samson66 Posted December 9, 2004 Share Posted December 9, 2004 I posted awhile back -- great girl, great relationship, then out of nowhere I got dumped. That was back in September, since then I've seen her only a few times, we made out at the bar and I put no stock into that and didn't press her for anything more, not even an explanation for that. Then she invited me over for dinner a couple weeks ago and I was a little surprised to find that she'd made it pretty intimate, candles and all the rest but we didn't hook up. Anyway, after that I kind of realized I was definitely not over this girl yet but that didn't stop me from inviting her over for dinner last night, we ended up on the couch with her constantly touching my arm or tousling my hair -- very flirtly -- and then gave me a kiss on the lips when she left. Not really just friends behavior. Anyway, I would take her back, not proud of that but there is something between us, that sort of electricity that you feel when you're with someone that you know goes both ways. I'm not sure how to read it all though, she could just be attempting to be nice, or I could have totally misread her and she's just screwing with my head ... but, now I'm feeling like maybe it's time to call her out on this and say I want her back (haven't said that even once since we split). The downside is that if she's not into it I risk looking a little bit pathetic... confusing situation. Any advice on what to do here? sam Link to comment
Tryingtobestrong Posted December 9, 2004 Share Posted December 9, 2004 Hmm, her behaviour surely does not sound like she is interested in only being friends. I am sorry, I dont know the details of your breakup. Why did she break up with you? have you been in contact the whole time since then? Was there anyone else on either side? Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted December 9, 2004 Share Posted December 9, 2004 im in a similair postion...sounds to me like shes confused...just like my girl. my girl is so confused that she literallys says "im not confused" and then a few moments later will say "im just confused about..." Link to comment
samson66 Posted December 9, 2004 Author Share Posted December 9, 2004 When we broke up it was immediately after our first fight, which happened to be about her feeling I was moving a little too fast and 'something' was holding her back. There was no one else, and at the time (this is going to sound weak) I was so smitten with her that I didn't really fight her too hard on the breakup -- I was just 'if you're not into it right now, we're better off split'. Little did I know she'd be on mind 3 months later. No other people involved at the time, and as far as I know she is single as could be... and maybe that's the way she wants to keep it. We usually trade an email even now and then, no more than once or twice a week, but lately she's been calling me to see what I'm doing on a Friday night or whatever too, and came out to meet up with me last Friday. I didn't stick around too long though, we talked and whatever but nothing more than that. Link to comment
Tryingtobestrong Posted December 9, 2004 Share Posted December 9, 2004 My advice would be to just go with the flow. See if she continues wanting to spend time with you and how she acts when you do. If she continues to flirt with you, flirt back but dont say anything about you wanting her back. Act as if you were happy just spending fun time together. If she wants you back, which I think she does, she will say something or hint at it. I think you played it very well when you did not ask her about your make-out session a few weeks ago. Good luck, I think you have a chance at getting back together. Link to comment
rnorth Posted December 9, 2004 Share Posted December 9, 2004 Samson66, Sounds like you are handling everything pretty well. I even liked how you were casual about breaking up. She couldn't reciprocate and wanted to be let go and you did so. Letting go is an ultimate act of love. And she appears to be returning, slowly but surely. So I wouldn't be ashamed of anything you've done. Don't move too quickly, let it happen at its own pace. It seems to be one where she is comfortable. And have fun with it. Link to comment
samson66 Posted December 9, 2004 Author Share Posted December 9, 2004 hockeyboy, if you're in the same position as me i feel for you -- it's a difficult situation to deal with. Tryingtobestrong, your advice sounds smart, I'll try to keep going with the flow I guess. You sound like you're in the 'any attempt to bring them closer will just drive them further away' camp yeah? I have the romantized notion of wanting to fight for her a little here, I'll try to ignore that... rnorth, I like that -- have fun with it he says! She's definitely returning, but as a friend or more? Obviously hard to tell -- my suspicion is that she is probably a little confused herself right now and as opposed to making a choice to go one way or the other she's going with something in between. Thanks all, the support (as always) is much appreciated. Link to comment
samson66 Posted December 10, 2004 Author Share Posted December 10, 2004 Oh oh, one more thing... so now she's just txted me to tell me she had a 'great time (as always)' so I'd like to write her back and drop at least a subtle hint if I can that I'm hoping she comes around... any ideas? I was thinking something like 'i like hangin' out with you, though i do wonder why we're not still together sometimes.' Umm, back that's not very subtle at all is it... doh! sam Link to comment
fantasia2004 Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 Do you really need her or are suffering from withdrawal? Link to comment
samson66 Posted December 10, 2004 Author Share Posted December 10, 2004 I don't need her, but she is pretty fantastic ... aside from the most obvious and glaring problem with her that she dumped me 3 months ago, I think she's perfect. Link to comment
fantasia2004 Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 Well do what is in your heart and go for it. Treat it casual as friends and take it slow to the next level. Link to comment
samson66 Posted December 10, 2004 Author Share Posted December 10, 2004 Well, I can't remember exactly what I ended up writing her, but I said something to along the lines of 'i really like hanging out with you, even if the line gets a little blurry sometimes', referring to the fact that we kissed goodnight -- she pounced on it though and wrote me back saying 'isn't that how you say goodbye to all your friends?'. Translation? Link to comment
Tryingtobestrong Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 Hmm, dont know how she did mean it, but if I had written that, I guess I might have either tried to act casual, or be flirty. What do you think is more like her? Link to comment
PrincessLinzay Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 Well, she could either be fishing to make sure you aren't kissing all your other girl "friends" goodnight, or she could be gently telling you this is how she treats all her friends? Sounds like she's a bit confused. From what you've said it sure doesn't sound like she's treating you like a friend, so I would be more likely to go with the first. I would take it slowly and let her continue to contact you. Until she makes her intentions a bit more clear, I would be a little wary. Link to comment
samson66 Posted December 10, 2004 Author Share Posted December 10, 2004 She is definitely flirty, to the point of making my jaw drop on occaision when we were first getting together. Oh the drama... my read on it is that she's being playfully casual about it, we probably both had too much to drink and it happened -- if she didn't want me to read anything into it, then she should have ignored my subtle reference to it. If she did want me to think more about it, then she would do something along the lines of what she did... that's guy logic though, which means it could be 100% wrong when applied to a girl. Link to comment
samson66 Posted December 11, 2004 Author Share Posted December 11, 2004 I know, I know... too many posts from me on this subject but I really do like having a sounding board for some of this stuff. So I wrote her back and mentioned that no, I only say goodnight like that to her when I forget what happened way back in September. Her reply, she considers September forgotten already and expects goodnights like that from me now. What?! I don't think I'm reading that the wrong way -- she's left the door open right? I don't even have a reply to that right now, but my thought is to still move slow and be sure... Link to comment
PrincessLinzay Posted December 11, 2004 Share Posted December 11, 2004 All of her signals seem to be encouraging. I know I for one don't kiss all my male friends at the end of the night. There's nothing wrong with posting here, that's what it's for. It's therapeutic. Taking things slow is a good idea. Enjoy each others company for now. All good things are worth waiting for... Link to comment
Tryingtobestrong Posted December 11, 2004 Share Posted December 11, 2004 Yup, she definitely left the door open. Just move slow and enjoy the ride Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now