guychris14 Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 Apologies first but I'm a Londoner and not especially articulate when it comes to writing, I guess I'm caught up in the Auto -correct generation....anyway here's my thoughts on what really helps me move on. . . I have been NC since the night of the BU and that was between Xmas and N.Y.E just gone and I'm doing a lot better thanks to you all....But I gotta admit that in a strange way knowing the truth helps me distance myself from her, I like to push things, ask people questions about how she's doing and the first and second time I hear that she's moved on hurts like hell.....but by the third time I hear how great she's doing I tend to no longer care, or at least no longer try to swallow my tongue in gasping shock...as soon as I can make it all old news the better.....I find that it makes things fact, stops my hope of reconciliation and points me in the right direction!! Am I weird? or should I pretend that she's regretting her choice to dump me sitting at home pining to get back with me... I really think NC is fabulous, it stopped me from embarrassing myself and perhaps made her think wow...he walked away calmly, how and why? But while I sit here waiting for breadcrumbs I would much rather have the stone cold truth , deal with it and move quietly on . . .the sooner the better. Just a thought.....but I would rather know now than in a months time as that would only make me relapse, so BRING IT ON and let me have it xxxx To everyone on ENA, you're all fabulous and will see brighter days and I thank you all for being here xxxxx God Speed x Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 Stop waiting for breadcrumbs that may never be thrown. Link to comment
guychris14 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Share Posted February 24, 2014 Exactly . Just give me the stone cold truth . . . Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 You have the "truth"...she left. Why doesn't matter. Link to comment
guychris14 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Share Posted February 24, 2014 Oh Mate, that's not my point..... My point is to keep it real, gather all the truths and bad stuff today and deal with it today to stop kidding yourself. . to stop waiting . . It works for me. And sorry, WHY does matter so that I do not repeat history. .all I'm saying is gather all information today and deal with it, tomorrow will be so much better. just what works for me x Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 Then why are you asking for advice? Just do it your way. Link to comment
Twidom Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 She left you because she was unhappy. She left you because she wanted something "better" and different from you. She doesn't want YOU. She wants another man in her life, not you. I don't see how that can help you but whatever floats your boat. Link to comment
guychris14 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Share Posted February 24, 2014 Exactly, All I am saying is that its so much better to realise that from day 1, than to drag it out....Why stay in contact hoping for a different outcome? I simply like to have all the facts at once...from day 1, no hidden surprises later on..... Perhaps do not go NC until you know exactly what you're dealing with.....know how big or small the wound is.... Hey, I would hate to think I'm healed only to find more bad stuff out later on....I guess it's just me x Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 What other bad stuff? The relationship is over....details won't change that fact. If she left because she: Cheated Got bored Joined the circus Became a lesbian Immigrated to Canada IT DOESN'T MATTER. She left. Link to comment
guychris14 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Share Posted February 24, 2014 Now I think it does matter...and that every guy or gal would rather know...It just helps....yeah, the truth is a good thing! Are you telling me that she became a lesbian, moved to Canada and joined a circus? That ..... Link to comment
Twidom Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 Like I said I don't know how that helps you. She left and that's the only thing that matters. I'd rather not know if she left me to stay with someone else or anything like that... It would make it even harder to move on. Link to comment
guychris14 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Share Posted February 24, 2014 But I would only find out one day ...so why not today? Link to comment
Twidom Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 Because this "someday" might be in a year or two. I broke up with my first GF almost a decade ago and I still don't know if she's with someone else. You're taking in unnecessary suffering. Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 You are just making excuses to get in touch with her. Why will you find out some day? And way would you care then either? Call her and be done with it. Link to comment
guychris14 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Share Posted February 24, 2014 No way...Really? Call her....have a word with yourself.... I'M never contacting her again, that's for sure...and I have all the facts so I will not get any surprises tomorrow,the next day...or later on.... Yeah, it's just me, I guess. Thanks for the quick chat x Link to comment
.jpg.1626fbc48c04fd9021fd315819807524.thumb.jpg.882936eb5901fa05cf31c75617acde2e.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.