We are talking today

[danman794]

its been 41 days since the breakup (I counted, I don't just remember) and I told her id like to talk with her. I know that right now we can't and shouldn't be together and I feel like I am finally ready to talk to her about why it ended and apologize for some of the things I did near the end. I will tell her we should go NC again. I really just want to say whats been on my mind so that I can hopefully continue with my life without the thoughts at the back of my mind. I'd like to here her side and I believe I am ready for whatever she might say. I was wondering if anyone had any tips or have done this before and have advice. Thanks!

[mhowe]

Why do you need tips to speak your mind and listen to what she has to say?

[BigKK]

I went in knowing what I wanted to say, rehearsed it in my head over and over, and was prepared for anything. Although I was going in to win her back, and learned a valuable lesson

[jemoeder]

so how did it go>??

[gxzone]

I am also curious about this. I know NC is preached heavily in these parts but I personally feel like saying what is on your chest and getting it out may be relieving for some. Please follow up with results.

 

FWIW, I have done a 'talk after breakup' however its been 13 years or more and cannot remember if it helped or not. I think we had our talk about 3-4 days after officially breaking up and to be honest it didn't really hit me until we talked (in person, in private) that we had broken up. I remember crying walking on the way home, but at the same time it may prevent denial that its over and encourage acceptance? I'm moving towards acceptance but keep having that 'what if' and wondering what was going through her head at the end prior to the sudden NC she pulled on me that broke me so badly (was reasonably OK until then).

[butterscotchbiscuit]

i don't see what the point of even meeting with them is. you're going to contact them to say you don't want to have anymore contact? sounds confusing

[gxzone]

I for one would of liked a warning from my ex before she suddenly went NC. It left a lot of questions in my head that I struggled and suffered through trying to answer. I'm convinced it has lengthened my healing. You can't just suddenly stop asking those questions, it polluted and still pollutes my head! Acceptance is very hard when the only truth - the source, suddenly stops speaking to you with no warning.

[mhowe]

The source of "the truth" is the dumper. When someone tells you they are no longer interested in being in a relationship....there is nothing more to know.