Are these enough signals?

[Stinkweed]

yeh, you're absolutely right. Seems like girls nowadays just don't know how to say no. And I think it's a lot meaner to not say it although you mean it than just saying it, which is being honest. I would call her, but I've no idea of what I could say. It would, again, be awkward. Plus, she might get angry, cause there's a reason why she hasn't called... So, yeah, once again, thanks for your help, everyone. Peace.

[randy]

so have u seen her since in school??? If she has she said anything to you?

[Stinkweed]

Ok. Well, yes, I've seen her, but most of the time she's been far away and she's always with friends, cause, like I said, it's lunch. And, no she has never said anything, and she hasn't even looked at me. Heck, she probably doesn't remember me.

[NoComply]

ok, i read your first post, but cant be bothered reading over 13 more pages lol, so.. ill just give it a go.

you said she seems less shy with her friends, that is obvious, shes knows them more, and will be very relaxed around them [2 do with sub-conscious, she feels safer] , once you get yo know her more she will be alot less shy, try taggin along with her and her friends some time, there she will be more relaxed [as with friends] and you can talk 2 a less-shy-whatsername. hope that helped, even slightly.

[Stinkweed]

yeah, well, that'd actually a good idea... The problem is that she never called back, so I doubt she's interested... Best wishes.

[striderhiryu81]

Well, its a shame that this girl had to prove herself to be like lots of other girls. Its funny how they expect a lot of honesty and chivalry from us and then when we actually open up and are honest they say that we come accross as desperate or clingy or something like that. Then they just never call back.

 

Its all too amusing. I learned by going through this all myself in my younger days haha.

 

Have you ever seen that "Boys Lie" t-shirt? Ok, sure we do...but I'm sure its because some girl broke that boys heart in the past by lying.

 

About your present situation. It doesn't look good and you've already accepted that. I just think that you should call her again and make concrete plans...even if she doesn't answer. Since this is a last ditch effort, leave a message saying that you want to see a movie on Friday and you'd like her to come along. Don't worry about being rude or short with the message. She's being rude to you by not calling back so take charge of the situation... say, "Hey, I was thinking about taking you to see a movie this weekend. How's Friday at 8 sound? Let me know if you can make it or not...

 

If she doesn't call then go ahead and "lose" her phone number. As a matter of fact, I would have lost it the first time she didn't return my call but really, anything could have happened so lets give her the benefit of the doubt this time. She has a deadline of Friday at 12 noon. If she calls on Friday at 6pm, then tell her "well, since you didn't call I figured you weren't interested...I already made other plans." Say this even if those "other plans" are sitting at home on the computer.

 

Don't let her jerk you around. Like i said, if she calls you at the last minute(pretty much anytime on Friday) tell her that you made other plans already. If she wants to reschedule then that is your call.

 

Don't worry about missing out on a chance with her because she should have called you back the first time. Its common courtesy. Its respect. And even if she couldn't call, you've seen her at school and she doesn't even say hi. The only real reason you are calling this time is as a last ditch effort....giving her the benfit of the doubt, and to pretty much close the books and "I wonder if's..." that would eventually pop up in your mind. This is her last test. Hopefully she passes, but don't hold your breath.

[Stinkweed]

Ok, I can do that... But I hope it's ok if I adjust the deadline till 4 pm, cause at 12 noon I'm still in school... Or I dunno, it could be till 6 pm thursday? Oh well, I guess it doesn't matter that much either...

[striderhiryu81]

yeah, the deadline is up to you. i was just making suggestions.

[Stinkweed]

Well, I haven't done anything... I mean, I wish I could talk to her directly, because it would be less awkward (even though I wouldn't know what to say, cause it still would be very awkward...). Oh well... I dunno, lol. I guess I'll try calling tomorrow...

[Stinkweed]

I wanted to let y'all know that I didn't call again, but I also didn't need to. I said hi to her and had to call her name various times probably because she had her cellphone in hand and was trying to call someone, so at first I thought she was ignoring me, but then she turned around and it didn't seem like it and I said hi and she said hi too and smiled. But then the following day she passed a little bit more distant but with a friend and she didn't look at where I was but then after she had passed she turned around with a weird look on her face. And that's how it's been since... I've seen her a couple of times since and both times she seems to have seen me, but I don't care, I just ignore her and she turns around and I dunno if she's ignoring me or talking crap about me, and I don't care (and if I find out she really is talking crap about me, I'll get one of my female friends to kick the crap out of her... just kidding, lol, although it'd be cool )... lol, well, before you say this is bad, it's not, cause I see who she truly is and I, ummm, dislike her, lol, just to avoid using any other words that would express how much I dislike her, lol. And well, thank god I didn't end up with her or something, cause I'd never wanna be with a person like that... Best wishes and thank you all. 8)

 

 

END OF THREAD

[randy]

ya to bad it turned out like that. I would just keep on ignoring her as well. After all she did pretty much ignore you to start with.

[Lily04]

Hey OP, something sorta similar happened with me...it's so f*cking frustrating, I know!! I met a guy, there was what I would think 'instant attraction', but then the next time I saw him he just completely ignored me pretty much & tried to avoid my gaze altogether. He gave me his phone # though when we were all chummy (talked for over an hr), if I needed any help with anything. So I called him afterwards, sorta despearate because the exam was that day and I needed help. I think the problem here enlies in the fact that he is getting a Ph.D and I'm still an undergrad (oops, did I sorta forget to mention that..? heh. ) and most grad students think of themselves as being naturally superior to undergrads such that the two can never date (even though there's only about 5 yrs age difference -- I'm 20, he's 25...)

 

So anyway, after the course I e-mailed him saying thanks for all the help in the course, and was like 'and I apologize if I offended you in any way, I should have been more distant...' This was the impression I got from him since he was basically ignoring me like a true ass-in-the-making.

 

And this is getting long i'm sorry, I just saw him yesterday and it got me all riled up so I'm purging my feelings on here. no one has to read this, but it's sorta helping to clear things up...

 

BUT UGH, since then everytime he's seen me he always makes a point to wave, or smile and nod, or something equally gay, probably to just make sure that he doesn't appear immature/distant, whatever. In other words he doesn't want to feel guilty, so he projects the exact opposite of my accusation. In psychology, it's called 'reaction-formation'. The effect on me, is that I see through it and wish he would stop. I want him to go back to ignoring me because at least I won't feel like an idiot. And after that e-mail I accidently ran into his class just as it was starting; he was closing the door, and we just stood there, staring at each other in confusion, before I looked at the door number pretending to be in the wrong room and skirted out. Now I don't know if he thinks I'm a masters student or what....

 

Yesterday I saw him at the library; he was with some friends and I was about to go on my cell phone when he was getting off the elevator and saw me and did an automatic 180 pivot, a friendly wave and smile, and just looked deep into my eyes. I gave a quick & confident wave, as if I didn't care, before rolling my eyes and talking on the phone. The girl he was with just stared at me, her face scrunched in a scrawl of instant displeasure. Almost disgust. I just smirked, and looked away, secretly glad that I made some girl who's probably obsessed with him, feel jealously to the point that she hated me. And I hated her as well. It was a good feeling.

 

Hmm..for some reason that moment seemed to feel like 2 mins. instead of what I imagine was probably seconds? He took a step forward, as if he was going to approach me to talk, but I just turned away and started talking on my cell phone.

 

Let me say that I dislike him for many reasons, but still for some inexplainable reason somewhat like him. I might have accidently blushed when I saw him (probably) but I really just want to never see him again, and for him to stop pretending to be nice because I know he probably has a girlfriend and isn't interested (or else he would've e-mailed me..he has my e-mail & phone # I think) so really, this whole issue is moot in my books.

 

BAH...whatever. Sorry, just had to type that. I just hate it when people are not genuine with me or act nice for the sake of niceties, but without meaning. I'm glad my reaction was to just dismiss him yesterday, instead of talking with him, although I was also sorta firnedly in that I waved back and smiled (automatically, I'm not rude enough to just ignore him when he literally stopped and turend around and waved while his other 5 friends just stood there with expressions of 'WTF' bemusement.)

 

---------------------

 

But if you don't want to read all that. Here's how you get over her: remind yourself that you're way better than her. Convince yourself of that. My approach: sure this guy is getting a Ph.D he's supposedly smart, but he acts & dresses immature, my presentations skills are way better than his, I'm in many ways more mature and logical, and I'm going to be a lawyer, so I will probably get more money than him (despite the fact that he's finishing a PhD at a top university, I know he just wants to be a music magazine editor and is in many ways, a douche.)

 

Thus, I really hope I don't see him again or ever talk with him. Because I have a feeling that he will ask if I'm in my masters, or try to get around to that, and knowing me, I'll lie and say I'm taking a graduate course in undergrad (which is technically allowed) and make up some elaborate story to make it sound believable, because I can usually pull stuff off like that on the spot. Or in the alternative I'll tell him the truth and then he'll snicker and think he's better than me...which he's not. UGH.

 

Overanalyze much? hehe. I need one of those livejournals or something. =)

[Lily04]

oops double post sorry.

[fallen]

Wow, you're definitely obsessed with him. You're also a good storyteller. Kudos for that...

 

Lily, honestly, just forget about him. If he wants to talk to you, don't lie about it, just be yourself. If he likes you, he'll ask you out. Otherwise, as I always say, move on.

[Lily04]

thanks, I can't believe anyone read that. =) Yeah, I still probably like him....although I've convinced myself that he's a douche and I know deep down that nothing wuold actually work so that's alright. I prefer more of an academic, which he's not. I read an article of his where he admitted grad school was a mistake for him so I know that. Why he at the same time acts all prestigious & sh*t is beyond me. But it just reinforces the 'belief' that I hate him and so it's fine by me.

[Stinkweed]

Yeh, well, I usually don't post again in the same thread after I already typed "END OF THREAD" especially if I've done it twice. But I thought your story was interesting, though different to mine, lol. It's different b/c this girl doesn't even have the decency to say hi, lol (maybe that's a good thing, cause I think I'm far from liking her now...). And well, haven't run into her anymore, but at the cost of not being able to go to my usual hang outs... Plus, I supsect those last times I ran into her she was talking trash about me cause of the way she quickly turned around and talked to her friend... That ticked me off, but at least I haven't run into her anymore... Thank god... If I keep running into her and she still keeps talking trash about me I might consider getting my friend (who is a girl, but shes like almost 6 feet tall... almost as tall as I am, lol) to beat her up (lol, j/k... but not really ). I did feel really angry last time, though... It was like "omg, I can't even be safe here anymore... " Well, good luck to you Lily on getting over that dude... he doesn't sound like a good person... But at least he's got manners, though, lol...

[Lily04]

haha, sorry I guess I didn't notice the "END OF THREAD" part. I guess I just wanted to rant as well.

 

Thanks for your opinion though. And you're right, the girl does sound like a jerk. I hope things work out for you...and yeah you're right, this guy I *was* crushing on (ummm that's right, I'm completely over him...) does seem to have some sense of decency/maturity to him. I think I've over being obsessed about him, although crushing...? I dunno.