please help

[delage]

ok, I'm 35 year old guy, she 31. Going out one year. Had a couple of short breaks in the past. Love each other. Big trouble the past month. She ended it. We met. We both wanted back. Then it came out in conversation that we weren't back even though were seeing each other. I got a creepy feeling and ended it. She was devestated and wanted to give it another go. I've been ok the past few days as I will see her this evening to give her some cloths she had at my house (weren't living together but were considering it) and a present for her upcoming birthday. I have told her not to contact me for a long time after this evening as I need time to get over her. I absolutely live her, she loves me. We are both devestated. I am throwing away the most wonderful person I ever met. Why is this happenning. Is there an alternative. For my age I haven't gone out with many girld. I have been in love once before in my late teens but not like this.... Help

[angelic_spirit825]

Ok, hi! firstly i would say i feel slightly unqualified to be giving advice here because i am only 17 and although i am in love at the moment and have been once before i haven't been around the block that many times if you know what i mean but i'll try and give you a hand with this one!

Ok...you've been out with this woman before and had a good relationship i'm gathering until a sudden argument split you up but whilst together you were even considering moving in together. Now the fact that you say you love each other i would've thought would've been a flashing neon light to tell her how you feel! you must surely by now know that honesty and open communication is whats important to make a relationship work - you have already been out for a while and so you know each other ... tell her how you feel but don't be too direct you're trying to make her feel special not scared here! but it seems obvious to me you should go for it! hope you get along ok with this, let me know! take care, laterz p.s. be yourself!!

[bzborow1]

How did she let it slip in a conversation that you two weren't back together? Maybe she was just wanting some sort of confirmation of it, "hey, are we back together?"

 

I'm only 23, but have been through a long term relationship of 5 years. If you feel the way you are saying on this board, wouldn't it be better to just sit her down and ask her where she stands? You don't have to apologize for anything, but just give her the opportunity to win you back, so to speak. There's no sense playing games, you both did that when you were in high school.

[delage]

We were sitting talking to each other, holding hands and having a laugh, getting on great. She said she felt we had a great chance. I said I didn't really know where I stod but it felt like we were back. Then she said we weren't back. We ended up in her house. I got a creepy feeling about the whole thing and said I was going home. I ended it and asked her to leave me alone for a while so I could get over the whole thing. She sent me a text the next day and wanted to meet. We did. I said I couldn't handle it any more. It got too complicated and confusing. She said she didn't want to loose me and asked was I just playing mind games. I told her I wasn't. I wasn't. We spoke for a while. I arranged for us to meet again (this evening) so I could give her some of her cloths from my house. I want to be Mr. Tough guy in the hope that given time all will be ok. I'm afraid that this won't pay off and she'll end up with someone else and I'll have to kill him (joke) but jokes aside I am seriously confused. I know I won't do better and if I could do better I wouldn't want better. Do I sound like a weirdo? I seriously amn't

[bzborow1]

Unless she cheated on you, i'm not too sure why all the drastic measures are needed. Maybe some time apart is okay. I'm just saying to be honest with her and let the rest fall where is does.