Nafalor Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 Im 21 year old guy...i dont have much friends most of time i live alone at home...my parents and friends say im very shy & girlish...im.very fair and skinny...not beautifull....im not good at any sports or im not active...so most of time i sleep or going through depression forums or watching porn on internet..cause i dont have anyother thing to do...cause im a loser..i failed at school exam..no job now and i never had a girlfriend or not even a female friend (tears) most of time i spent thinking why others have many friends girls & gfs...how they live such happy...from my childhood i didnt understand this...im a very dull dry ugly boring and miserable child...i curse on my parents for giving me birth every min...when i see my friends with their girlfriends i die & cry inside...when they talk about how their gfs gave kiss and etc tears falling from my eyes... i have a facebook but nobody likes my status or photos...i recently uploaded my first profile pic and only got 4likes...but when my friends do they get about 200+ likes and comments...im now fed up and feeling down on fb...now using just a black pro.pic....and nothing to do there...iam stalking my friends accounts beautifull girls accounts and popular guys accounts...it makes me cry at nights..cause how they get 100+ likes,comments tags from girls and i only get 4likes...when they put Relationship status i feel pain in heart...... so i havr nothing to do i curse on my parents why the f they made me a fail guy like me..... i av many social apps whatsapp instagram viber etc...but no one there for me to use them...frienfs dont like me..so i most of time listen to music while on bed... i always wanted to av gf but i never did...noone likes me...they likes to guys who popular on fb or sport guys or music guys or thugs or cute rich guys...but im not any type of that im just a dull guy who always sleep alone...so i watch porn always it only makes ne relax.... when i goto do a work or help i only get blames or someone do better than me...im fail at everything if i go somewhere i get laughed by people or cheated by them cause im a girlish dull guy.... i have a crush on nextdoor girl but im afraid because she is damn pretty...most of guys looking at her and i know she will never likes a rat like me...cause even i hate to see my face in a photo or mirror...wish if i was a dog..so at least i can live happily... im posting my story ecause no one is here to tell my cursed life..when i see others happy or with their gf i secretly cry inside...i dont hate anyone or jealous..but made me sad why no one likes me or idont have a gf..maybe becuse im a loser...i know life is not easy..but why it only tough on me...never had a smile,never had a gf,never had a friend...why always me??? im not doing any drugs,bad things,not cheating stealing or anything...but people who do such things have many gfs money friends and all...but the honest me i dont have anyons...its ok i dont hate anyone..maybe universe is taking revenge on me...i dont care nobody knows the pain i get when i see my friends with their girls..cause im.alone...no gf no friends no family nothing...im just a fail guy who dropped to this wicked world...i dont pray but when i do i ask to keep the world happy...but its not working...im fed up with my life so im going to suicide within this month,going to use a iron string and hang myself soon....so maybe someday u'll see my story then u'll understand my choice is worth....cause im.alone in this wickef world.... Thanks for reading my story...i feel some relax after typing it here...so my life will end this month...but i wish happines long live and may all ur dreams come true....... Thank you for reading! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildflower88 Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 Your 21 years old, that is very young. You life has just started and you have a very long road to self discovery. I wouldn't throw in the towel because other people don't give you the attention you crave and facebook likes aren't a good enough reason to kick the bucket either. You have to figure out who you are, and get yourself out of this depression before you can get into a relationship. I know that all you want is for a girl to like you, but you don't even like yourself.. and you have to repair that before you can move forward. You need to write down you goals, your plans, where do you want to go? what do you want to do? Fall in love with yourself before you try to fall in love with someone else... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsomnia912 Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 Sounds like my life. I deleted all my accounts... I have no friends. My love life has been a nightmare my whole life. To the point where I want nothing to do with anyone... Suicide is kinda cheap though.... Life is hard... And I'm not going to say it'll get better cause I'm 30s and it still sucks. I won't kill myself though... I'll take it all. I sit alone all days and nights. Porn no longer interests me. Love doesn't. Friends are not for me. I read and write. And wait for god to take me. I own a pistol... I keep it loaded under my mattress. Each night before bed I take it out, l it back ejecting the bullet, look at it... Place it back in and slam it in place and put it back undernieth my mattress. I'll never use it on myself but i do smile when I think about what would happen if a burgler came in... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nafalor Posted November 10, 2013 Author Share Posted November 10, 2013 @Wildflower88 thanks for ur reply...i appreciate u for atleast u read my suicide note....i know im 21 & i have more to go in life..but how im supposed to go with this manner...no gf no friend nothing at all...nobody likes me im get cheated,laughed by others so how i live my next life...all my friends have gfs some realtionships longer than 2years,others having their 2nd or 3rd gf....also they have many feamale friends but i dont...when they chat with them text or call with them im just siting and crying inside,when they get more than 100likes on fb and comments on fb while i dont even get 2likes i die inside....everytime i wish for things work to me like they work for others but im such unlucky..... i dont have any goals of life because im down in life but i always had a dream to own a modified Honda civic...thats the only thing i ever wanted cause i know not any girls love me im not the guy who wins anyones hearts..im just a boring dull sleepy guy everyone hate...i wish i could live like others but it isnt happening...i didnt get any texts from a gf cause i never had one...and now u can understand im such a loser...so thanks for ur kind comment.. so no use of living anymore...no one can help m im just a cursed guy at birth...its better to end this damn life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nafalor Posted November 10, 2013 Author Share Posted November 10, 2013 @nsomnia912 Your stroy and my story same.....think u can understand how it feels...atleast u had a love before...but i never get any...who will fallen in love with a loser like me i dont have a pistol...i wish i had a pistol...so i wont here to post this....a bullet can slove my all problems..... somedays at midnight i cry alone while huggin the pig why i dont have a gf...why nobody likes me...i cry till dawn and sleep with the chest on my pain....only thing i have is my phone and its music only...nobody to call or text me...nobody on fb to chat or comment like me...i dont have a gf others have many...my photo in fb have only 4likes....while others have 100+ when i see my friends pics with gfs tears falling...in my life i never done any bad things i never hurt anyone,i traeted poor people with money i av been kind to everyone but i dont have a gf or friends..but the people who do many bad things even drugs they have gfs...so what to do i only have to curse my parents for giving me birth...they could have a good sporty beautifull talented hot boy insteda of me...im a loser. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJ2980 Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 That is so sad. Your story is not unique though. I know plenty people who didn't finish school but have gone on to great jobs. If you have a good work ethic some companies will see past your lack of education. I didn't finish high school (got good grades but had to drop out as I got booted out of home at 17 and had to start supporting myself financially) but I've always had steady work and I do really well in that area. As for your looks why are you concentrating on them so much? Not everyone in this world is pleasing to the eye and really it's one of those things that is in the eye of the beholder. Someone I might think is beautiful is not necessarily going to be someone else's cup of tea. As for the lack of friends I'm not surprised you don't have any. It sounds like you stay at home day in and day out. You are hardly going to meet new people by sitting at home. Why don't you join some kind of social club? What are your interests? Making friends may look easy for some but by far the majority of us have to work on making new ones. As for having a gf at this moment would you really want someone to date you in your present frame of mind? Seriously? I think you need I work on beginning to like yourself before thinking about a relationship. Even if a girl was interested right now she wouldn't be for long because you have such a down and out attitude. I feel sorry for your low self worth and I don't want to minimise how you feel but you can choose to keep feeling crappy about your existence or you can start trying to improve your situation. You won't succeed by giving up at the first few hurdles. Life can be hard yes. But it's not a unique experience to you. Believe it or not most people have felt your frustrations at one time or another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malvy Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 I think your problem is you're focusing to much in other people and how the perceive you. You need to start focusing on the things you want, on the things you like about yourself and in how to change the things you don't like that much about yourself. And if you start living your life with the purpose to actually do something about those things, then I guarantee you more people will start taking notice of you. The universe doesn't hate you, life doesn't hate you. It seems to me the only one who hates you is you. But there's nothing wrong with that, because you're still young and there's still lots of time for you to change. Im only 25 years old, and back in high school I wasn't that different from you. I barely had any friends (and was actually bullied by the school's jerks), couldn't play any sports and couldn't even meet any girls. Fast forward 7 years and Im now a tennis pro with a college degree in physics (even though I also failed my first exam to get into university), and, most importantly, feel like my life is only starting. And you know how was I able to achieve all that? By never immersing myself into a sea of self pity of me, by not letting others put me down with their jerkiness, by always looking at all those things I had yet to live and by always looking a life with a high degree of optimism (even though things were never easy for me and it always looked like God simply wasn't interested in letting me live all those things I always dreamed with). Its all about growing a personality (and you don't need anyone to do that). Everything else (love, success and happiness) comes with that. Just don't give up and never stop fighting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nafalor Posted November 10, 2013 Author Share Posted November 10, 2013 Hey Malvy ur comment made me tears...thanks u all for bringin me up...i dont have any friends like you to bring me up...thank u all...i havent seen any of u but ur comments made me hope...and save my life...thanks a lot....im suffering when everyone have gf but i dont...when they txt call with gf i feel to die...im such a loser...i never had a date,a valentine day,a gift even a text from a girl...see my miserable life...while my friends phones are busy with calls sms social msgs...i dont even havea one text...even in fb im looking for inspiration photos...i had hope someday everthything wiill come to me at perfect time...but it never worked for me..so what should i do except i hate myself and curse...evertime i wish to god take my life instead of cancer patients life...no use of my life...i dont have a personality...i easily get embarrass,cheatef hurt by people...so i hate myself why i cant be my own...why i cant be like have a gf txt with her going out with her,going out with friends...but why not for me?? Why why why??? why nothing works for me?? everytime i try to be positive but when i see others it makes me feeling down..when i see a guy with a gf i wish i could die at that moment...im a loser.......i know everyone fighting a battle but why mine is so hard...nobody likes me even...they have their own friends girls...even in fb i dont have one...somenights i cry for hours cause i dont have anything other have...i tried to build up a personality but i get throw away when theres a nice guy more than me...i hate that....thats why i love to be alone always watchin porn.....i hate my life.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fushigidane Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 I am 22 and 21 was the worst year of my life thus far. You are young, we are young. It might hurt now but trust me it gets better. Please don't talk suicide. My fathers best friend did it and I really think he didn't understand how many people it would hurt. I know things suck now but they will get better. You are stronger than you think and you can overcome this. I used to hurt myself, cut myself. I did horrible things, but it's better now. Just hang in there please. I know it doesn't mean much but I care about you, and I'd be sad if you were gone. And there are many people who feel the same. All of us here and all of the people in your life. You'll find someone wonderful someday. You just need to keep looking. You don't just find diamonds laying around in front of your face. You can do it, and you WILL do it. Give it time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeepBlueSea Posted November 11, 2013 Share Posted November 11, 2013 I am so sorry..I was a bit like you at your age a decade ago ...I do assue you however things would get better with time..! Who the hell gets 200 likes..I for one would be happy with four likes. One day I added all the old mates from school I thought were not my friends. Turns out they were willing to give me second chance..You need Therapy and if doctor thinks he/she would put you on meds Therapy did help me, I am off meds now and doing much better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nafalor Posted November 11, 2013 Author Share Posted November 11, 2013 @Deepblueasea Happy to hear things now working for you..but not for me...idk whats wrong with me i know im a good heart guy i help to all with my kindness..some payme back while others cheat on me...why world so rude on me?? i didnt do any wrong to any people..never ever...but the bad guys always win they have friends they have girls so they enjoy life..... i dont want to go for a doctor...cause im not a patient...why should i...and i know doctor cant help me with the situation i live in....if miracles happen i believe they can change my life...but im not praying god anymore stopped it years ago...there was a time when i see my friends with gfs or their pics on fb i silently wish & prayed for a gf but i didnt get any...so i giveup on god.... and if u say who get 200+ likes yes my friends do...their some pics have more than 300+ likes & many comments..even from girls...but my pic only have 4likes...shame on me...you dont know the feel i feel...im burning inside when they post pics with their girlfriends...my status dont have even 1likes...so even in fb im alone...never girl liked my status or pics...never they sent me a request...why whats wrong with me??? you know even now my chest paining....things might will good ar someday but how i wait for that day without a gf while every my friend have one??? wgen they call with them i have nothing to do...i hate this life...i curse on my parents for giving me birth...even they curse on me they should have a good takented smart boy...not a loser like me...all girls are attracted to guys who have hundred likes but who the hell likes on my damn photo...... so i dont have any desire or reason for live and even nothing to lose...im just living with pain...so suicide is the only solution...when i goto city i walk alone...while others walk with gfs...i stare at them and wandering...no one knows the pain in my heart which i feel when i see them.....sometimes i plug earphones and dream if i had a gf i would walk with her text everyday call & going out...i stare at the girls pics on fb for houres even they have boyfreinds...but im stare at them and dream....hmmm my clumsy life and dont tell me go out and make freinds..i tried but no body want to be friends with a empty loser like me..they like good guys..believe me i dont have any female freinds...i went to a compute course but all the girls were friends with guys except me thats how sad my life is.....i die unside when girls & boys talk to each other.they lije talented smart good body guys not a dumb loser empty girlish guy like me.therefore im alone....im deep sad wish why dont a car hit me to die or why god dont take my life over cancer patient who wish for life......i dont want to live no happiness at all in my life i never had any.all people i konw getting girls even guys who young than me.but im alone in my life...someday things will be good for everyone.but not for me i know universe hate me but idk why it dont end my life thats what i wishing for.....my fb profile is a joke 4likes lol.. i hate everything in my life now even my parents.things.everyone enjoying life but im suffering....so im gonna suicide.i dont want sleeples nights & cry all day or pain in my chest.i want to end this damnes my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Windy Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Deepblueasea , I used to feel just like you. I was older and had never been kissed like my other friends had. I wanted to leave the world because it seemed so much easier. But remember, if you commit suicide your soul will be lonely at heart like it is now--but forever. I didn't like the idea of my lonely soul staying that way forever! You must remember that Facebook is NOT real. Anybody can make a FB that makes them look like a superstar. You know those four people that liked your picture? They are your REAL friends. It is better to have a few good friends than a dozen fake friends! Make a list of the things you want to change in your life. Then be honest and write down what you can do to fix your sadness. Did you know that exercise makes your mood happy and can change you from being depressed to being happy? Lifting weights while you listen to music will make your mood so much happier and your body will 'morph' into a strong man's physique! Also, getting a job will help you meet people. Most people will tell you they find their love when they WEREN'T even looking! If you start lifting weights and get a job you will look and feel better about yourself. You sound like a nice person, so I bet you can make a few changes and love your 'new' life. Staying in bed too long will make you sadder, and paler, and your body weaker. You MUST break free of the confines of your room. We all fail at things. I failed classes before, as well. You can fix that by studying harder but you must work on feeling better so you can focus on your studies. Take a few steps at time. I would start with exercise and looking for a job. Because when your body looks strong from exercise you will need money to take out a nice girl on a date! Start slow and build up. You MUST start exercising to feel better. Do NOT judge your life by what you see on Facebook; it is NOT real. You have so much to do in your life. Give yourself the chance; you deserve it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamkaylee Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Nafalor, you are not alone sweetheart. You have us. There are always friends on this forum. Look how many people have already reached out to you. You are worth it. Please listen to some of the good advice you've been given. You're NOT a loser and we do care. Hugs for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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