ummm

[overit1607307174]

Well heres the deal. my bf and i have been together for 3 months as of today. I really care about him and he cares about me. We have already gone to 3rd and we are planning on having sex sometime soon. but i was wondeirng, what are the chances of me getting pregnant if he uses a condom? We are both virgins and i really am not too sure what to do. I really want to do this, but im scared about either getting pregnant or getting caught.

 

so i guess im asking, what are my chances of getting pregnant and anyone got any tips?

 

also, is it common for girls to bleed from being fingered?? I hope that doesnt sound weird, but yeah, we were experementing and things may have gotten a bit too rough, but prolly not as rough as sex would really be.... is there something wrong with me or does this kind of thing happen???

[Caldus]

How old are you two?

[overit1607307174]

16 and 17

[ticklebug]

you really need to stop and think...hard...if having sex with someone after only dating for such a short time is the right thing for you to do...it seems as if the two of you are really rushing into it...why are you going so far so fast? For most people being "cared" about isn't enough...your first time should mean more than that to you.

 

if you two are both virgins...yes, it is common to bleed after being fingered...if no one else has ever done it to you then he ruptured your hymen (more crudely your cherry) if you have had it done before by someone else...he was being too rough with you...

 

yes, you can get pregnant with a condom...they slip off, break, can have defects...no birth control is 100% effective.

[emma34]

ppl need to realize, ppl are going to have sex no matter how much you lecture them...geez. ok, condoms are like 95% effective or something, but tht really doesn't matter. since you guys are being responsible enuf to plan ahead...you should really seriously consider birth control pills. its an easy thing to do, and if your using condoms, and on the pill, you won't have to stress so much about getting pregnant. but still use a condom. ask your health nurse, or doctor, or whomever about the rest. hopei helpd!

good question, and way to be responsible.

[ticklebug]

emma - it's disappointing that you find someone caring about the emotional well being of somone as a "lecture". Sex is a very big decision and is not something that should be taken lightly...

 

condoms are like 95% effective or something, but tht really doesn't matter.

 

how can you say that it's effectiveness doesn't matter?

 

overit -

 

birth control pills do require a trip to the gynecologist and at the age you are, the doctor will have to consult your parents. If you do become sexually active, you should start seeing a gynecologist regularly anyway, it is the responsible thing to do as sex can lead to more complications with your body than just pregnancy. If you get on birth control, you will have to be on it at least three months, and be very careful that you take the pills as directed every day otherwise your chance of getting pregnant is still high.

 

there is a lot mor to consider when it comes to having sex than just "doing it" if you want to be responsible about it...

[overit1607307174]

i really want to be responsible about this, and i mean if it means waiting then i guess thats what i'll do. i want to have sex with him, but if it means possibly getting pregnant and messing up my life at this young age then i'll wait.....

 

however, i have never done anything in return to him for what hes done for me, and i want to be able to do that for him, but im scared of maybe hurting him, and well, im just not 100% sure of what to do. but i want to do it for him. i understand that he'd kind of guide me through what to do, but umm.... well, when he cums, do i swallow or what? ive always kinda been confused of what to do about that..... help.....

[ticklebug]

kinda wondered if you were considering going all the way to reciprocate...

 

you should never feel obligated when it comes to sex to do anything you aren't ready to do...

 

he may or may not be able to guide you...if it is going to be his first time for that as well...it's going to be a learning experince for both of you...

 

swallowing, or not, is a woman's personal choice...but quite frankly, even that should be done with a condom on if you want to be safer about it...and he needs to clean himself up extremely well afterwards...

 

lts say he touches himself and then does something for you...or you touch yourself afterwards...long story short...it takes one of his sperm and one of your eggs to make a baby...and in even one drop of semen, there can be thousands of sperm...

[overit1607307174]

I dont feel pressured to do anything at all. Hes kinda tried and i said no, and he respected that and didnt push it any further. ok now another question, if he uses a condom, would i have to worry about swallowing or not?

 

and i understand about cleaning up real well after, i had a friend who got pregnant that way. I understand the consequences and i think he and i are both responsible enough to take it that far.

[ticklebug]

nope...you wouldn't have to worry about swallowing if you used a condom...it catches in the condom...

[overit1607307174]

just making sure. thanks for all your help!

[ticklebug]

no problem!

[Meow18]

In my opinion, you should hold off on the sex for now. You haven't been together that long and you are young. I believe that people shouldn't have sex unless they are responsible (by using protection, such as condoms) and are willing to accept the consequences if by chance you do get pregnant, o get an std. Its reality, so you have to make sure that you can handle that part of sex too. Even with using a condom, or being on the pill, you can still get pregnant. There's no way to protect yourself 100% when doing any sexual activities. Of course, if you are on the pill and using condoms, its very unlikely you will get pregnant, however, still possible.

 

When giving oral to your boyfriend, you can swallow or not swallow. Whatever you feel most comfortable with. Remember, its not all about your boyfriend. You need to feel comfortable and enjoy it too. Don't expect to be an expert at first. It takes time to really know what you are doing. Ask him to tell you what feels good.

 

Don't feel like you need to do anything to him because he does things for you. I mean, its nice and all, but doing sexual things is a big step in a relationship. YOu need to do what you feel comfortable with, not what you feel like you owe. Sex is an act of love, so it should be shared with someone you love. However, there are millions of other ways to show your love for each other, so don't jump into sex too soon or just with anyone. Also realize that you are young and you may not be with this guy forever. Of course you may be, but you might not be as well. Would you be ok having sex with him even if you aren't with him forever?

[overit1607307174]

Ive never felt pressured by him. It was actually my idea and of course him being a guy, he didnt have a problem with it. *shrug* I dont feel like I have to do anything back for him, but I want to. i think it may kind of make him feel a bit upset when i say no, the only reason im saying no though is cuz i have no real clue of what im doing. so can anyone help so i dont feel like a total idiot by doing something wrong. this is something i really wanna do for him.

[Day_Walker]

Im not gonna sit here and lecture you about you being too young or its not the appropriate time for you to have sex. If you choose to have sex then you need to be prepared and that means taking birth control and being prepared if a pregnancy does happen. For male condom use (w/o spermicide) the lowest rate of pregnancy is 3% and the typical rate of pregnancy is 14%.