The L Bomb.

[Forrest99]

I started talking to a guy online in September and we decided to eventually meet around a month and a half ago.

We talk every day for a good few hours or so, and have spent a couple of nights in each other's company.

 

This guy has had quite an upsetting family/relationship background, and professes to have never "loved" anyone, or had anyone love him before.

On several occasions he has stated how he feels scared about love, mentioning his worry over the other person not reciprocating the love.. & I've explained to him that love does not always develop simultaneously. & that the feeling/experience of love is unique to each person.

 

Anyway, the night before last.. He decided to tell me he loved me. Which was a bit of a shock.

Although I feel strongly about him, I'm just not there yet. & because I didn't want to tell him I loved him when I didn't, I simply told him how special that made me feel etc.

 

Since then he's been telling me that he feels like a d*ck and feels very embarrassed about it all. He says that although he doesn't regret saying it, he just wishes he'd said it at a more opportune moment.. When I would be more likely to say it back.

& I think he's very hurt over the fact I didn't say "I love you too".

 

I'm not sure how to reassure him/what to do?

[SocialStigma]

Don't feel pressured to reciprocate, everyone moves at different speeds. My boyfriend told me he loved me months before I was ready to, I just told him that I liked him a lot and I could see myself falling for him but I wasn't there yet.

[SooSad33]

Interesting how he was 'talking' so much about it- and then ends up actually 'saying' it.

At this point in time.. with NOT many months along, I say, what he 'feels' is NOT love, but 'lust'. I dont believe one can come to 'love' a person that fast.

 

Fine to have some 'strong' emotions about one you're with, but no, not this fast.

Don't feel you have to say it back, especially if you don't 'feel' that way. One shld never 'fake' it.

 

Give it time... much more time.