I'd still be allot more atteacted to a woman who realized this earlier or right off the bat. I've always known that i would only sleep with a woman that was special... and there are women who think the same way... but they are very few and far between.

 

3. on the type of qualities i'm looking for...

 

1. Honesty... always and there can be no acceptions to this. and even if this isn't the norm with women... also you have to say what you mean and mean what you say. "I'm not mad" means I'm not mad. period. If you are mad then you also need to tell me too, if i love you i'll respect your feelings always.

 

2. friendlyness to people in general but that dosn't equal being flirty. i won't flirt when i'm with a woman and if i love her with all my heart i woudn't even have the urge to.

 

3. Good morals and values. Means you treat people selflessly, do not lie or cheat, know whats important in life, are not superficial (and caring about personal appearance for you or your potential partner does not equal superficiality by the way). Kindhearted etc.

 

4. you're not the overly sexual type. i don't concider fooling around and especially sleeping with random people an attractive trait in a partner. Not saying you have to be a virgin because i think being physical with your lover is very important, but sexual encounters with people who are practically strangers is not cool with me.

 

5. somone who cares enough to challenge me to be a better person.

 

and the thing that sucks is that you'll have to go through allot of bad ones before you find the good ones. but it helps ALLOtifyou know what you want and can recognize it right off the bat.

 

Keep in mind i'm one guy and many might not care about some of this things i do but this is important.

 

Ladies reading this... about the guys posting in this thread, these are the types of guys you say you want but don't go for... pay attention.

 

Guys in this thread... know you're worth. there are good chicks out there find THEM and don't put up with the stuff we're complaning about in this thread. Good, pretty, wholesome and honest chicks are like one in a hundred if not thousand but they're out there. the thing is you have to make it happen and will probably have to deal with a ton of rejection and rejecting until you find something that works.

[OceanEyes]

Sorry, I know I'm female, but I HAD to say something about this:

 

Then, once they have you and you decide to commit.....pshhhhhhfttttt. It all fizzles out. They get complacent and lazy about the whole relationship.

 

This has actually ruined 2 relationships for me. Men are just as guilty of this as women - if not more from what I've experienced. I'm not trying to group all men in the same boat, so I'm sorry if it sounds that way.

 

Of course both men and women become comfortable in their relationships after a while. BUT - I think the main reason why I find my current boyfriend so irresistible even after 1.5 years, is that he still makes the same efforts that he did in the beginning to:

 

- Be a GREAT listener. This is something, that in my experience, I've noticed that men can sometimes forget is just as important as the day you met. After a year or so has passed, I always found that my ex-boyfriends would barely even make an effort to listen about something I was talking about. But of course, when THEY had a bad day, I would drop everything and BE THERE. I hated to always have to wonder whether or not he was actually listening to me - and - I don't mean about small trivial things either. Hey, I sympathize that a guy can't be 100% attentive at all times (neither can I!), but when something is really eating at me, I want to know that he's going to listen and support me.

 

- Not become sexually LAZY. I still make the same efforts sexually as I did 1.5 years ago, and I expect the same.

 

- Not get so comfortable that you start 'coasting' in the relationship, and forget that your woman is still the same girl that you first started dating; which means that she still likes romance, she still likes to feel appreciated and respected, and most importantly, just because you've been in a relationship for a while, it does not mean that a date constitutes of sitting in front of the t.v. watching The Simpsons. It gets boring after a while doing the same things over and over again. I have noticed through my past relationships, that men become creatures of comfort too.

[kalshane]

Yeah, you're right, men are just as guilty of it as women are. I have plenty of female friends who'll testify to that. Its just my experience. As a matter of fact we do a lot of the same things we're all talking about on this particular topic, right? I'm the exact same way in a relationship, much like you are. It has happened to the both of us before, so obviously you know what I'm talking about, and its the worst so see someone just kind of go on auto pilot.

[youngin]

superficial (and caring about personal appearance for you or your potential partner does not equal superficiality by the way).

 

i agree with most of your other stuff, but that is a perfect example of being superficial

 

from link removed:

 

superficial

 

adj 1: being or affecting or concerned with a surface

 

appearances are on the surface

[Jimbo10]

What makes me steaming mad is being sterotyped. Anyone who remembers my other posts knows that! I find it so rude, and sexist, either stereotyping men or women, or people of certain ages or jobs, or anything.

 

I don't like it when girls are so empowered they cant' stop duming males.