SO ANGRY!!!

[cleverme123]

Well I have posted on this some what before, but here goes the update. The girl that works with my husband that had slept with him before we got together it now turning a trife bit psycho.

 

To recap two weeks ago she tried to break him and I up by talking dirty to him, and lying to me and then some other things with him. So there was a huge blow up and he and her both were told they are not to talk about personal stuff no text messages at work no nothing. Well I thought it was a done deal they would just stay away. Now she is finding reasons to talk to him (bumming cigarettes) saying sorry for what happened, etc...

 

The thing is, he is playing it up saying she is going to get herself fired by obsessing over him. And believe me this chick is way beyond obsessed with him. She tries to talk to him for anything, keeps playing a certain song, goes out to smoke with him. I keep asking why in the heck he is playing along and talking back, told him to just cut the ties, and he ain't budging. He even told me to just laugh off the fact she would do almost anything to have him. And it's a huge thing at his job that he slept with her, it's embarrassing for me when I go there. Is it possible he likes the attention he is getting from the whole thing???

[Gunther]

maybe he is just being {for lack of better words} a wuss, and is just afraid to assert the fact that it is over between the two of them. Or I could be completely wrong, I dont know him lol. Anyways what I do know for sure is that it really isnt ok for him to be seeing his ex so much, it really just isn't a good idea. I dont mean to sound harsh, but maybe an ultamatum is in order. A me or her type of a thing. I don't like suggesting these things because of the obvious reason: what if he picks her? But its just not right for them to be seeing eachother.

[Breea]

It sounds like he may be liking the attention. Ego!!!!

 

I wish I had some advice for you, but I don't. My ex won't burn the bridges with his ex and he resents me for wanting him to, I believe. She just popped up the other day. He gets mad at me for getting upset over it. Makes it out that my reaction is the problem. I'm getting sick of it ...as much as I truly love him. He needs to cut ties, too! So I know how u feel. I'm sorry to hear what you are having to put up with.

[Prosper]

Hi Pal,

I think ur hubby is very EGO!! He enjoys making people miserable, isnt it? If he doesnt love that gal, but loves u, he shld obviously leave her and be with u. I hope u express ur feelings out to him on how u feel.

If he cant leave her alone, then i guess u will have to leave him, coz in longer terms to see, I dun think he is a good hubby.

And Yes! Be patient in ur approach, but dun wait for too long. I believe the gal isnt feeling that sort of good either.

 

Thanks for reading..

[Axl]

I must admit I do agree with |OCS|Virus maybe he just doesnt want to tell her because it will upset her, is this the sort of thing that might be true of him ?

[mrsmarvl]

Sounds to me like he is lovin it and feeding it to . If he is married to you and loves you ...he would do whatever it takes to discourage her, no matter what. And he is not doing that at all. And of course you should be uncomfortable, you dont know what they are doing at work, and by him playing this with her, its really disrespectful to you. You need to put him in his place or report her to an administrator

[OceanEyes]

I personally feel, that if he is not telling her to "back off", that he is basically encouraging it. Doing nothing about the situation, regardless of his reasons, is a way of encouraging this woman (who doesn't sound like the smartest or most self-respecting woman around).

 

I can understand your frustration. If there was some tacky broad throwing herself at my man every day, I would probably feel a little uneasy about it too. And I know, that if the tables were turned and it was a tacky man throwing himself at you, that you would probably tell him where to go - and how to get there (I know I would). Sadly, I don't think that the average man has many chances like that in life (to have women throwing themselves at them). It just doesn't happen very often.

 

To be honest, this situation is probably something that would build up a lot of resentment in me after a while. I can see myself telling him to get lost after a while; you like the attention that much even though it really ticks me off? Well, how about having it all the time while you're single.

[Prosper]

Hi,

I dun know whether u are online.. But i guess i better copy and paste to u this, which i wrote in some previous posts.

Method one, stay strong for what u believe in, what a good guy shld do, and TELLS him OFF!.. mind u, not telling him nicely and sweetly. And second method which works best with the first one, ACT AND BE A DIGNIFIED WOMAN, LOlx! I know guys hate to be ignored! they hate transparency! Next, keep in mind that there are still options ard, u nebber know a frd of urs would still wan to be with u, why not hang out for a while, and see whether he comes running back for u in pants, trousers and his BRIEFS.. LoLX!.. U can have a try on that.

And yup! Stay strong, u can be a very strong woman with guys BOWLED OVER U, HEAD OVER HEEDS! LolX!! If he is urs, he will be urs. Stay cool!

[cleverme123]

Well I went for the juggler so to speak. And what happened floored me even more! I ask him why he likes the attention from her so much and I thought back to the ex girlfriend before this who still gives him every wink of attention. There is a huge pattern that I see!!!

 

First, he goes out with seemingly needy people. People that have a void in their life some where in relationships.

 

Second I am not like that at all!!!! I am very strong willed and feel he is neglecting the fact that she is throwing herself at his shoes. I do think he likes the attention; in fact I know it! When his other ex and I fought, it fueled him but he told me that if I didn't let her alone I would have to go, since no one tells him who he can and can't talk to!

 

He just about did the same thing when I confronted him about her. He has been sneaking off on cigarette breaks and having conversation still with her. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WORK!!! I already went to his and her manager and he and her are both pending being fired if they can't get their act together and quit talking about their personal live. To make matters even worse, the other ex (now two in the same place he works at) works there too.

 

I hate to say it but maybe an ultimatum will tell him I am not a door mat. I am six months pregnant also, with twins. So I would have thought that would have put things in perspective.

[Prosper]

Hi Pal,

 

Sometimes in life it pains to see someone wwe love to behave so intimately with some other women or be it men. But then again, i think u shld hold ur cool and do whatever u want in life, and since u are 6 months pregnant, why not u concentrate urself on giving birth to 2 young kids in ur womb? Coz firstly my concept is this, i dun think gals who are pregnant, shld go ard settling this sort of messy stuff, as they have much impt roles of keeping themselves healthy and sort of things, going to gynae, diet eating and all that. Mind u, u are having twins, thats gonna be double the efforts. And yah, have u prepare the babies clothes and bottles already?

 

And secondly, i feel even if to stop their relationships, it is best left to the others in the office to talk abt it. I always think rumours have their strong sense of power, and u need not join them in for these sort of SNOOP-LOW kind of chat.

 

And thirdly i also feel that pregnany and doormat are totally two different cases, as someone who is pregnant, doesnt mean she will be treated with total respect for some guys are simply quite bastards (sorry i am not referring to ur hubby only).

 

And lastly, i think the two kids are very innocent, i dun see the point they need to be warped up for this situation. u shld stay focus on what u want in life, and what u wan BEST for ur kids as u can make very informed choices for ur life. And YES! i seen a lot of successful single mums around, if u have to be single for the sake that ur kids get a HEALTHY and GOOD DAD.

 

I will pray for u that he will repents and comes back.

 

Thanks for reading..

[OceanEyes]

When his other ex and I fought, it fueled him but he told me that if I didn't let her alone I would have to go, since no one tells him who he can and can't talk to!

 

Ok, that's fine, he has a right to talk to whomever he pleases. But when does it become inappropriate? How would he feel if you had that type of relationship with another man?

 

I hate to say it, but I don't think that I could deal with this type of behaviour in my relationship. He really doesn't seem to be receptive to your feelings about it either; he's trying to stay "the man" in the relationship by resisting your request to limit his interactions with this woman.

 

How much are you going to take? I mean, people can only take so much, and I don't think it's healthy for you to be so stressed while you're expecting.

[cleverme123]

I agree with both of you, and yes I am prepared to have these babies also. I went to his job last night and talked to his boss and told him that she has come back there and harassed both him and I while she is not working and mentioned some other things she has been doing. She was written up and if she does it again and does not stay away from him she will be fired. However, if he initiates it, he will be fired. They were both told it's unprofessional and inappropriate and that it stops now.

 

Maybe he needed to hear it from someone else! He did however, say he was sorry for all this mess that he shouldn't have played games with her knowing he had slept with her before. He said she took it all out of context and that was very wrong. He promised he would stop and I told him if I see text messages, emails, or phone calls from her, I walk. I am not going to take this kind of behavior because if I let him get away with it, it's going to keep happening.

[Cynder]

I think he likes the attention. My husband gets the same way when a girl finds him attractive. (Of course we've never expirience this on as grand a scale). And yes, I can see why you feel the way you do.