Are these enough signals?

[Stinkweed]

Dude, it says:

 

So I decide to go to lunch everyday after that and one day something horrible happens: I see her with her BF. This hit me like a ton of bricks, no feeling to describe how I felt. Just h-o-r-r-b-l-e to say at least.

 

It just sounds so familiar... It's just my luck I just know she has to have a bf, although she looks sooo different from those girls who have bf's all the time. Anyway, today she sat in front of me instead, and there's this dude, who apparently is her friend (I don't think he's her bf unless something weird is going on, b/c I saw him hugging and kissing this other girl... I know he's at least her friend, b/c he is one of the only ppl who talk to her in that class) who sat in front of her and she didn't talk to him... He had to turn around and talk first for her to talk... Now, it could be that she's like that with everyone, or she just didn't feel like talking, OR she just doesn't talk to dudes all that often b/c she has a bf...

 

Anyway, I don't think she's interested also, b/c today I was looking at her as she came in, b/c I was going to say hello, but she was like trying not to look my way. I dunno, that's what it felt like, at least. Can't say it's confusing, because it almost makes sense....

 

Lol, I don't think I wanna "fish" anymore. It's tiresome... I haven't completely confirmed she has a bf... So, well, I guess I'll still try tomorrow then... But I just don't wanna go through another "girl kicks me hard to the curb" episode... Just been there, and I think I had enough of it... Anyway, I'll just do what I can... Thanks dude, I'll post tomorrow my final post (most likely an "I dind't do it" post, lol... sigh* the loss of motivation). Best wishes.

[striderhiryu81]

Its a bummer to hear that you psyched yourself out this way. Here we were grooming you to become "The Ladies Man". haha.

 

I'm kidding, I've been there and I feel like that right now. My friend and his girlfriend both told me that their friend thinks I'm "hot" as she put it. With looks on my side my personality can't possibly mess things up, yet I'm still a little nervous. I know where you are at but I'm going to take the next step when I can and so will you!

 

The way I see it though is that you only have this one chance. Didn't you say that you are pretty sure that you won't have a class with her next semester? Why not just do it? There is no harm in asking her because you really don't know if she has a BF or not. She isn't going to kick you to the curb, she will have to gracefully decline giving out her number if she has a boyfriend. If she doesn't have a BF then she just might give it to you.

 

Don't use her guy friend in the class as a gauge of how she will treat you...she just might be into you. Again, even if she isn't into you at least you checked her off of your list of "Girls That I No Longer Need to Waste My Time On".

 

Just say that you know she will be on vacation, but that you'd like to get to know her better when classes resume, and that you would like to keep in contact. She will respond to this in some form with an "okay sure" or "well I have a boyfriend". If it is the "okay" then simply say "Great, whats your phone number?" Then write it down and tell her to have fun over the break and that you'll see her later.

 

Then get out of there.

 

If she says she has a boyfriend, then just say, "alright, well, it was fun having you in my class, maybe we'll run into each other next semester, later."

 

Then get out of there.

 

That simple. If you get shot down then take it like a man...its a battle scar now and scars build character. If you never risk rejection then you'll never succeed!

[Stinkweed]

Okok. I'll do it then. You're both right, there's nothing to loose. But, strider, I have a question... what did you mean by:

 

Don't use her guy friend in the class as a gauge of how she will treat you...she just might be into you.

????

 

What I meant is that she probably treats everyone that way and she just doesn't talk much to anyone but those girls I've seen her a couple of times with in the hallways...

 

Anyway, ok, I'll try my best tomorrow. Wish me luck. Thanks and Best wishes. Cya till then.

[striderhiryu81]

Ok I must have misunderstood what you were saying. I thought you were backing off because she barely said a word to him. I was confused.

 

Anyways, great to hear that you are back in the game! Don't let her cause you to forfeit without even throwing the first pitch! Heh heh.

 

Nothing to lose! And perhaps a great girl to gain!

[SomeShyGuy]

Hey, you can't ***ASSUME*** that she has a bf, that just complicates things. If it boils down to it, ASK HER! You just can't put an assumption on your mind and expect it to be true.

 

Thanks for using my post as a reference, it seems that the girl me and you are chasing are alike in every way, however, there has to be somewhere where it splits. I can only say that you MUST try and get her #, there will be no point if you don't....... So....go for it!

 

Also, it doesn't matter if she has a bf, because you can still get her #. Having a bf or gf doesn't mean that that is the person that they are calling ALL the time, they will probably need someone else to talk to. Good Luck tomorrow, make yourself a promise that you'll get that # tomorow! 8) 8) 8)

[Kaia]

Hi there, I've been following this thread and I just want to say good luck to you!! You'll feel much better having done this whatever her answer is. Like SomeShyGuy said, don't just assume and later regret on "what if she doesn't have a bf"?

 

You can do it!

[Stinkweed]

Ok, thanks everyone. I'll do my best... I just gotta do it. It's just a phone #, can't be that hard...

[SomeShyGuy]

I just read this topic over again and just realized that I am responsible for your no-trying. My post is VERY similiar to yours, but there could be a huge turnaround: the bf situation. Now my post wasn't meant to discourage you, but keep in mind that only one of two things can happen: either she has a bf or not. So make sure you are happy around her, make her feel comfortable around you and you will have NO problems getting her #. Now.......go get em TIGER. 8) 8) 8)

 

Tell me how you do tomorrow.....

[Stinkweed]

I just read this topic over again and just realized that I am responsible for your no-trying.

 

That's cool dude. Because, you know what? I did it!!!! I got her #, dude! I can't believe this... Seriously, a couple of months ago, I would have never seen myself being able to do this. This is so great! Today's got to be the best day ever! It was a half day, I got all A's on all of the courses this quarter, and I got the girl's #!!! The only thing that sucks is that I asked her when she was leaving for Canada, and she said today... Oh well, I guess I'll give her a call after she comes back. But dude, I'm so happy. I got her #.

 

Here's what happened:

 

I finished my test early, and then the teacher came and collected the tests. So, I grabbed the scratch paper I used and put it in the recycling bin, and when I turned around to go back to my seat, I saw her looking at me (she was sitting right behind me) and we both smiled, so then I sat and asked her what she thought about the test and then asked her when she would leave for Canada and how much time she would spend there (she said 2 weeks) and then when the bell rang, I picked up my stuff and told her that I thought she was a nice person, which I think went well, and then I asked her for her # so we could keep in touch and gave her a piece of paper I had in my pocked and a pen, and she wrote it... Lol, I'm so happy! Then, I said bye and cya later and told her to have fun...

 

This is so awesome, lol.

[Stinkweed]

Thanks man. *gives high five to ya too

[larajenkins4]

yeah, sounds good! maybe u shud speak 2 her more and more, and then ask her for her phone number, and chat outside schools, creating a more outside school based friendship, then ask her out!

[SomeShyGuy]

Nice job, I knew you could do it! Now it seems to lean more toward the side of her not having a bf, but hey I can be wrong. Is that the cell phone # that she gave you or her house phone? If you got her cell, even better! Make sure you call her and have a LONG conversation, hehe.

 

Good Luck!

[striderhiryu81]

You have no idea howstoked I am to hear this! Wait, yes you do!! Dude, I am so excited over this so I have to imagine that you are feeling the same way just multiplied by 10!

 

Wow. that really makes my day. Haha, and guess what? I just started my new job on Tuesday and I've been getting a few signals from this girl in my training group. Its weird though cause sometimes I catch her looking and then I smile and sometimes she seems to go out of her way to not flirt. I haven't said a word to her yet...I want to remain somewhat mysterious to intrigue her. Anyways, I am fueled by your experience...now my plate is full, I have this girl and the other one through my friend to pursue...man, I feel rejuvenated.

 

Did you do a little victory dance in your head while she was writing it down or when you were walking away? If not I know you're doing one now haha. Awesome man...just awesome. Wish me luck in my endeavors! Glad it all worked out for you.

[Stinkweed]

Thanks everyone... It was the best gamble I've ever taken... She gave me her cell phone #... So, well, I'll give her a call when she comes back from Canada in 2 weeks... Lol, yeah, I did the victory dance in my head as I was walking away.

 

One question, though, should I ask her to hang out with me the first time I call her? And also, more or less, what should I say? Something like, "Are you busy tomorrow? I think we should hang out... let's go see a movie". Of course, it doesn't have to be a movie, it's just an example...

 

It's just awesome! It's the first time I get a girl's #, lol, and I do things right! I've learned so much. It's just awesome. Really, thanks everyone! And the best of luck to you too, strider, on your pursuit.

[koolaidnovel]

I think she's interested...she looks you in the eye a lot, you both always smile at each other...she's probably at least attracted to you.

 

It's obvious that she's a little bit shy...she totally reminds me of myself as I am like a completely different person around my best friends (people I've known for a long time)...but when it comes to being in a class where I don't really know anyone, I barely talk at all. So...yeah, she's a shy gal. You should ask for her screenname so you guys can talk more often...or ask her out somewhere. This is probably a situation where you are going to have to make the first move.

[striderhiryu81]

Well, I don't think that there is anything special that you can say, but it does matter how you say it. I would ask her to hang with me on that first call. Isn't that why you asked for her number? You can have a little bit of small talk, ask her how her trip was, wish her a happy new year and blah blah blah, but be direct also when it comes to asking her on a date. Like if you are asking her to go to a movie with you say that you heard of an interesting movie and you'd like her to join you. How about (date and time)?

 

After the date is set then don't linger on the phone. Tell her that you have to get going but that you look forward to seeing her at the appointed time.

 

I don't know how long its been since you actually got the number so you may have talked to her already.

 

Happy New Year! what a great time to start seeing someone eh?

 

Good luck

[Stinkweed]

Hey everyone again,

 

Thanks for replying once again . Well, I haven't actually called her yet I mean, she said she'd be out for 2 weeks, and I don't think 2 weeks have passed yet... So, I guess I'll call her when I think she's back... There's one thing... I don't have a ride. Dammit! The place I wanted to take her to is like 2 and a half miles away (a place with a TGI Friday's and a movie theater just one block away)... Would it be cool if my bro gives us a ride?

 

Oh, and Happy new years to everyone! May this year bring what's best onto you.

[striderhiryu81]

I would have to say absolutely not on that one, although I just looked at your age and I didn't have a car until I was 19, so maybe I'm being too judgemental.

 

What I did when I didn't have a car was borrowed my dads. It was pretty hard to do, but we went on a few drives together and eventually he trusted me enough to take the car out on my own. I'm sure your brother would flip his lid if you even started to ask to borrow his car so I would suggest trying a double-date in this instance. She might be a little more comfy with other people being there as you don't know each other really well yet, and also you can get away with not being expected to drive.

 

I just talked to a girl friend of mine and she said that at 17 you shouldn't even be expected to have a car so it would be okay to get a ride.

 

Choose wisely haha.

 

Good luck

[Stinkweed]

Ok, here's the problem: I don't even have a real license... I have a permit, but it's because I used to live in PA, and there you couldn't get a permit till you're 16, so, I never got one cause my parents said it'd have to be when we moved here... Here you can get a permit when you're 15, but I was already almost 17 when I moved so I got the permit but it's 12 damn months till I get my lisense, and only 2 months have passed, so my parents said that I'll have my own car when I am 18, and I can't legally drive alone till I'm almost 18...

 

Ok, that was a long and unnecessary story... Anyway, I don't got a car, and I'm screwed... The only other option I see besides asking my bro for the ride (I said my bro, b/c he's the coolest and he's 21, so he's not that much older than me...) I think it'd be for her to get her own ride and we'd have to set a point where we'll meet... Oh, and my bro is single so, I don't think he'd be able to get a date... Plz, I don't have many options... Help me, lol.

[striderhiryu81]

Well the meeting her there is a good idea. Unless she has a car, then you can meet her at the movies and then she can drive you both to the restaurant. I don't think she would mind. This is after talking to my friend nikki who said that her current bf didn't have a car when they first started going out.

 

If your brother didn't mind picking you up from the movies at a certain time, that is an option too. You arent screwed...it will just take some understanding on her part. Unless of course, she has a car, then she would most likely happily drive. You could always make it easier on her if she'll do the driving by meeting her at the theatre.

 

Hope that this helps. I really dont think she would look down upon it, but you should tell her when you plan the date that you don't have transportation of your own and that you will be picking her up or meeting her there.

 

Think about it, if she can't understand why you dont have a $10,000 machine at 17 yrs old then she is far too superficial for you. Thats a huge investment and you can't really be expected to have one unless your parents got it for you.

[Stinkweed]

well, actually, the restaurant is just one block away from the theater, which makes things a little easier... But, the thing is how we get there... I guess we'll just have to talk about it when we plan it... Ok, I'll keep you updated. Thanks and best wishes.

[Stinkweed]

Okok people... I still haven't called... Well, actually I tried today early in the afternoon (it's 7:00 pm right now...), but only got to her answering machine... I didn't leave a message, by the way. Anyway, I've no idea when I should call, cause I'm not even 100% sure she's back from her trip... But I guess I'll try in a couple of minutes and see if I have more luck... Or should I try tomorrow? I've no idea when to try... I mean, I thought that she would like pick up anytime cause it's her cell phone (I now know for a fact it is cause it was her voice on the answering machine...). Well, I'm not expecting to get many more replies on this thread... So, well, anyone who reads this just wish me luck...

[striderhiryu81]

Hey, its ok to call her but remember that cell phones record missed calls. You don't want to look like a stalker. What I would do is call her, leave a short message saying "Hey this is (name) , we met in (whatever class you had her in). I hope that you had a good time on your trip to Canada, my break went well. (it doesn't matter if she's back or not, pretend that she is). Anyways, I'm calling to see if you'd like to go out sometime. Give me a call back so we can make plans. My number is. (XXX)XXX-XXXX. Well, I hope to hear from you soon, bye.

 

Sound confident and happy. Try not to sound bummed that you didnt reach her and was stuck with the voicemail. After you leave the message, you should then hang up (unless you want to review it, delete it and record again) and wait for her to call. If shes a decent girl and interested at all she will call back.

 

Just make your play and then leave the ball in her court. If she wants it bad enough she will return the call. Don't be a "bugaboo"! That is one of those guys that calls all the time without giving her time to return the phone call. That just annoys girls because it makes you look desperate.

 

You can actually call her back one more time after about a week and a half if you think that she is already back in town, but give her a reasonable amount of time to return the call. I would say 1.5 - 2 weeks to give her time to get back in town and get situated. If she doesnt call after another week I would forget about it and never call her again. You would have then left 2 perfectly valid messages and she chose not to make a move.

 

Good luck! Don't call her more than twice in a week! You dont wanna be seen as desperate.

[Stinkweed]

Well, I haven't triend anymore... I guess I'll have to do what you said... Believe me, I'd rather talk to her directly, because what if she says she doesn't wanna hang out cause she has a bf or something like that? Dude, I still get nervous... In fact, I think I'm more nervous than when I talked to her that last time in person so I could get her email... Well, it's kinda late already, so I guess I'll try tomorrow... But at what time should I call? I mean, at what time is she most likely goingto pick up? Late morning? Early afternoon? Early evening? I just wanna do this ASAP so I can get this over with and finally see the results, lol... the anticipation has me nervous... Also, I'd like the phone call to be at least 5 minutes long and no silent moments (yes, I'm that pathetic), plz, help, lol....

[striderhiryu81]

Ok, first off, what is this about getting her email? If you got her email, it doesn't matter, you'll be forced to wait until she responds.

 

Now if you got her phone number, and haven't yet left a message, I would wait until tomorrow, and then try calling her then. Just call her and if she picks up then you can talk directly, of course, but if all you get is voicemail, just leave the message and let it do the talking. Don't keep calling over and over again until you reach her. If her phone is turned on, then she will see all of these calls from you and you'll look really desperate.