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So we kissed....


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He came to get the rest of his stuff. And we kissed for a bit.

 

He said it was an intense build up. I said I was confused. We are both confused. But we both thought it was good. He liked it.

 

But WHAT?

 

What have I done people. I don't feel any differently towards him but I am confused by the kiss. I don't feel one strongly one way or another but obviously I'm questioning a lot.

 

Huh.

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My ex did this to me too the first week after we had a major fight which eventually led to the breakup. She was also 'confused' and actually quite baffled after the kiss. And yet two months later she dumped me in a cold way. Who would have thought.

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So we had sex tonight. Twice.

 

And my feelings still haven't changed.

 

Is there something wrong with me. I should be crying right now or something emotional or whatever.

 

I can't get a handle on any of this

 

He cheats on you and you go on having sex with him. Nice. Why don't you wash his clothes too?

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He broke up with me. He cheated on me the first time.

 

I have no idea why I allowed it to happen.....it didnt spark an interest back inside of me but it did feel normal, but I imagine that's to be expected.

 

I'm just venting some confusion. It's so weird.

 

Sparking interest again is unlikely - that's mostly a beginning of relationship thing.

 

And in your case, that's good. This whole situation is toxic.

 

Toxic relationships with partners that are manipulative, controlling, abusive or cheaters often breed addiction and codependency. The trauma is another form of bonding, even if it isn't always accompanied by feelings of desire

 

You are letting this man make a doormat of you, but you seem detached and numb. That's a pretty unhealthy situation if I've ever heard one.

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Since you had sex with this man you are obviously still into him and you cant get over the fact that he cheated/broke up with you.

 

Now his ego is probably higher than the clouds.

 

I really hope that you can see things more clearly when he cheats on you again.

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I know this sounds a little naive but the cheating scenario is the least of my worries. That happened, yes. I struggled with it countless times. But we worked through it as best as we could. I'm not saying what he did wasn't right, and even if I said they only kissed and cuddled it wouldn't make a difference, but people make mistakes.

 

I don't really know what to do because we were talking last night and he mentioned that the way we were acting now was how he imagined us dating (not suffocating each other's lives....but living a good balance between being together and having space). It was super weird for us for a hot second because we both realized that what we were feeling was happiness and not stress and tension. Feelings didn't change on either side, but it was kind of refreshing to know that we weren't always destined to bicker all the time.

 

I don't know.

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I might be a little too harsh here but I guess someone needs to.

 

The guy doesn't give a about you. He's just using you for sex/ego boost and you're doing exactly what he wants. So stop being the little damsel in distress and get a grip of the ing situation. You're being manipulated and the worst part is that you actually believe you're not. This is beyond pathetic. You need some serious treatment or at least a slap to the cheek to wake the hell up and see this guy is nothing but a ing tool. A low life with absolute no morals.

 

You're hurting because you're allowing yourself to. You can get out of all this mess as easy as blinking. You just don't want to. As long as you keep holding the razor in your wrist, don't come here asking why you're cutting yourself.

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I really do understand what you're saying but perhaps I wasn't making myself clearer in my question. I'm not hurting over him or because of him or like at all. I don't know what to do because I don't feel ANYTHING towards him or the situation. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I don't want him back. I don't care if he wants me back. I'm feeling so apathetic towards the whole ordeal and I don't know why or what to do about it

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Well okay I felt happiness around him which was nice because usually I felt anxious and frustrated. So having that emotion was a relief. But as far as wanting a relationship with him, I could care less. And I feel like I SHOULD be hurting but I'm not. But everything everyone is saying makes a lot of sense, especially if I was pining over him or having some false hope....I'm just not and that's what is freaking me out the most

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Perhaps your feelings are numbed because you have not accepted the reality and finality of the break up yet especially since you two are still having sex. You think you have no feelings to him because he still wants to have sex with you, as soon as he dumps you for real and cuts all contact, you may experience all these feelings.

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