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Self discovery


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Firstly i must thank all the good people who responded and followed my train wreck of personal problems, and all of your advice has brought me to a personal discovery and showed me were i need to start to fix my anger problems and this sense of doom. As advised by many responders i am angry mostly at big concepts, and i realize now that i am this way because i cannot focus on the smaller ones. Its not from a lack of trying i can assure you, but as ive mentioned i have depersonalization disorder. Right now its close to impossible for me to accept the small things, because they all seem fake. I cant accept who i am and the world thats closest around me. I guess to protect myself. So all i can focus on is that big picture. That sense of doom comes from my depersonalization i suspect too. Since i cannot accept myself as i am i expect to wake up someone different or rather someplace different, so in a sense i would have "died" atleast the person i cannot accept as myself. Reading this myself it sounds all rather disjointed or crazy, but i guess thats just the hand i was dealt. I really think ive found a place to start improving, and that would be to find a way to accept who i am, who i see in the mirror, as me. Then i can focus on the small things and i can get rid of the unnessecary anger. I would like any further advice on how to start this process and any advice by the more experienced as to what you think of these conclusions ive drawn for myself. But even if im a little off on my conclusions, id still like to thank you all for helping so much, it does mean an awful lot.

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