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How can I make him interested in me?

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I am a freshman in college. I met this junior guy in the beginning of the school year. I didn't like him at first, but I knew he was super smart and really busy. We became friends and had good time making fun of each other and joking around. But from some point on, I wasn't sure what he meant(teasing and chatting) and I became interested in him. Yet I sometimes could not understand his behaviors. He was extremely nice to me. He would always ask me how things were going and try to help me. But he would never ask my number or screen name. Also, there were several chances we could spend time together, but he didn't take advantage of that. I wasn't sure what was going on between us and my friends suggested me to email him. So I emailed him and told him that I didn't understand his mixed messages because sometimes he seemed interested and other times he didn't. And he emailed me back apologizing for creating this confusion and told me that he just wanted be nice. I was so embarrased and I didn't want to see him again. But since the email, it is evident that he's putting much efforts to make this less awkward. Now I realize how considerate and caring person he is and I am sure he will be a great boy friend. He is smart, cute, funny, gentle, and everything I was hoping for. But in his reply, he seemed tired of committing himself into another relationship after previous long relationship. And I remember him saying he is too busy to have a relationship and in general he is not interested in anything more than friendship at this point. But I just can't give up. I don't expect to date him right away. I can wait.

Should I wait for this guy? or is it impossible to make him interested in me? And if possible, what should I do to make him interest in me?

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I think this guy might be trying to let you know (nicely) that he's not interested in having a romantic relationship with you - right now. It could be, if you're patient and stay friends with him, that he might be interested in that at another time. But, right now he's made it pretty clear that he can't handle being in another relationship.


I can't say whether or not persistency will help in this situation. To be honest, if my boyfriend hadn't of been so persistent with me in the beginning, I probably wouldn't be with him right now. However, I think men and women are different when it comes to matters concerning relationships; when men make bold moves out of love, it usually makes them "romantic". When women do, it is usually considered "desperate" or "needy" (Sarah Jessica Parker said this best on Sex and the City, lol).

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I think (sorry for sounding like this) but he just is not that into you. It could change, but wouldn't you rather have someone who lets you know they want you and does have time for you/wants you/asks for your number?


If you want to be friends with him, then do so, but be careful of your reasons for being friends with him...there are possible ways to influence his feelings for you, however you also need to decide if you want to go that route...or seek someone who is going to adore you for being you without having to influence them!


Good luck!

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Its only possible to increase a persons interest in you if an interest already exists in them. However this effect is only temporary and is usually only used if you have short term goals in mind. At this point he is telling you that he doesnt want more than a friendship, accept that and move on to another guy with similar qualities.

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sorry you're not getting the answer you want here.


I had a crush a few years ago and the guy obviously liked me also... we were on our way to a relationship when he backed off because i'm an atheist and he's a devoted Christian... and i'm a perfectionist and he just wants to get by... and i'm a neat freak but he's a slob. ... other than those minor differences i think the two of us could have been a good match. (except, haha, i found a better person and he kept failing in all his relationships!) I was really upset when I couldn't make him follow through with his feelings and I hung on it for a while... so I can totally understand what you're going through. We probably all been there before.


Sometimes our crushes just don't work out though. If you move on, the next person you're interested might be a better match.


For whatever reason he really doesn't sound like he's too interested in you. What he said about he's too busy and just wants to be friends is a lie. The busiest people I know make time to have girlfriends. I have a guy friend taking 26 units a quarter + having a job, and he's had a girlfriend for 2 years. He makes time even though he's busy. My boyfriend used to work from 7am to 9 or 10 pm... 8 of which he was paid for, the rest he was vonlunteering because he loved the job so much.. .then he was volunteering at an aikido dojo teaching classes and commenting for music videos on the side... he made time for me. He couldn't give me a lot of time, maybe 20 minutes a day, but he tried.


It really doesn't matter how busy we are, if we want something we're going to make time for it.


I'm sorry we're all shattering your dreams and we're not helping you any. The truth is even though we tell you all this you might still choose to pursue him for a bit more, but when you have the chance, please slow down and rethink the whole situation. I really think the next person may be better for you. He's not the only person in the world that's nice and kind.

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Hi Pal,

I was reading ur post and i have a suggestion if u wan to have some fun.

If i were to say he is a BAD GUY, that would be very discriminating on my part. If i were to say he is a NICE GUY, that would seems to be Deceiving on his part.

So I would suggest u to write an email back to him, telling him how nice he is and how nice he should maintain himself for friendship, since he is THAT keen on friendship oNly!

And if he does maintain that level of frdship, u are a step further on developing something with him, next probably u can highlight to him how bz he is for a cup of kopi with his friends, example u, and see how his reply is like. Coz i believe guys in this stage would do some SELF-AVOIDANCE scheme, so well, leave him at that and tease on him whenever u see him in college, like example 'gosh i didnt know u had start to love the kitchen much more than a gal' if he spent time more in the kitchen than any part of the day.

Well, next, probably u can tell him, HOW NICE OF A GUY HE HAS BEEN to u, as what u type in here, that sort of sincerity, and oso says that his confusion had also made u sort things out of what u want(some of the advices from others in here), and tell him U ALSO WAN A FRDSHIP only.


Now u can not only get back at him, u can also maintain a good frdship.


Like the others, i share the same views, the next guy maybe better!


Thanks for reading

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