2 weeks of limited contact after break up!- final contact necessary?

[Franz]

I just made this email this morning. Have been thinking of sending one final conversation since we broke up but want to that when i am not emotional. Think now is time before it looses it's neccesity.

hope i don't sound emotional and needy!

 

 

 

 

"Hey,

 

Just thought is should let you know! I love so much ( maybe now in the past) but i hate what you have done.

I know from here things would probably never change or maybe never be the same as we used to have it.

 

The good thing we had went away like a flash of light! Maybe, there was a problem before, maybe i was too

blind to know All the things you kept inside you. Remember the first day we met, the day we took a walk to

the bunker! i looked into your eyes and i said to myself, i can love you and will fall in love with you!

 

This is one thing i will never regret even after all you did. When you told me you never saw a future with me,

i wanted to walk away from the relationship but you asked me stand by you and since this is your first relationship,

teach you what relationship is. You cried to me when i told you over the christmas that maybe someday you come

visiting me in (my country.. this is an interracial relationship) and said you just don't feel happy that you only come visiting. But somehow, i didn't know you

never saw me as a long term thing. I was just drowned in your innocence and wanted to make you know what it means

to be loved. Well, i hope i made you realize that.

 

When we started, i never saw you in my future and had no space for you. but i did create that space and will

never regret that i did! Every relationship has a potential to end but i just didn't know that one day, you will look

into my eyes and tell me that you never had a feeling for me. What we had together, the days we spent together

and the things we shared together, the memories of our Taize songs that we sang everywhere and how we played

together on the streets of Strasbourg would come one day to mean nothing to you! And that you have feelings for

someone else.

 

It would be better if you had told me you just don't want me anymore in your life. It would hurt less to say that.

Somehow you say now that our lives don't match. That i love you so much and that i have so much time for you

and our relationship. You asked me if sex was important for me in our relationship and i told you no. you also said

no to me but now you say this is also another reason to know that things wasn't good with us! If sex was that

important for you, why did you look into my eyes and lie to me? Hope you realize one day, having time for a

relationship was the most important thing to make your relationship work!

 

All the while i know we differed in what we liked. But one thing; we liked and held passion for one thing- GOD!

For me that was the most important thing in life. I have come to love many more things you loved. This is what life

is all about and this is how your partner changes you! And am glad you did change me.

 

We come to love not by meeting the perfect person but by loving that imperfect person perfectly. Am glad i did

and have no regrets whatsoever!

 

Well, you said you never had a comparison for our relationship! I guess now you have it. I should let you fall in love

with someone else and hope you see the difference. I know what we want may not be exactly what God has planned.

I guess i let you do this. Hope you see the difference and pray for the best!

 

You know they say, If you love someone and they don't love you back- Love them anyway! This is me saying good bye for

good! "

[CeeLambrini]

I think you should go 30 days without any contact at all and then read the email back to yourself. If you still feel that you want to say those words then send it, but somehow I don't think you will.

You say in your email that he told you he no longer cares for you and that he loves someone else. If this is true then all this email will do is annoy him. He doesn't care, and apparently never did according to him - so he will not read this email in the way you would like him to.

It is very tempting to want to say a final word, to get some "closure". However the closure isn't about the email. It actually stops you from getting closure. You put some questions in your email, perhaps rhetorical but questions none the less. That will come accross as you expecting a reply, and when you don't get your reply it will keep you from getting that closure longer.