Emotional Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 My dad and me aren't getting along. Its more like he hates me and all he ever does is complain about how much he hates himself and he complains about a lot of things ...He blames me on taking his pills and being in his room going through his stuff when i DONT!,....Hes real paranoid and i hate him right now.I love him but he just is pi$$n me off right now. My brother is my half bro and he hates me as well...they say your family is wwho you are supose to turn to when nothin makes since. God ain't helpin and i think the devil is gettin to me. In the last week ive been thinking about ending my life. Its more crazy then ever and im scared and everything , but theres no use. I am an iep Student which means i have a dissability. Im slower then others i guess. It hurts so bad to know that im not normal. And i guess ill never be normal. My dad is the one who put me in the retard class for math. And yes it is a retard class....I hate it so much and the people in there are ok tho. My teacher is a cheer leading coach not a math teacher. Shes just as dumb as us. I have all reg classes accept for math. Right now im failing with an f 5-6 English , 5-6 history, And im failing team sports of all Things...I don't feel pretty enough and i feel as if im the ugliest more worthless person in the world... I keep contiplating with myself. I have a hook Over my bed and its sturdy and i have a belt that i can easily hang myself with... Ive been wanting to for a while now. Its painless and its the end of my life. I dont care where i end up anymore...Im a "saved" christian but i feel like a Demon...The things goin in my head right now are utterly nutS... I already lost sooo many friends through death , gossip , and rumors...Ive been seriously thinkin about killing myself... I worry about what i look like when it comes to tryin out for sports or even running because it makes my face turn red and ugly Sweaty lookin...thats the reason iim not in a sport and the reason im failing pe... I hate my life and just thought i would tell everyone because i need someone to lean on when ther eis NOBODY who gets me. Link to comment
Strictly4MyGrind Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 Please dont end you life things will get better we all feel like you sometimes i do right now but i kno things will get better and if they dont.....they will get better thas all so dont kil youself.... Link to comment
Goodgirl Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 Don't think death is the answer to your problems. Your only 16 and still have so much life to live. If you feel that your home isn't supportive of you and who you are, maybe you should reach out to a counsler or another adult at school. Maybe they can give you advice on people to talk to and how to get out of feeling this way. Don't worry how you look at PE class, that's why it's PE you get to sweat and feel good. Just try and not to be so self consious, sports and PE help build confidence and maybe make some new friends. Keep your head up at 16 everything can seem upside down, its how you get through it that makes you a stronger and better person. Link to comment
Strictly4MyGrind Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 Find something that will help you get thru ur more stresful times....for me its music it helps me maybe something else will help you....jus dont kill youself please Link to comment
RockG Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 Hey! Listen, you are normal. The feelings you have are normal! And being in the class that your in isn't anything to be ashamed of. In the furture it might and probably definatily, will! As far as you dad goes, it seems he has so problems he hasn't worked out about himself, yet. And you half-bro, well boys are stupid, and they just don't get the intelligent emotions of girls, no they don't ever! So don't worry about him. Family isn't the only ones you can turn to, you could turn to a great friend, a distant relative, or even a cousonler! They really help. The sports part, i have the same problem, serisously!! I hate it, but alot of girls/guys have that problem too. But thats no reason from holding you back on this you can enjoy! You grow out of it.. b/c my friend who always turned red, like bull fighter red, grew out of it, and she grew out of it at 18, so its normal. Now for the serious part. You have your whole life left and you may hate your life now.. but you have the whole 99 years or so to live life the way you want, join a club, go for a sport and don't care about what your face looks like have fun. And your not a demon, and God helps only in his own time, so keep your faith he might be testing you.. and if you ever get to a point any advice can't help.. go to a psychologists, they help!!! And hang in there.. PLEASE!! You matter!!! Link to comment
Strictly4MyGrind Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 well boys are stupid, and they just don't get the intelligent emotions of girls, i Do....dont kill youself please Link to comment
RockG Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 Well.. some boys do! Just Hang in there! It will get easier! Link to comment
Emotional Posted December 10, 2004 Author Share Posted December 10, 2004 You all are very great and i appriciate the comments on this...Its not easy to stop wanting to die all of a sudden. Its something ive been contiplating with for about a year now. Life is rough right now and i have tons of pressure on me I just am not doing well latley. Its like God isn't with me right now and is letting me hit rock bottom...I dont know , im just really hurting right now! I can list my problems or try to do something about them and latley ive just been wanting to escape. I Hope all of u are doin better than me because i wouldnt wish what im feelin right now on ANYONE. I will take all of your advice and think hard on it...I just have so many things goin on in my head.. Link to comment
chicksport Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 i kno wut ur saying.....i have thought about killing myself for a while now to but i always find a way to keep on going.. And u have thought about this for about a year and havent done nething thats rele rele good that means ur rele strong.....i have done some stupid things that i have done and i have scars that will remind me of wut i did to myself and how i felt forever but i keep on going. Your strong and you should be proud of that and realize that you can go on and that you just have to find a way to talk about wutz going on to someone that you really trust.....having these thoughts can be serious but can be over come. Stay strong and true to yourself believe that you can go on and that you will get through this. if u want to talk feel free to pm me GOOD LUCK!!! ~chicksport Link to comment
thisisnotanexit Posted December 11, 2004 Share Posted December 11, 2004 Hey hey please remember, you're not alone. we're all here for you. you're not crazy for feeling the way you do. we all have these thoughts and we all struggle sometimes. we've been there and we support you and are here for you! anything you want to talk about, we'll be happy to listen. msg me or anyone anytime. i'm so sorry about your family. i can relate somewhat. i have a hard time dealing with my mom and dad. home is sometimes a hard place to be, but i know that i'm not going to live with them forever. i'm only 19 and you're only 16. i'm so very sorry you don't feel happy around you family, but it's not the end of your world. one day you won't live with those people who make you feel that and you'll be above it all. you've got so much life ahead of you. you never know what can happen. believe me, i've been there. if i would have gone through with suicide years ago when i thought it was what i wanted, it would have been the biggest mistake of my life. please don't make that mistake! you're going to be ok and we're all here for you i promise. you've got so much ahead of you, you just can't see it now. and as far as schooling as PE goes, fear not. i failed PE in 9th grade, i was upset about it. i didn't do well in any of my classes, actually. i'm not the brightest person in the world. but i kept trying and realize that it's not the end of the world. school and family life isn't your whole world. you're not going to be in schoool forever and you're not going to have to live with your dad and half bro the rest of your life. you're gonna keep living, and you're gonna see the good parts of life. you're gonna make it. you're not doomed, life can get better. please don't give up. please don't get lost in your sadness and believe that you'll never be ok. there is hope left and i believe in you. we all do. you're going to be ok and you'r enot going to feel like this forever. we all deal with appearance problems someties, but that redness isn't going to last forever. and if someone gives you crap about it, screw em. you're better than that and you don't neeed that. you are SUCH a strong, special person i can tell. please dont' give up now. you can do it and we're all here for you. take care and please visit this site link removed or call 1-800-SUICIDE hang in there!!! Link to comment
Emotional Posted December 20, 2004 Author Share Posted December 20, 2004 Thx i appriciate it...i Found out a ton more junk but im good i guess,..Whateber Life aint supose to be fun and games even tho i think thats what it should be... Link to comment
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