New gf vs ex gf (HELP!)

[tbenson2]

Hi! I dont really know how to start but basically, I dated a girl for a year and a few months. Things were good between us for a while, wiht norm fights here and there. To make th long story short, she cheated on me with some friend (guy) of hers. I never got it out of her if she slept with him but I know they messeda round. I dumped her. That was August. Ive since met a wonderful girl. Shes every thing and more then what i could aks for. She doesnt live in my state but Ive gone to see her three times already, Im falling in love with my new gf and are now over the pian of the ex. The problem is tht the ex is now coming back and calling constantly. She doesnt know about my new girl. Didnt think it would be her business. i dont want to do my new girl wrong. We have a good trusting relationship. My question is:

 

1) should i tell my new gf about the ex constantly calling

2) should i tell my ex about my new girl

3) if I tell my gf, wouldnt she be paranoid later

4) if I tell my ex, do you think she'd stop calling

 

I did love my ex at one point. I thought I loved her man but i realize now what true luv is. What my new girl doesnt know won't hurt her, but I dont want to do her like that. Shes a sweet girl and i wantt o be everything to her. What do you think? Any help man would be appreicated. Thanks for reading!

 

Lost in texas,

 

tbenson2

[Sn0man]

hi tbenson2:

 

Do not tell your new girlfriend about your ex calling, it'll make her insecure and will cause problems. Tell your ex about your new girlfriend, she'll back off. If you're into the new girl, put your focus there then, and do not lead your ex on, that'll cause a whole flurry of problems.

 

Good Luck

 

Sn0

[amanda22]

i believe in honesty cause things tend to come out of the woodworks. i would tell your new gf, but make a strong point that ur over your ex. say, " i dont know what to do, my ex started calling and its really annoying..." that way if she finds out somehow she wont be like, 'why didnt you tell me?' and by telling her, you make a point she is part of your life and what goes on in it and that she has nothing to worry about because your ex is annoying and u dont want her back. i would also tell ur ex, but do it subtly. dont say back off! i love my new gf! just make sure you get the point accross that u r with someone now, tell her gently. your ex may go crazy and bother you more or she may back off. if you dont tell them both its likely that they will sense it if your ex continues to call. it may only bother ur new gf if she is insecure but that why u have to make the point that you dont like ur ex anymore.

[Kaspa]

Yes you should tell your ex about thsi new girl, if you don't plan on gettin back together with her. I meen she did cheat on you, and if your just not telling her cuz u wanna keep your doors open, then thats kinda shallow, so you may as well tell her. She may stop calling if you tell her, if thats what you want. and i don't see any reaosn you need to tell the new girl, not unless theres sum problem or attachment to the ex.

[DBL]

I believe in honesty too. However I wouldn't say nothing to her, but I would tell your x you are involved with someone and do not call any more.

 

Honesty is always good, but it is not always what it is cracked up to be. It is possible that if you tell her that she will wonder why all of a sudden your x is calling and may become suspicious.

 

If this has been going on for a couple of days already and you didn't tell her, then don't bother. If it is new then just air it out.

 

DBL

[TrueHeart]

There are a lot of valid points here. Honesty is the key! Personally, I would tell your new GF about your X calling because what happens when you are with her and the phone rings... and you HAVEN'T told her-- thats going to make it look like your hiding it, regardless... depends on your new GF.

 

Dealing with an X can be very annoying; but you need to handle it in the most effective way. If you are certain that getting back with your XGF is inconceivable, than you need to truly confront her and say that you are involved w/ someone else and you want her to stop calling. As far as your GF, reassuring her that you know you will not reconcile the relationship, and that you find it rather annoying will keep you looking squeeky clean! Open lines of communication, honestly and trust are #1 in a realtionship-- everything else is 2nd.

 

Confront your XGF, one on one or by phone. Use your best judgement on what method would be more effective.

[tbenson2]

Thanks all for your responses!

 

I want to make things clear about the ex. I do not want her calling me. I am ove rher and do not love her the way i once thuoght I did. But I also do not want to hurt her. Shes the one that screwed up but it takes a lot for her to come back to someone that she did wrong. She is not one to apologize...sje has a lot of pride. I fear that she will go crazy on me about the new gf. I dont want to deal with the drama.

 

The new gf doesnt live in my state, shes in Ohio. If my ex calls or not, she wouldnt know unless i told her.

 

It seems like most people think i should be honest with all parties involved. But, DBL pointed something out (I appreciate it bro!). This has been going on for a few days now and i havent told mu new gf. I probably should air it out with her.

 

hmm.....

 

Thx again for listening!!!!!!!!!

 

tbenson2

[Sn0man]

Really, if you bring the X into your relationship with your new girl, you're going to cause problems!!! There's no need to discuss your X with your new girl! DISASTER!! New girlfriends tend to get very jealous of X's, especially when you bring them up, don't do it!!!

 

I agree that honesty is important, but really, theres no need to cause yourself any issues over this.

 

Sn0