Breaking Down

[MindPrison]

Hello;

 

I've gotten to the point now where I feel I am literally just going to break down, I cannot take it anymore and I cannot believe a person can be so cruel within this world that we live. I will explain to you as best as I can my situation and my problems and hopefully find someone or receive advice on whats best, all though whats best is already something I know.

 

The relationship didn't start off as a Cyber Relationship, we knew each other for approximately two years, and were together for that time. Unfortunately said person had to move back to her country due to missing friends and family etc, which i was more than willing to let her go for that alone. A few months pass and you know how it goes, we talk on skype and play a few games together and what not, but one day we fell out and had an argument on a game we played together. This resulted in me being removed from all of her contact lists online, and also through phone-messaging. This persisted for a few days, we would re-add, and it would happen again a few weeks later.

 

As time went on and I started to realize maybe she didn't want to come back, so I started digging for answers subtly. I would ask her when she would be returning, and in a sort of sarcastic and rude manner she would reply with short non-helpful replies that didn't cover the answer, but would leave me with more questions, thus the more questions I had to ask. It got so bad that she snapped again one day and removed me, that was the end, we did not speak for 6+ months. One day I received a pop-up and it was her adding me back to her friends list, I was still mad at the time so I ignored it, declined it for roughly two or more days, until I finally gave in and accepted the request. Surely enough we were back to talking in skype, hanging out, playing games but it wasn't normal, she wouldn't talk to me like she would normally and she wouldn't find interest in the things we used to do together. I find that she added a lot more male friends, would rather play games with other people and chat to them and it would seem that she would be having a blast of a time with other people, but wouldn't even shed a smile or a short-laugh whilst I was the company, which brought up complete jealous feelings that I was completely not good enough for her.

 

The jealous feelings continued, the sarcastic remarks and the questions all continued also, she then snaps again and tells me that she's in love with her ex-boyfriend again (A boyfriend she repeatedly talked S*** about, repeatedly told me how much of a hurtful person he was etc). I knew prior that they were together for quite some time, perhaps 9-10 years, and then they broke up. She then told me (the same day) that she had never really broken up with her ex-boyfriend, which then raised all concerns in my head.

 

I really feel like I have been living a lie for the past 5 years of my life, I cannot even remember what I did before she was around, and I cannot even picture myself in the future. I can't avoid seeing her online sometimes, playing and joking like nothing had ever happened, like she was about to start the whole process again with another unsuspecting person, whilst I'm left devastated and completely at a loss for words. I literally have no idea what to do, every day is a huge struggle for me, and to see her happy is making me more jealous and more hateful. It feels so so bad.

 

I know the best cure for this would be to completely remove anything from her, to cut her out of the picture once and for all, but how can this be? My hobbies and past times are where she lurks always, the games I play to get away she's there, I get feelings sometimes of checking out her facebook profile or gaming profiles to only be hurt again and again and again while she is perfectly ok..

 

What should I do?

[Hoagy]

I think you already know the answer so this won't come as a surprise. You have to block her completely. Block her emails, texts, social media, everything. Find new hobbies and games and new friends. After a while the need to find out what she's doing will subside and she will just become someone you used to know. Don't give her any chance to hurt you or make you angry or jealous because you aren't going to heal if you carry those negative feelings with you. Every time you think about her you give her another chance. And who suffers for it? Not her.

 

I know it's easier said than done but trust me on this.

[LunaMoth76]

Completely agree with Hoagy. I thought I could never get over my ex, couldn't imagine living life without him even thought the relationship was sub par...but I did. I got over him and then got a much, much, upgraded model of a man whom I adore completely, and makes a much better fit in life. She's not for you. Someone else is. All you have to do is let go.

 

 

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