Scared that I wont

[Milly2005]

i am actually 21 and still a virgin. This is only because of religion, I was actaully engaged for a while where we did "everything but." I have long masturbated, but externally (like stimulating the clit) and not internally. My ex tried putting his fingers inside me like sex, but I didn't even get close to orgasm. It just felt different. I can orgasm very quickly externally, but I am worried that when I do have sex it just wont work since it will be inside.

You girls who said you have been masturbating since 11, was sex better than masturbation? Or where you putting something inside you? Do you think that I will probably not be able to ever orgasm through sex if i couldnt by fingering? Or is sex different somehow?

 

Your all right though, girls just dont talk about this, it is a shame, i think we could help each other if we weren't so embarrassed.

 

Thanks

[DBL]

You might as well go pop your cherry already. Don't save it because of religious reasons. You already commited your sins with impure thought and all.

 

DBL

[browneyedgrl]

Every woman is different. I have found some men to be better than masturbation, but I have also found some men to be inferior to masturbation. I believe alot has to do with passion and your being comfortable with your own body. Don't be scared to experiment when the time is right for you. You will only know what pleases you when you try it.

[Milly2005]

true, but I could repent of impure thoughts, whereas I can't get rid of a baby if i get pregnant.

 

but I am kind of scared because it could be years before I find mr. right (certainly not in the mood to seriously date now), and I am not going to get any more attractive as the years go by.

[Heretic]

I'm not a girl but I'll tell you what I know.

 

Basically the easiest way to stimulate is externally. Your partner really has to know their way around to help you have an interal orgasm. On top of that you made need to help them find the right spot.

 

Internal orgasms vary from person to person. I had one partner that just felt uncomfortable whenever she had one because she couldn't breathe when it happened. That's rare I'd imagine. Most women love it, but aren't looking for an orgasm during intercourse. At least been my experience.

 

Intercouse is different, very different. The more you love someone the better it will be, but don't expect an orgasm your first few runs. Especially if your partner is a virgin. He'll be having too much trouble trying not to have one.

 

I hope this helps.

[amanda22]

everthing is diff for every girl. many girls need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, others need penetration, some only orgasm with oral. if you love the guy and are ready, i say go for it. i cant live my life by the whole religion thing. youll never know what feels good and what doesnt unless you try different things and even then, it may need alot of practice.

[Milly2005]

Most women love it, but aren't looking for an orgasm during intercourse. At least been my experience.

 

What?!? Why do it? Maybe just because it feels sexier to be with someone?

[amanda22]

are you saying youd be guilty of impure lustful thoughts? dont be, we all have them, it's normal! as for the baby thing, just be careful and use protection. that is something everyone worries about. be safe and it should all be ok. dont let anyone tell you its bad and a sin, as long as you love someone, its beautiful to share...

[Heretic]

everthing is diff for every girl. many girls need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, others need penetration, some only orgasm with oral. if you love the guy and are ready, i say go for it. i cant live my life by the whole religion thing. youll never know what feels good and what doesnt unless you try different things and even then, it may need alot of practice.

 

Just to add to what amanda said. Everyone has the same parts. Everyone is capable of have orgasms (there are exceptions but they are really few and far between). It mainly has to do with the mindset. If you think you won't enjoy it or that it can't give you an orgasm it won't. If you relax and enjoy it, or psyche yourself up for an orgasm it's more likely to happen.

 

Most people have orgasms during external and oral sex because they become accustomed to it. They expect it during those acts and not during others.

 

Sex is more mind over matter then you think

[Jimbo10]

true, but I could repent of impure thoughts, whereas I can't get rid of a baby if i get pregnant

 

That's exactly true. Don't feel like you might as well have sex cause you masterbate. I'm a virgin because of my religion too. It's not always easy, and sometimes I wish I didn't care, but I do, and it's important to you. If you save yourself for the right man, it'll be so much better.

[Heretic]

Most women love it, but aren't looking for an orgasm during intercourse. At least been my experience.

 

What?!? Why do it? Maybe just because it feels sexier to be with someone?

 

Nothing so crude.

 

It's for the emotional attachment. Haven't you ever been cuddling with your partner and felt it's not close enough? It's relief from that feeling. It's the fact that you have someone inside you. You can't get any closer then that.

 

You'll have to experience it to understand I guess.

[Milly2005]

are you saying youd be guilty of impure lustful thoughts? dont be, we all have them, it's normal! as for the baby thing, just be careful and use protection. that is something everyone worries about. be safe and it should all be ok. dont let anyone tell you its bad and a sin, as long as you love someone, its beautiful to share...

 

No I already am guilty of that. There was one guy that I was truly turned on just to be around. I really fell for him and probably would have melted if he just touched me (which I often thought about )- We both liked each other but he was my boss so nothing ever could happen. I can't think about him without thinking of sex- anyways yes, i have impure thoughts and they are dangerous because they mask more important issues so I try to abstain.

Isnt it true though that when you have sex with someone you give them a piece of you? I mean does it feel that way? A piece you can never get back? I guess its all fair if everyone is equally jaded. Maybe it is more freakish than special...

In fact, now i have a question for the guys: If you were say, late 20s (so experienced in this department) and you were very interested in a girl but found out she was a virgin (Id like to find someone mid 20s) would you still date her? Lets just for argument sakes say she is really gorgeous and everything else is perfect, but she is a virgin... would that scare you away? Be respectable? Make you feel like she was judging you? something esle?

[Heretic]

First off I find virgins very respectable. The reason I can appreciate it is because I know how hard it is to hold back.

 

Some men don't like virgins because you have to wait a long time to have sex with them. Most girls a week of dating and they are good to go... virgins you can be with a couples years with no guarantee.

 

That said you shouldn't let what other people think get in the way. You should do what you feel is best.

 

As for the piece of you? I'm not so sure, but you do share a bond and I'd say it's VERY important that you pick someone you know will be a part of your life for the rest of your life. That's why waiting til marriage is a good idea, but not necessary if you find a great guy who's probably a better friend then lover. That's what I did. I found a great friend... slept with her and we're still friends today.

 

Weird? Maybe but I think your first is important.

[Milly2005]

If sex is mind over matter cant you just find a really nice friendly person and just marry them and think sexy thoughts and make the whole bed situaion work?

[Heretic]

Yes.. yes you can. Seriously you can turn anyone into a great lover through positive reinforcement.

 

My second lover just laid there... did nothing. The worst... the absolute worst I'd ever had. So what did I do? I started getting really vocal. I told her how great it felt and I'd talk to her about it. She's start to get more and more into it and when she did I'd tell her how great she was. When we finally broke up the sex was the best I'd had up til then. It works with guys too. Focus on personality. Bodies change a lot more then personalities do over time.

 

Besides if you're inexperienced you'll want an inexperienced lover to explore with. Some "experienced" lovers find a rut and stick to it. Kinda a "don't fix it if it ain't broke" attitude. I suggest a newbie to build a sexual repertoire with.

 

I've just had a positive experience with it... so maybe I'm biased?

[69_king]

Anyone that does not have an impure thought is not human!! Our main function is to multiply.